Hilarious Word Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Word Jokes

A man in an interrogation room says “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present.” Cop: You are the lawyer.

Lawyer: Exactly, so where’s my present?

Score: 26303

White people are always annoyed that only black people can say the n word, but white people have some phrases only they can say too Things like “Hi Dad!” and “Thanks for the warning, officer.”

Score: 17572

A man was arrested and taken to an interrogation room He says to the police officer, "I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present."

"You are the lawyer," says the policeman.

"Exactly, so where's my present?"

Score: 17212

Prison may be just one word But to others, it's a whole sentence

Edit: I fell asleep after posting this and woke up seeing it on the front page, thanks guys!

Score: 13945

I just discovered that the word 'nothing' is a palindrome... Backwards it spells 'gnihton', which also means nothing.

Score: 13507

At a funeral Me: "Do you mind if I say a word?"
Widow: "Please do."
Me: *clears throat* "Plethora."
Widow: "Thank you. That means a lot."

Score: 11619

I don’t understand why white people can’t say the N word We invented it after all

Score: 10537

Me: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present Cop: You ARE the lawyer

Me: So where's my present?!

Score: 9530

Which word has 6 letters, starts with an N and ends with an R and is related to a Race NASCAR

Score: 7415

TIL "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound. At least, I'm pretty sure...it's correct

Score: 6910

A man goes to a funeral and asks the widow: "Mind if I say a word?"

She says: "Please do."

The man clears his throat and says: "Plethora."

The widow replies: "Thanks, that means a lot."

Score: 5016

A man in an interrogation room says, “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present!" The cop growls, "You are the lawyer!" The lawyer shrieks, "Exactly! So where’s my present

Score: 3371

Score: 3359

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.

Score: 2932

Everyone keeps making fun of me because I don’t know what the word “apocalypse” means Honestly, I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s not the end of the world.

Score: 2632

I don’t like the word xenophobia. It sounds so foreign.

Score: 2606

The word 'nothing' is a palindrome. 'Nothing' reversed is 'Gnihton' which also means nothing

Score: 2547

I invented a new word. Plagiarism.

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EDIT : This joke was invented by me and copyrighted. Dare to take it and a lawsuit shall find you.

Score: 2157

The cast of Star Wars VII just finished their first read through (spoilers) Mark Hamill pulled JJ Abrams to the side and said "Can I have a word?"

Score: 2135

Thanks for explaining the word ”many” to me. It means a lot

Score: 2085

Edgar Allen Poe is about to walk into a tree and you only have enough time to say one word before he hits it. What should you say to him? Poetry!

Score: 1990

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband’s funeral. A man asks “do you mind if I say a word” “no, go right ahead” the woman replies. The man stands, clears his throat, says... “Plethora”, and sits back down.

“Thanks”, the woman says, “that means a lot”

Score: 1923

What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two, and now it's a really touchy subject.

Edit: I am can't word goodly.

Score: 1829

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you.. You have my Word.

Score: 1813

My wife: You didn't hear a word I said, did you? Me: That's a weird way to start a conversation.

Score: 1712

This girl said she would go out with me if I knew a six letter word that's a synonym for "calm". I said, "It's sedate."

Score: 1620

Whoever stole my Microsoft Office, I'm coming after you... You have my word

Score: 1528

All of my friends told me that 'icy' is the easiest word to spell. And after looking at it... **I see why.**

Score: 1491

I just invented a new word: plagiarism.

Score: 1432

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks',
meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.

Score: 1368

Today, I invented a new word. "plagiarism"

Score: 539

Face is a four letter word. But preface is a foreword letter.

Score: 496

Just found out that 'aaaaarrrrggghhhh' isn't a real word I can't tell you how angry I am

Score: 492

My wife just screamed at me, “You haven’t been listening to a single word I’ve said!” What a weird way to start a conversation

Score: 392

In an argument, a woman always has the last word. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Score: 382

Just found out that ‘Aaarrrrggghhh’ is not a real word. I can’t even tell you how angry I am.

Score: 317

What word starts with M and ends in arraige and is a man's favourite thing? Miscarriage.

This joke never gets old, just like the baby.

Score: 302

What do you get when you combine insomnia, dyslexia and agnosticism? Someone who lies awake at night, wondering if there is a dog.

Edit: A word

Score: 298

Whoever stole my Microsoft Office, I will find you... You have my Word.

Score: 271

prison may be just one word to you but to others, it's a whole sentence

Score: 264

New Word Jokes

What does killing a black person and saying the n-word have in common? Black people do it all the time, but get mad when a white person does it.

Score: 21

My friend told me the word "gullible" is not in any dictionaries I went to check and it was. I don't know why he said that.

Score: 17

As a married man, I always get the last word in a conversation or argument with my wife. Those words are usually, "Yes dear."

Score: 16

I regret naming my daughter Alexa because of the popularity of the Amazon Echo. So we decided to change her name to something that will never be a popular word. We're trying to pick between Cortana and Bixby

Score: 29

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will hunt you and I will find you You have my word.

Score: 117

This happened at a meeting with my boss: Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?

Me: I Excel at it!

Boss: Was that a Microsoft Office pun?

Me: Word.

Score: 24

I'm still using Office 2010 ... For lack of a better Word ...

Score: 155

Want to hear a word I just made? Plagiarism

Score: 215

I’ve spent the day in a German police station. Word to the wise… Don’t go hailing a taxi in Germany like you do in other countries.

Score: 18

Remember, marriage isn't simply a word: It's a sentence.

