Track Jokes

My boss said to me, "you're the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?" I said, "I'm not sure; it's hard to keep track."

Apparently, someone has been shot with a starter pistol at the athletics track. Police think it was race related.

Apparently someone has been shot with a starter pistol at the athletics track Police think it may be race related

They say the feds track all internet activity and look out for keywords that indicate terrorism or otherwise I wanted to test this out and Googled "how to kill President"

Few days later I received a care package containing ammo

Deep. Pessimist sees nothing but dark in the tunnel.

Optimist sees light in the end of the tunnel.

Realist sees light from incoming train.

Engine-driver sees three idiots standing on the track.

My boss told me, "You are the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?" I replied, "I don't know; it's hard to keep track".

I asked a train engineer how many times he's derailed the train. He looked at me and said "I honestly don't know... It's hard to keep track".

Yoda and Luke Skywalker are together in a ship when Luke asks... Luke: are we on track?

Yoda: off course, we are.

Train driver My boss said to me, “you're the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?”

I said, “I'm not sure; it's hard to keep track.”

"Master Yoda, are we on the right track?" "Off course, we are.."

Post Malone may be a popular rapper, but have you heard of his long-lost cousin Ho Malone? His most popular track is about some kid named Kevin who has to fight off burglars in his house.

"Yoda, are we on the right track?" "Off course, we are."

Number 7 Mark dreams number 7.

He wakes up, looks at his watch: it was 7:07.

He looked at the calendar: July 7, 2007.

Decided it was a sign he's taking the bus 77.

Arrive at the track, put $ 7777 on the horse 7 from the 7th race.

The horse comes seventh.

My boss said to me, “you're the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?" I said, “I'm not sure; it's hard to keep track.”

Hitler was worst track runner he couldn't even finish one race

Best read out loud I was walking past my local athletics track when I saw a man carrying a very long, thin bag. I asked him "are you a pole vaulter?"

He said "Nein, I am German, but how did you know my name was Walter?"

My boss said to me. "You're the worst train driver. How many have you derailed this year?" I said " im not sure, its hard to keep track"

How many trains have I derailed in all my years as a train driver? It's hard to keep track.

There are so many forms of martial arts, it’s hard to keep track of. Kind of.. Kung Fusing

I asked a train engineer how many times he had derailed. He said


"I don't know it's hard to keep track."

Someone stole my copy of Microsoft office.. I will track you down, you have my word.

Boss : You are the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year? “I'm not sure; it's hard to keep track.”

Why was Hitler kicked off the track team? He could never finish a race.

Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will track you down... You have my Word

I am totally not a racist but... Compared to all the others types of races, I think the 400 meter hurdles present the most barriers for track athletes.

What did the man do after listening to a Pink Floyd album for two hours? Skip to the next track

How does Peter Parker keep track of the number of arachnids in any given neighborhood? He uses his spider census.

A police officer is chasing a hacker He loses track of him in the streets and asks a passerby:
-Where is he,where is the hacker!?
-I don't know,he ransomware.

Why did the chicken skip a track on his Red Hot Chili Peppers CD? To get to the Otherside.

So I met this guy at the train station... who was trying to kill himself. But I knew he was just looking for help, so I put him on the right track.

What's the difference between a women's track team and a tribe of smart pygmies? The pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts.

I made a dream diary too keep track of my weird dreams Too bad the pages are all stuck together

Our divine caster lost track of his healing spells. It was a clerical error.

Two fish are in a tank... ...And one fish says "you man the guns, I'l drive!"

(laugh track)

Suddenly, the fish points to the horizon and says "What is that over there?" The other fish then exclaims "That's anemone! I can sea him!"

How do woman keep track of their mentraul cycles? Flow charts.

What do you get when a proctologist runs track? Rectal pro laps

I decided to make a website so rednecks can find out and track who their ancestors were... I named it Incestry

Did you hear about the inner city kid who got that track scholarship? He overcame many hurdles.

What's the difference Between a women's track team and a group of pygmy warriors?

One is a cunning group of runts.