Hilarious Training Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Training Jokes

You know there's no official training for garbage men? They just pick it up as they go along.

Score: 10633

drug-sniffing dog Me: "Sweet dog you got there"

Policeman: "Yes, this is our new drug-sniffing dog."

Me: "Still in training, huh?"

Policeman: "What do you mean?"

Me: "Nevermind"

Score: 5847

Whats the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage? I don't know I just fly the drone.

Score: 1729

Whats the difference between an ISIS training camp and a children's hospital? I dunno, I just fly the drone...

Score: 1637

Whats the difference between an al qaeda training camp and a school? I dont know, I just fly the drones.

Score: 854

What's the difference between a Syrian wedding and an ISIS training camp? I don't know man, I just fly the drone.

Score: 814

What's the difference between a Pakistani middle school and an Al Qaeda training ground? I dunno, I just fly the drone.

Score: 736

What is the difference between a Pakistani Wedding and a Taliban training camp? I don't know, I just fly the drone.

Score: 623

Score: 293

What's the difference between a Pakistani wedding party and an Al-Qaeda training camp? Dunno, I just fly the drone.

Score: 287

Camouflage training The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier, "I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning."

"Thank you very much, sir."

Score: 280

Camouflage training at the military Captain: I DIDN'T SEE YOU AT THE CAMOUFLAGE TRAINING TODAY JOHNSON!!

Johnson: Thank you sir!

Score: 258

What’s the difference between a children’s hospital and an ISIS training camp? I dunno, I just fly the drones

Score: 228

Sergeant Miller! Yes sir?

I didn't see you at the camouflage training yesterday!

Thank you sir!

Score: 190

my dog is training to be a blacksmith every now and then he'll make a bolt for the door

Score: 189

I told my husband I was going to weight training tomorrow... He said hold on, just hold on a sec, hold on a little longer. Then he said “I’m giving you wait training now”

That literally just happened.

Score: 182

What's the difference between a Taliban training camp and a Pakistani wedding? I don't know. I just fly the drone.

Score: 175

What's the difference between a school and an ISIS training camp? I don't know, i just fly the drone

Score: 165

What did the Stormtrooper say to his family before shipping off to Empire basic training? I’ll miss you.

Score: 137

Camouflage training "Soldier!"
"Yes, sergeant!"
"I haven't seen you at camouflage training today!"
"Thank you, sergeant!"

Score: 123

A sergeant at a training camp calls one of the new recruits to his office... "I didn't see you at camouflage training today!"

"Thank you so much, sir!"

Score: 98

camouflage training Drill Sergeant: "I DID NOT SEE YOU AT CAMOUFLAGE TRAINING THIS MORNING CORPORAL!!!!"

Corporal: "Thank you sir."

Score: 95

I do resistance training every day It's called refusing to go to the gym

Score: 87

I was being trained as a caller in a suicide prevention hotline... ...On my first day of training, my manager said;

"Let me show you the ropes!"

Score: 86

What's the difference between a Pakistani grade school and an Al-Qaeda training base? How am I supposed to know, I just pilot the drone

Score: 82

What's the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school? Don't ask me, I just fly the drones.

Score: 76

Hello, this is Seaworld... your call may be recorded for training porpoises

Score: 64

What's the difference between a Pakistani Kindergarten and a Taliban Training Ground? Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.

Score: 55

Nobody wants to die alone. That's why I'm training for my pilot's license.

Score: 55

Why are the majority of firefighters men? They've been training with fluid launching cannons since the day they were born.

I'll show myself out.

Score: 52

How do you tell the difference between a Pakistani wedding and an ISIS training camp? I don't know, I just fly the drone

Score: 50

Why did Medusa have to take harassment in the workplace training? Because she wouldn't stop objectifying people.

Score: 39

As a young boy I always wanted to join a violent gang Just got accepted into police training, who says dreams don't come true.

Score: 34

I just started going for a sniper training course My trainer told me that sniping is like programming, you gotta C#.

Score: 31

What's the difference between an ISIS training camp and a Pakistani school I don't know man, I just fly the drone.

