Ups Jokes

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Funniest Ups Jokes

called the UPS office in Germany to ask if they were sending out my Oculus Rift they said VR ready

Score: 682

My computer won't stop crying and singing about break ups... That's the last time I buy A Dell.

Score: 101

George W. Bush challenged Arnold Schwarzenegger to a push-up contest. George W. Bush challenged Arnold Schwarzenegger to a push-up contest. Schwarzenegger did 910 push-ups. Bush won because he did 911.

Score: 89

Why can't t-rexs do push ups? Because they have been extinct for 65 million years.

Score: 67
Funny Ups Jokes
Score: 55

I hate break ups Especially when they tell you things like, "It's not you it's me","I just need some space", "We can still be cousins."

Score: 41

My first dad joke as a new father Fiance: "What's the difference between a carousel and a merry go round?"

Me: "I don't know but they have their ups and downs"

...it begins

Score: 33

I tried to do an intense workout that involved 500 sit ups per day But my body couldn't take the ab use

Score: 31

Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.

Score: 26

How many Push-Ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them

Score: 25

Why is it best to ship boxes using a UPS truck? The DOWNS truck is a little slow.

Score: 23

Life is like a basketball... It has its ups and downs and is controlled by people that are taller and make more money than you.

Score: 23

called UPS in Germany today to ask when they were shipping my Oculus Rift they said "VR ready"

Score: 23

I just got a new job as an elevator engineer It has its ups and downs

Score: 21

UPS delivery girl About 15 minutes ago, a UPS delivery girl came up to the door, saying that my dad has a huge package.

I told my mom, and she's upset.

Score: 20

I called German UPS to ask them when they would ship my Rift.. They said, "VR ready."

Score: 19

My wife asked me if I like sunrises or sunsets better. I said, They both have their ups and downs

Score: 16

FedEx and UPS tried working together once Didn't last long as they became FedUp.

Score: 15

My UPS guy always tells the best jokes It's all in the delivery

Score: 14

My new personal trainer encouraged me to do do fifteen push-ups every commercial break on TV Man... I love Netflix!

Score: 12

What langue do UPS men speak? Parcel Tongue

Score: 12

*For Harry Potter fans* What language do UPS men at Hogwarts speak? Parcel-tongue

Score: 11

My friend at the UPS really wants to be a comedian.. ... but he has a lot of work to do on his delivery

Score: 11

Rock climbing is not good for my mood swings. Too many ups and downs.

Score: 11

I do 10 sit ups every morning It might not sound like much, but there are only so many times you can hit the snooze button.

Score: 10

Dark humor is a lot like cancer Grown ups mainly get it but sometimes kids get it too.

Score: 9

I bought a new ladder this week... ...it has its ups and downs.

Score: 9

I've been reading a book about the shape of the mathematical functions of sine and cosine... It has its ups and downs...

Score: 9

I use to have a job working in an elevator... it had its ups and downs

Score: 8

There is going to be a merger between FedEx and UPS.. Yep, they're going to be called "FedUp"

Score: 7

After being forced to do sit ups for 4 hours straight The man died of ab-use

Score: 5

I was thinking about working in elevator maintenance I've heard the job has its ups and downs.

Score: 5

I don't know what to think of mountain-climbing. It has it's ups and downs.

Score: 4

What's the most encouraging calisthenic? Chin-ups!

Score: 4

In Germany the grown ups are kind... ...but the children are kinder.

Score: 4

Why did Mickey scare Goofy? To help him get rid of his hyuck-ups.

Score: 3

What did the over-sized transgender postcard say to the UPS driver? What don't you understand? I told you, I don't fit in a male box!

Score: 3

Stairways They have their ups and downs.

Score: 3

In the Elevator of life its not the ups and downs that get you Its the ***jerks*** along the way.

Score: 3

What do you call doing sit-ups in the comfort of your own home? Domestic ab use.

Score: 3

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New Ups Jokes

Did you hear the news? FedEx & UPS are going to merge. From now on they’ll go by the name Fed-Up

Score: 0

Fibonacci is so inspirational. Thanks to him I did 89 push ups in 10 seconds.

Score: 1

George Bush jnr had a couple of books published about his 'slip ups' known as 'Bushisms'... They are clearing entire forests in preparation for enough paper to print the Trump trilogy.

Score: 2

Did you hear that the unions for Bridgestone, FedEx, and UPS are pushing for a merger? They wanted to be rebranded as The Local Tired and FedUp.

Score: 2

Women are like roller coasters Women are like roller coasters, they have their ups and downs but in the end you always finish riding way to early.

Score: 1

I do 5 sit-ups every morning... It doesn't sound like much, but there's only so many time you can hit the Snooze button.

Score: 2

Excuse me, do you work for UPS? Because I swear I saw you checking out my package.

Score: 2

Elevator music is anticlimactic But it has it's ups and downs.

Score: 1

Who goes dig dong ditching more than anyone? The UPS man.

Score: 0

She asked if I liked my job after I told her I'm a roller coaster mechanic... "It has its ups and downs," I said.

Score: 1

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