Truck Jokes

Contents

Funniest Truck Jokes

I called a suicide hotline in Iraq.. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

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With the rise of self-driving vehicles... With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guy's truck leaves him too

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I called a suicide hotline in Afghanistan They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

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Therapist: So what brings the two of you here today? My wife: It’s impossible to live with him. He’s too literal.

Me: My truck.

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Funny Truck Jokes
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I was depressed last night so I called a self-help phone line... Got a call centre in Afghanistan, and told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck...

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With the rise of self driving vehicles, we shall soon hear a country song about a guy's truck leaving him too.

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Officer: “I’m sorry to say this sir, but it looks like your girlfriend has been hit by a truck.” Man: “Yeah but she’s got a great personality”

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What has 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck

...I'll see myself out.

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With the rise of self driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time... Until there's a country song where the guy's truck leaves him.

Score: 499

Officer: I'm sorry to say this sir, but it looks like your girlfriend has been hit by a truck Man: Yeah, but she's got a great personality

Score: 454

Policemen: I'm sorry, sir, but it looks like your wife got hit by a truck. Man: I know, but she has a great personality.

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what do you call 2 mexicans on a fire truck? Jose and Jos-B

this was always my mom's favorite joke, R.I.P. Mom

Score: 290

What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

I'm sorry.

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Now that vehicles are driving themselves... It won't be long until a country singer writes a song about their truck leaving them too.

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What has 4 wheels and flies? Garbage truck

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Did you hear about the LEGO truck that crashed on the highway? Authorities are still trying to piece everything together...

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I called a suicide prevention line. It connected me to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I felt suicidal and they asked if I could drive a truck.

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What do you call a camera mounted on a ISIS-truck? a daeshcam

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Did you hear about the cheese truck that crashed? The street was littered with de brie

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With self-driving cars it won’t be long before we have country songs where your truck leaves you too.

Score: 154

I called the suicide hotline in Iraq. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Score: 138

Couples therapist: So tell me, what brings you here today? Wife: I can’t stand living with him. He’s too literal.

Me: My truck.

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What has four wheels and flies A Garbage truck

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Officer: I'm sorry to say, it looks like your girlfriend has been hit by a truck... Me: Yeah but she has a good personality

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There's a movie coming out about a big rig truck. Have you seen the trailer?

Score: 98

What car has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

^^^^^sorry.

Score: 95

What has six wheels and flies? A garbage truck

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What is green, has 8 wheels, and flies? A garbage truck

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What has four wheels and flys? A garbage truck.

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Police Officer: Sir it looks like your girlfriend has been hit by a truck Man: Yeah but she has a great personality

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Just saw a cop pull over a U-Haul truck. I think he's trying to bust a move.

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I called the suicide hotline in Iraq The got excited and asked if i could drive a truck

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What's big, red, hard too eat and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A fire truck

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What do you get when you cross a terrorist and a Hawaiian food truck? Aloha snack bar!


I'm sorry

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How is driving a Ford truck similar to visiting Thailand? Either way, you're likely to blow a tranny

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What do a truck driver and a slightly aroused man have in common? They both have a semi.

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What do you call a chinese food truck? A Wok in the Park

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I ran two of my friends over with my delivery truck. Now they're my flatmates.

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A truck full of toupees tipped over on my way to work this morning. This police are still combing the area.

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New Truck Jokes

The last girl I dated was like a loan on the All-New 2020 Silverado during Chevy Truck Month She made herself available for a limited time only, then had 0% interest for 12 months.

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For the perfect robbery you need a truck driver they always find a way to be in places they shouldn't be

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Two truckers were chatting at a truck stop late at night. One of the truckers says: “Have you ever seen anything paranormal on the road?” The other trucker replies: “Yeah, I saw a BMW use a turn signal once!”

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One time Chuck Norris pee'd in the tank of a semi-truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

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What did the TV detective say after Paris Hilton was run over by a truck? Huh. Looks like somebody ordered a skinny flat white.

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What do Amazon truck drivers and transgendered women have in common? They get rid of their package.

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I was having a bad day and then I played a country song in reverse... My tire on my truck got fixed, my wife apologized for cheating and came back, I didn’t run out of beer and got back on to an asphalt road!

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The secret to World Peace has been discovered!! Everyone must drink Pepsi while having their phone carrier changed to T-Mobile and drive a Dodge Ram truck!

And make the world a better, cleaner place by using Tide!

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I drove past an accident involving an ice cream truck. It must have been pretty bad because I heard one of the paramedics say that it looks like they lost a few pints.

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A prison van and a cement truck collided Several hardened criminals escaped

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A man driving a truck hits a woman who's fault is it? The mans, he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen

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What happens if you listen to a country song backwards? You get your wife back, truck back, dog back.....

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While driving home I heard on the radio that convicts had escaped a prisoner transport after colliding with a concrete truck. Authorities say to be on the lookout for hardened criminals.

