Useless Jokes

eBay is so useless I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 18,061 matches

eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters, but all they had was 13,239 matches.

eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 93,934 matches.

I bet you can't name a useless, non functioning member of society. My parents did.

My mother used to say the way to a mans heart is through his stomach. Lovely woman. Useless surgeon.

Depression/suicide jokes are basically yo mama jokes of our generation — they're lazy, unfunny and useless Just like me

As a man, I've renamed my nipples Thoughts and Prayers. ...because they're useless.

"Can someone give an example of things that are useless?" The teacher asked. Me: *raises hand*

Teacher: Very good. Any other examples?

My mother always used to say, "The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!" Lovely woman... ...useless surgeon.

What do the NBA and a box of crayons have in common? The whites are useless.

I tried changing my password to "Twilight". It said "Error: contains too many useless characters"

Tried to change my password to Twilight... ...but got an error message saying please re-enter as this contains too many useless characters :(

Fidget spinners are useless Says the generation that bought 1.5 million pet rocks.

eBay is useless I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 42,810 matches.

eBay is so useless.. I tried to find a lighter and they had only 45324 matches...

Google is useless... I tried looking up lighters and all they had was 48,200,000 matches.

Just tried to change my password to.. Just tried to change my password to.. 'The_Last_Jedi,' but Facebook wouldn't let me. Said there are too many useless characters.

Google is useless I tried looking up lighters and all they had was 69,000,000 matches.

What's more useless than a Gender Studies degree? the feminist holding it

Orion's belt is useless, its just a Big waist of space

I've been researching some useless facts... Want some examples?
I have found out that there are over 10,000 different types of lice.

And that's just off the top of my head.

Remember…you are not completely useless. You can always serve as a bad example.

My wife always says the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach… Lovely woman.

Useless surgeon.

My high school guidance counselor told me I'll always be useless So I became a guidance counselor.

Ebay is so useless I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 20,142 matches

What's the difference between a useless golfer and a useless skydiver? The home golfer goes WHACK! "Oh no!" Whereas with the skydiver it's vice versa

Me: Dad, How did you guys manage without Whatsapp & Facebook? My Dad: We used to keep useless information to ourselves.

A critic goes to an art gallery and finds the artist of the pieces there. Critic: "Would you like to know what I think of your art?"
Artist: "Oh, yes please"
Critic: "It's useless"
Artist: "I know, but I would still like to hear it. "

eBay is so useless. I tried to buy a lighter, but all they had was 13,749 matches.

What does the NBA and a box of crayons have in common? The whites are useless.

What's the most useless shape? A circle. It's pointless.

You're as useless as... Anne Frank's drumset

I tried to teach my dog to dance today. It was useless. He’s got two left feet.

What do you call a Paper Clip that is not used for paper? Useless.

If you ever feel useless Remember the guys who work at BMW to install the turn signals

eBay is useless... ...I wanted lighters but all they had were 31,415 matches.

If you think that your job is useless and does not make any difference in the world, consider that there are people out there making turn signals for BMW.

French public toilets were useless in the war Always occupied

How do you get a lot of useless internet points? You make something up

Note: my 6 y/o daughter came up with this please be kind!