Ups Jokes

called the UPS office in Germany to ask if they were sending out my Oculus Rift they said VR ready

My computer won't stop crying and singing about break ups... That's the last time I buy A Dell.

George W. Bush challenged Arnold Schwarzenegger to a push-up contest. George W. Bush challenged Arnold Schwarzenegger to a push-up contest. Schwarzenegger did 910 push-ups. Bush won because he did 911.

Why can't t-rexs do push ups? Because they have been extinct for 65 million years.

I hate break ups Especially when they tell you things like, "It's not you it's me","I just need some space", "We can still be cousins."

My first dad joke as a new father Fiance: "What's the difference between a carousel and a merry go round?"

Me: "I don't know but they have their ups and downs"

...it begins

I tried to do an intense workout that involved 500 sit ups per day But my body couldn't take the ab use

Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.

How many Push-Ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them

Why is it best to ship boxes using a UPS truck? The DOWNS truck is a little slow.

Life is like a basketball... It has its ups and downs and is controlled by people that are taller and make more money than you.

called UPS in Germany today to ask when they were shipping my Oculus Rift they said "VR ready"

I just got a new job as an elevator engineer It has its ups and downs

UPS delivery girl About 15 minutes ago, a UPS delivery girl came up to the door, saying that my dad has a huge package.

I told my mom, and she's upset.

I called German UPS to ask them when they would ship my Rift.. They said, "VR ready."

My wife asked me if I like sunrises or sunsets better. I said, They both have their ups and downs

FedEx and UPS tried working together once Didn't last long as they became FedUp.

My UPS guy always tells the best jokes It's all in the delivery

My new personal trainer encouraged me to do do fifteen push-ups every commercial break on TV Man... I love Netflix!

What langue do UPS men speak? Parcel Tongue

*For Harry Potter fans* What language do UPS men at Hogwarts speak? Parcel-tongue

My friend at the UPS really wants to be a comedian.. ... but he has a lot of work to do on his delivery

Rock climbing is not good for my mood swings. Too many ups and downs.

I do 10 sit ups every morning It might not sound like much, but there are only so many times you can hit the snooze button.

Dark humor is a lot like cancer Grown ups mainly get it but sometimes kids get it too.

I bought a new ladder this week... ...it has its ups and downs.

I've been reading a book about the shape of the mathematical functions of sine and cosine... It has its ups and downs...

I use to have a job working in an elevator... it had its ups and downs

There is going to be a merger between FedEx and UPS.. Yep, they're going to be called "FedUp"

After being forced to do sit ups for 4 hours straight The man died of ab-use

I was thinking about working in elevator maintenance I've heard the job has its ups and downs.

I don't know what to think of mountain-climbing. It has it's ups and downs.

What's the most encouraging calisthenic? Chin-ups!

In Germany the grown ups are kind... ...but the children are kinder.

Why did Mickey scare Goofy? To help him get rid of his hyuck-ups.

What did the over-sized transgender postcard say to the UPS driver? What don't you understand? I told you, I don't fit in a male box!

Stairways They have their ups and downs.

In the Elevator of life its not the ups and downs that get you Its the ***jerks*** along the way.

What do you call doing sit-ups in the comfort of your own home? Domestic ab use.