Score: 18

What's the most searched word on Bing? Google

Score: 235

Punny If the word ‘tomb’ is pronounced ‘toom’, and ‘womb’ is pronounced ‘woom’, shouldn’t ‘bomb’ be pronounced ‘boom’

Score: 15

The magic word Daughter: Dad, do I get a new Iphone?
Dad: What's the magic word?
Daughter: Larissa!
Dad: Larissa??
Daughter: yes, your affair!
Dad: Do you want a cover with your Iphone too?

Score: 25

"Indecisive" is my favourite word. Actually, no it isn't.

Score: 20

If I had to use one word to describe myself, it would be Bad at following instructions.

Score: 15

A Scrabble game got dumped all over the interstate highway. That's the word on the street at least.

Score: 103

At the spelling bee Judge: Your word is "there."

Me: In a sentence please.

Judge: They're parking their car over there.

Score: 191

What is a word that starts with W. Correct.

Score: 22

To the man who stole my Microsoft Office, I'm going to find you..... ....you have my WORD.

Score: 35

Can't get pregnant Stacy: I have to be very careful, i just can't get pregnant now.

Tiffany: Didn't your husband get a vasectomy?

Stacy: Exactly!

Edit: a word

Score: 18

Microsoft Boss : How good are you at making spreadsheet?

Me : I excel at it

Boss : Was that a Microsoft office pun?

Me : word

Score: 76

Thanks for explaining the word "abundant" to me. It means a lot.

Score: 70

Sure white people can't say the n-word. But at least we can say things like "Hey, Dad" or "Thanks for the warning, Officer."

Score: 95

To the software thieves who robbed me last night. Don't think you can get away with taking Microsoft Office away from me. I will find you. You have my Word.

Score: 33

Just want to thank you for explaining the word 'many' to me. It means a lot.

Score: 15

Face is a four letter word… But preface is a foreword letter…

Score: 201

Hey guys I made up a new word! Plagiarism

Score: 22

"Your next spelling word is: beheaded." Can you use it in a sentence please?

"Sure, Kathy Griffin beheaded to the unemployment office."

Score: 146

What's the only word in the English language that is both a word and a sentence? Marriage.

Score: 27

I used to use the word Alternative in sentences a lot... But then I learned it meant something different.

Score: 17

I made up a new word today. Plagiarism.

Score: 32

I was asked to submit a 1,000 word essay.. So I just submitted a picture instead.

Score: 166

A comedian was getting attacked for his routine being too sexist So, he replaced the word "women" with "white, rich, republican women". The audience stopped complaining.

Score: 45

"Dad, how did you come up with my brother's name, 'Legab'?" "Is it a variation of 'Gabriel' or something?"

"Ah... no sweetie. As you know, your Mom loves bagels so we decided to play with that word".

"Oh... ok. Thanks, Dad!"

"You're welcome, Lana".

Score: 40

Teacher: "Use the word dandelion in a sentence" Student: "De cheetah is faster dandelion"

Score: 126

What's an asymmetrical word, which means the same when spelt backwards? - Nothing

Score: 18

The word queue does't have 4 silent letters... They are just waiting their turn.

EDIT
oh haha didN't realise this got so many upvotes thanks guys :D is there a way to edit the title for the spelling error?

Score: 157

Being white, I can't say the N-word. But I can say things like, "Thanks for the warning, Officer" and "Hi, Dad."

Score: 41

These new editions of dictionaries are frustrating Picked up a new copy and flipped through it to find a word I knew disappeared.

The next thing I found was disappointing

Score: 16

I used to own a Raven in Boston It could speak English, but the only word it knew was "Car"

Score: 15

Boss: How good are you with spreadsheets? Me: I Excel at it.

Boss: Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun?

Me: Word

Score: 19

I really love the word "earth" It means the world to me.

Score: 172

What's the Russian word for no Wi-Fi? Interniet

Score: 153

I always say good night to my microwave every morning I'm in a very different timezone that those agents in Washington DC.

EDIT:wrong word

Score: 50

I greeted the mailman at the door naked He freaked out. Not so much because of my appearance, more because I knew where he lived.

Edit: a word

Score: 228

The problem with Bill Clinton Is that he never learned harass was one word.

Score: 23

A English teacher says to a African student.. "okay you're doing really good with your English, I would like you to use the word dandelion in a sentence" the student replies "ohh that is easy, The giraffe, is bigger, dan de lion"

Score: 14

To whomever stole my copy of Microsoft Word... I will find you. You have my Word.

Score: 25

Sugar is the only word in English language in which "Su" is pronounced as "Shu". I am pretty sure about it.

Score: 37

Whats a word that white people can call white people but black people cannot call black people? Dad.

Score: 16

I may not be able to use by the "N" word... But at least I can say things like "Hey Dad", and "Thanks for the warning Officer!".

Score: 114

The comedian made an entire audience laugh without speaking a single word No joke

Score: 42

I haven't said a word to my wife in years. She hates to be interrupted...

Score: 19

I've finally understood the meaning of "politics" It's derived from "poly", the Greek word for "many", and "tics", a blood sucking parasite.

Score: 15

How do you get a little old lady to say the f* word? Get another old lady to say "BINGO!"

Score: 34

Romeo & Juliet.doc... ...is a play on Word.

Score: 172

Did you hear that Microsoft is giving away Office to parents? Word to your mother.

Score: 51

How do you get a little old lady to say the "F" word? Yell bingo.

Score: 27

I don't think we should be to worried if Trump gets elected Politicians never keep their word

Score: 34

What's a word that starts with "N" that you don't want to call a black person? Neighbor

Score: 31