Score: 23

What's the difference between an ISIS training camp and a Pakistani elementary school? I don't know man, I just fly the drone.

Score: 23

What’s the difference between a Middle Eastern preschool and an ISIS training camp? I have no idea, I just fly the drone

Score: 21

When you have a pet rock Friend: What are you doing?

Me: Training my pet rock

Friend: That's dumb

Pet Rock: *leaps from my hand & hits him in the face*

Me: No Rocky, No!

Score: 19

I'm Devastated. After 7 years of medical training a good freind of mine has been struck off after one minor indiscretion. He Slept with one of his patients. He was a really nice guy, and a Brillant Vet

Score: 15

They say when confronted by a bear, the best thing to do is play dead, so when I came face to face with one in the woods the other day, I accidentally played dad instead... Now it can ride a bike without training wheels...

Score: 12

New Training Jokes

Inspired by 4 year old daughter: What do you call a T-Rex after resistance training? Dino Sore.

Score: 2

Why didn't the Tenth Doctor like potty training as a kid? [spoiler I guess?] He didn't want to go.

Score: 6

What do you call senior citizens with erectile dysfunction training for the summer games? Oldlimpdick athletes.

Score: 3

I took an Israeli Army Style training course a couple of years ago. Now I know how to kick a Palestinian woman 16 different ways in the back.

Score: 1

During basic training, I was teased horribly for wanting to join the Navy. That all changed when I was enlisted. There’s no point teasing each other when you’re all in the same boat.

Score: 5

What's the difference between a school and a Taliban training ground? The children are taught to aim for the sky, the Taliaban are taught to aim for this guy.

Score: 2

To all you Islamophobes, not all Muslims are terrorists! Some are under training

Score: 4

Private, I did not see you in camouflage training today! Thank you, Sir!

Score: 9

Mike Tyson’s workout involves extreme training 6 days a week. I’m relieved to know he, at least, got Thunday off.

Score: 1

I'm not a fan of Starbucks new racial bias training I just got thrown out for ordering a black coffee

Score: 3

Did you know that you can transfer into a much higher paying job in IT with almost no training? Apparently its all about networking...

Score: 8

Might skip the gym 'cause I don't like training abs and the weather doesn't look promising. It's oblique day.

Score: 2

I might not go to the gym because I don't like training abs and the weather doesn't look promising. It's oblique day.

Score: 2

What kind of disease can you get from learning? Training aids.

Score: 3

My dog needed training, so I brought him into the bedroom at night. From me he learned how to beg.

My wife taught him how to roll over and play dead.

Score: 3

What's the difference between a hospital and an ISIS training camp? I dunno, I just operate the drone.

Score: 3

A baker was training his protege in the kitchen. The protege gets hungry and starts eating some dough he found on the counter. The baker gets mad and yells, "Hey! I kneaded that!"

Score: 5

You hear about the former inmate whos training to become a magician? Hes really getting his act together...

Score: 2

In the Army Sergeant: "Private Ryan, I didn't see you at camouflage training yesterday!
Private: "Thank you, sergeant.

Score: 11

Why was the lawn mower kicked out of training? Unfortunately he didn't make the cut.

Score: 1

The Indian Spy training University is very effective Even the food has spice in it..

Score: 2

I was training to be a maths teacher until a concussion regressed my ability to when I was 12. I suppose its back to 1^2.

Score: 1

Secret Service Have Undergone New Training, Instead of "Get Down Mr. President!" it's... "Donald, Duck!"

Score: 8

When you use machine learning to analyze the news.... You're training a CNN CNN.

Score: 1

A training plane with 4 people crashes into a graveyard. 79 victims were found dead in the first hour of search and rescue. Authorities fear that the number may rise.

Score: 4

I hear Jian Ghomeshie found a new gig... Training staff at United in the new Customer Relations initiative.

Score: 1

What was the worst thing about finally getting my pilot googles at the end of pilot training? Emperor Hirohito handed them to me...

Score: 5

What do KKK and intensive training have in common? they both make black guys run faster

Score: 1

What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an elementary school? Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.

Score: 10