What Am I Jokes

I'm a fruit. If you take away my first letter, I'm a body part. If you take away my first and last letter, I suck. What am I? pear

I am broken when my name is spoken. What am I? McDonald’s ice cream machine

Wife: "I'm fat, old and ugly, what am I?" Husband: "Right"

I have 3 eyes, 5 legs and 6 arms, what am I ? A liar

I have 6 eyes, 3 ears, 2 mouths, but one tooth. What am I? Ugly.

I have 2 heads, 5 arms, 372 legs, and 6684324 eyes. What am I? A liar

My girlfriend's dog died so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one. She was livid. “What am I going to do with two dead dogs?”

I have 600 legs, 30 arms, a pair of wings, and 1000 eyes. What am I? A liar.

"What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket, Officer?" "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."

I have 7 legs, 5 eyes, and 9 arms. What am I? A liar

I blow, but I don't swallow. I whip, but don't do chains. Some watch me and feel proud, while others feel ashamed. What am I? I am a flag.

When I get heavier, I am actually easier to pick up. What am I? A woman

I am the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end, And the end of every place. What am I? The letter 'e'.

Wife asked me what am I doing Me: Killing Mosquitos
Wife: How many have you killed?

Me: Total 5. 2 Female and 3 Male
Wife: How did you know their gender?

Me: Three were near my beer bottle and two near my wallet

I have six eyes, two mouths, and three ears. What am I? Ugly

Forwards I am heavy, backwards I am not; What am I? The answer is "ton".

I have the head of a watermelon, the arms of two French baguettes, the chest of two pillows. What am I? Banned from the supermarket.

What am I supposed to do with this? "What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket. "Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get a bicycle."

I make you wet and naked people turn me on. What am I? A shower

I am the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end, and the end of every place. What am I? 2.71828183

Q) I have ten arms, eight legs and 22 feet. what am I? A) A liar.

I have 3 eyes , 2 noses and a mouth. What am i ? Ugly.

Enter through one, exit through three. Once you succeed I am on thee. What am I? A shirt.

I have 3 heads, 4 legs, 6 hands and 416 fingers, what am I? A liar.

I have 3 legs, 5 arms, 7 eyes and 19 belly buttons. What am I? A liar.

I got pulled over for speeding today and as the officer was handing me my ticket, I sarcastically asked, "What am I supposed to do with this!?" He chuckled, "Just hold on to it and when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."

I have 6 eyes, 4 ears, 2 mouths what am I Ugly.

I have 2 eyes and can't see, but millions of eyes on me. What am I? NFL Referee

I have four eyes, three ears and two noses. What am I? Ugly.

I’m hard and hairy on the outside but soft and wet on the inside. My name begins with “c”, ends in “t”, and there’s a “u” and “n” in between them. What am i? A coconut.

I am a word. I begin with F and end with UCK. What am I? I already told you, I'm a word.

I have no home button. ..and I work at your place.

You can call me and I know your face.

I cost $1000 although some think me a waste.

What am I ?


That's right. A high class hooker.

I’m starting a YouTube channel about my fixation with lizards and snakes. What am I going to call it? A Reptile Dysfunction

I go in hard, I come out soft, you blow me hard, what am I? bubblegum.

I go in hard, come out soft, and you blow me hard. What am I? Bubble Gum

I hate restaurants that have quirky and confusing ways of displaying men and woman bathroom signs. I mean, what am I?!? Am I a kitchen or an exit?

Every man has one of me, though i differ in length. Their wives use me after marriage. What am I? Last name.

When I was a little kid, I used to look up to my father. What am I supposed to do? Look down? He was a meter taller than me!

I have 6 eyes, 2 mouths, and 3 ears. What am I? Ugly