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What do you call the line at a Vietnamese food truck? The Pho Queue

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A Chinese, Mexican and a Cuban are in a truck Who's driving? An immigration officer.

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I recruited a nice little girl and her cute cuddly kitten to the flat earthers this weekend. I also figured out the brakes on my truck are overdue to be replaced.

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What had four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

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What's the highest paying job in ethiopia? The machine gunner in the back of the bread truck

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How do you stop a food truck? The Lunch brake

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Dairy product truck clashed and everything inside went flying out. That's when I saw butter fly.

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Two musicians were hired to drive a grain truck They were Hall and Oates

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Who do you call when you hurt your feet while driving? A Toe Truck

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Yo momma so fat....... She got in a monster truck and made it a low rider.

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What are three most useless things in aviation? The runway behind you.

The altitude above you.

The fuel back at the fbo still in the fuel truck.

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What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck

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I've put the money attracting talisman my gf gave me on the dashboard of my car I had a head-on with an armored bank truck the next day.

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I worked on a farm for 5 years so I used FarmersOnly.com pretty frequently You didn't even need a pickup line, just a pickup truck

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I worked on a farm for 5 years so I used Farmersonly.com You didn't even need a pick up line, just a pick up truck

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A truck carrying olive oil crashed into a truck carrying red wine vinegar, inside a nudist camp First responders reported that everyone nearby was well dressed

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What's big, red and if it fell out of the tree it could kill you? Fire truck

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Why didn't the old truck go back to work when it got new wheels? It was retired!

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Dumb blonde A dumb blonde calls the fire department because her home is on fire.

"Help me, help me! My house is on fire!" she says.

"Ok, how do we get to your home". replies the dispatcher.

"DUH! Big red truck!"

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How did the cat with 9 lives die instantly? It got ran over by a 3x3 truck.

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My brother-in-law got hit by a truck Now he's semi-conscious.

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How did the little truck always take home ladies from the bar? He had the best pick-up lines.

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Big truck accident A large truck was hauling water. Next thing I know, a truck hauling vinegar smashed into the water truck. It was very loud, all I could hear was a large *douche*!

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Great free find today! Was on my way home from a friend's house today, and ran across a free 60 inch flat screen TV, just sitting on the side of the road next to a U-Haul truck.

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A truck ran over a trombone player... You could say he was a little flat.

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I saw a truck coming up behind me, but I couldn't figure out what it was trying to do. And then it hit me

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did you here about the fruit truck that got in an accident it created quite a jam

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What do you call a K9 unit in China? The food truck

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I drive a mail truck with the steering wheel on the right hand side. Sometimes I pretend I'm in England by Eating really crappy food

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Action dan here, I got a call about my wife from the ER Action dan here, I answered the phone and it was from the ER and the nurse said "Action dan It looks like your wife got hit by a truck."

I said" action dan here, well yeah, but she's got a great personality."

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A crab, a lobster, a dolphin... and a Japanese dude run over by a truck. Which one doesn't match up?

[The dolphin. The other three are all crustaceans/crushed Asians](#s)

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The fire truck game Boy : let's play the fire truck game.
Girl : how do we play?
Boy : I run my fingers up your leg and you say " Redlight" when you want me to stop.
Girl : okay.


(Few seconds later)
Girl: redlight
Boy : fire truck don't stop for red lights.

LOL

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What is Piccolo (From DBZ)'s favorite kind of truck? DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODGE!

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What had four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.


Y'all can thank my nine year old

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I saw a woman yelling at a man who was shooting a flame thrower at her house. I don't know what happened, I just heard him say "it sounds to me like you should have called a water truck"

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What happens if you play a country western song backwards? Your pickup truck starts, your wife comes back home, and your dog comes back to life.

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A Crayola truck just got robbed for profit We're currently searching for the purple traders

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Did you hear about the truck that spilt concrete across the road? It wasn't cement to happen.

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What's a truck's favorite game? Truck, truck, goose.

Original content from my four year old son.

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Why is it called a mail truck? ...because it goes around sticking its package in everyone's boxes.

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A crisp was walking down a road A truck driver drives past and asks if they want a lift
The crisp responds "No thanks, we're Walkers!"

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What do you call it when you have enough money to but a truck from 4 different people who used to cross small bodies of water? You can afford four fjord forders' fords.

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Man runs frantically towards the moving icecream truck.. "Wait!" He exclaimed.

The truck stops and the driver asks, "What can I get you today?". "Oh, nothing. I just wanted to let you know I'm a vegan."

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What happens when you sing a country music song backwards? You get your wife, truck, and land back.

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Was driving to work this morning and saw a pluming truck with the best slogan ever. Had to share... J&S Plumbing: Because sometimes a flush is better than a full house.

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Why do truck drivers like wearing finger-less gloves... They like to see their girlfriend in shorts

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What are the two biggest lies in Wyoming? My truck is paid for, and honestly officer, I was just helping the sheep over the fence.

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