Vegas Jokes

Do you know what Sin City is? Person 1: Do you know what Sin City is?


Person 2: Las Vegas


Person 1: Do you know what the Windy City is?


Person 2: Chicago


Person 1: Do you know what Den City is?


Person 2: ...


Person 1: Mass over volume

A physicist was in Las Vegas Tour guide: Las Vegas is also known as Sin City.

Physicist: Do you know what Den City is though?

Tour guide: No, I don't know.

Physicist: Mass over volume.

I'll see myself out.

Why did the Dalai Lama visit Las Vegas? Tibet

How do you leave Vegas with 1 million? Come with 2 million

I just spent two weeks in Vegas looking for my wife's killer... but no one would do it.

Guys Trip to Vegas My wife asked me after our guys trip to Vegas if I had thought of her while I was there. Apparently, "only to keep from coming too soon" was not a very good answer.

I bought a second hand deck of cards from a casino in Las Vegas, but after 4 weeks they hadn't arrived. When I asked for an update, they said they were still dealing with my order.

If there's ever a zombie apocalypse, I really hope it starts in Vegas Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

"Do you know what sin city is?" "Yeah, that's Las Vegas"

"But do you know what Den City is"

"No"

"Mass over volume"

Deer 1 notices Deer 2 is feeling sad Deer 1: what’s wrong

Deer 2: well my wife went to Vegas, and blew 50 bucks

My Vietnamese roommate is moving to Vegas (giving me a place to crash in Vegas), and leaving behind a full bedroom set for free... This is a real Nguyen-Nguyen situation for me.

A girl gets fired from her job with a Vegas outcall massage service Seems she rubbed too many guys the wrong way.

The Stanley Cup final will feature a morally bankrupt city, that is built on corruption, greed, and deceit... Against Las Vegas.

How do you win a small fortune in Las Vegas? By spending a large fortune.

Pacquiao wanted the fight to take place in the Philippines, but Mayweather insisted on Las Vegas. I guess he likes his venues just like he likes his violence...Domestic.

What's the similarities between Las Vegas and Manchester? You can pay for the prostitutes using chips

I drove to Vegas in a $25,000 Chevy and came home in a $250,000 vehicle A greyhound bus.

Two stoned cows What do you call two stoned cows in Las Vegas?

High steaks.

What fruit can't get married in Vegas? Cantaloupe.

I went to this cool new restaurant in Vegas, the server woman came out nude with the menu painted all over her body. She asked if I was ready to order, I said “ I know what I want, but I just can’t put my finger on it.”

I drove to Vegas in a $150,000 Porsche Came home in an $800,000 bus.

Two Melons Fall In Love The guy says, “I love you so much, my sweet little honey dew. I don’t want to wait. Let’s run away to Vegas together.”

The girl replies, “No, baby. I cantaloupe.”

I wish the corona started in Las Vegas because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Everyone knows that Las Vegas is Sin City. But do you know what is Den City? p = m/V


mass/volume

After years of gambling, an unlucky gambler finally figures out the way to leave Las Vegas with a small fortune. He goes to Las Vegas with a large fortune.

The reason Nevada doesn’t have any election results yet is If you count in Vegas, you get kicked out

Why don't casinos in Las Vegas hire girls from California? Because they, like, can't even deal.

If what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas... Then why do I still have chlamydia?

A teacher says to a boy: "Answer one question i'm gonna give you and you can go home." Boy :"Ok."
Teacher:"What state is Las Vegas located in?"
Boy:"That state"
Teacher:"What state exactly?"
Boy:"Woah, that's already the second question."

Forget covid—it's OK to open Vegas back up. Because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

I can't trust my heart or my brain to tell me who the next President will be But I can trust my Vegas bookie and will be talking to him in October

I went to a family reunion in Nevada. Turns out what happens in Vegas... Is executable back in Texas.

Vegas Disappointment I came back from Vegas and my buddy asked me how it was. I said, "You know those places with the signs that say 'All nude inside'?" He nodded. I said, "Apparently, that's only if you work there."

A Las Vegas joke Criss Angel

It's happening in Las Vegas and it's happening after the queen of England has taken a dump. It's a Royal straight flush.

After a long illness, my father passed away yesterday in Las Vegas. He’s in a bettor place.

In a post-apocalyptic world 4 cities combine into one This city was a combination of Los Angeles, Orlando, Vegas, and Eureka Springs. If someone breaks the law in this super city they tell them to stop...in the name of L.O.V.E.

Me : Heard of Sin City? GF : Las Vegas, right?

Me : Yeap, hw about Den City?

GF : What?

Me : Mass / Volume

Why are slot machines bad luck? Because you can't gamble with your life in Las Vegas.