Hilarious Wooden Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Wooden Jokes

What will happen if you have a wooden car with wooden engine and wooden wheels? It wooden start.

Score: 1002

What happened with the wooden car with wooden wheels, wooden seats, and a wooden engine? It wooden go.

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You can't hang a man with a wooden leg, You need a rope.

Score: 322

I bought a wooden whistle ...but it wooden whistle.

So I bought a steel whistle. And it steel wooden whistle.

Then I bought a lead whistle. It steel wooden lead me whistle.

Finally, I bought a tin whistle. Now I can whistle.

Score: 233

Before surgery, my anaesthetist offered me a couple of different options. He could either knock me out with gas, or he could do it with a large wooden boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation.

Score: 222

I think my friend is a vampire I stabbed him in the heart with a wooden stake and he died

Score: 133

I killed a vampire last Halloween ...or a kid. Either way, the wooden stake worked.

Score: 112

Why does a surfing tree not drown? Because it wears Wooden Trunks!

Score: 78

My friend hasn't spoken to me since I accused him of stealing some wooden panels. I think he took a fence.

Score: 77

Whistles I bought a wooden whistle...
But it wooden whistle

So I bought a steel whistle...
But it steel wooden whistle

Then I bought a lead whistle...
But it steel wooden lead me whistle!

Score: 71

A Woody Joke What wood happen if you had a Wooden Car

With Wooden Seats

Wooden Tires

And A Wooden Engine?

It Wooden't Start

Score: 70

Did you hear about the wooden car with the wooden engine, the wooden doors and the wooden chassis? It wooden go.

Score: 69

Did you hear the one about the wooden car? With the wooden wheels? And the wooden engine? .... it wooden work

Score: 60

Have you heard of the wooden car? It has a wooden steering wheel, wooden seats, wooden engine, and it wooden go

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If you had a wooden car with a wooden engine and wooden tires It woodent work

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Sean Connery was arranging the books in his personal library when the wooden plank gave away and all the books fell on him.. His maid rushed to the scene and asked " are you alright, sir ?"

Sean : "it'sh ok..I only have my shelf to blame ."

Score: 47

What kind of shoes do they wear in Holland? Wooden shoe like me to tell you.

[Props to my 8-year-old daughter for this one]

Score: 46

I used to be engaged to a girl with a wooden leg. \>!But I broke it off!<

Score: 36

I like my wine like I like my women. 10 years old and locked in a wooden crate in my basement.

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I had a wooden whistle... And it wooden whistle. So, I got a steel whistle and it steel wooden whistle. Finally I got a tin whistle, now I tin whistle.

Score: 34

I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle.

So I bought a steel whistle.
But it steel wooden whistle.

Then I bought a lead whistle.
But it steel wooden lead me whistle.

Score: 30

Did you hear about the wooden car with the wooden engine and wooden wheels? It wooden move.

Score: 24

Did you hear about the girl who was dating the guy with the wooden leg? She broke it off

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I don't think a wooden structure is capable of holding up my books. I have low shelf-confidence.

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I once met a woman with wooden breast implants This joke would be funny with a punchline, wouldn't it?

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What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer? Shiver me timbers!

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I bought a wooden whistle BUT IT WOODEN WHISTLE

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Did you hear about that new car made entirely from wood? It's crazy! Wooden wheels, wooden windows, wooden engine... Wooden move.

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How did pinocchio find out he was a wooden boy? His hand caught fire.

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What do Princess Diana and Champagne have in common? Both come from France in a wooden box.

Score: 10

I would hate to have to wear dutch clogs, wooden shoe?

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What do yo call someone who has pictures of little wooden boys? A Gepetto-phile.

Score: 10

What secret organization does Pinnochio work for? Wooden you like to know?

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There is this old wooden pillar in my town where all of the homeless people defecate. We call it... shitpost

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At a disfigured children's ball... A boy with a wooden eye goes up to a girl with a harelip and asks her to dance.

"Oh boy, would I!"

The boy walks off in a huff and screams, "Sorry I'm not good enough for you, girl harelip!"

Score: 3

What did the company that makes wooden counters say to their client? "We stand behind our product"

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I tried to flush a wooden shoe down my toilet. It got clogged.

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I would like to go to Holland one day Wooden shoe?

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My neighbor was a vampire When I stabbed her in the heart with a wooden stake, she died.

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New Wooden Jokes

Burt and Ernie started a restoration company where they sand down old wooden antiques It was called Bernie Sanders

Get out and vote

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I successfully put up a wooden shelf I finally nailed it

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Do you want to hear a joke about wooden hammers? You be the judge.

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Why are hand-carved sheep so interesting? Wooden ewe like to know.

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Dad Joke: How do you hang a man with a wooden leg? .
.
.
You can't, you need a rope

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A man with two wooden legs had his house lit on fire The firefighters were able to save the house but unfortunately the man was burnt to the ground. He tried to call the insurance company in the morning but...he didn’t have a leg to stand on

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So this is how my day went... I woke up went to the store and bought a wooden turtle, then someone threw a hamburger at me, now I'm at home feeding my dog. So in conclusion I bought knick knack, got a patty wack, and gave my dog a bone.

Score: 2

Why are trees so bad at customer service? It's their wooden demeanor.

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A man with a wooden leg walks into a bar The bartender says " I was once engaged to a girl with a wooden leg"

The man replied " Oh yeah, What happened? "

The bartender says " I had to break it off"

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What do Princess Diana and champagne have in common? They both came from France in a wooden box.

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There once was a man with a wooden leg named Steve Why Steve carried a wooden leg with him everywhere he went will remain a mystery, creep.

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My toilet got completely clogged... Wooden shoe know it!

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What do you call a woman with a wooden leg? Peggy

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I once met a man with a wooden leg named Smith I asked what the name of his other leg was.

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What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and a wooden engine? It wooden go.

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What's the difference between someone who makes wooden furniture and someone who does paint jobs? One is a carpenter and one is a car painter

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wooden leg named smith My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
So I asked him "What was the name of his other leg?"

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Just say No I spent today grinding down the latch from the little wooden door that leads into my garden, then tried smoking the resultant powder only to find that it had zero effect on me - so much for these gateway drugs...

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