Your Face Jokes

Contents

Funniest Your Face Jokes

Ladies: A guide to understanding what guys say... * If a guy says you're hot, he's looking at your body.
* If a guy says you're pretty, he's looking at your face.
* If a guy says you're fabulous, he's looking at your brother.

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Water can solve all your issues. Want to lose weight? Drink water. Need to wake up? Splash water on your face. Someone annoying you? Drown them.

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Funny Your Face Jokes
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Why is your nose in middle of your face? Because it's the scenter.

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If a guy says you're hot, he's looking at your body. If he says you're pretty, he's looking at your face... If he says you're fabulous, he's looking at your brother

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Women's Guide To Understanding Men If a guy says to you, "You're cute" - he's looking at your face.

If a guy says to you, "You're hot" - he's looking at your body.

If a guy says to you, "You're fabulous" - he's looking at your brother.

Score: 120

Some people are like slinkies They don't really have a purpose but it still brings a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs

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Why is your nose in the middle of your face? It's the scenter.

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What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a Zit? A zit will wait till your twelve years old to come on your face.

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Whats the difference between a pimple and a priest? A pimple waits until you're 12 to come on your face

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What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you're twelve before it comes on your face

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What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits til you hit puberty to come all over your face.

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Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it’s the scenter

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Some people are like a slinky. Not good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and a pimple? A pimple waits until puberty to come on your face

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What's the difference between a preacher and pimples? Pimples come on your face AFTER puberty!

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water can solve all your problems, want to lose weight, drink mor water, want to wake up, splash want water on your face, someone getting on your nerves, drown them

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Anyone can bring a smile to your face Especially when you push them down the stairs

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I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and zits? Zits wait until you're at least 12 to come on your face.

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Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because its the scenter.

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Why is the nose in the middle of your face? Because it's the in the scenter.

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What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face

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Whats the difference between a priest and a pimple? A pimple doesn't come on your face till you're a teenager.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because your face is fcuked up

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Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.

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Why is the nose locates in the middle of your face? Because it's in the scenter

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Would a hurricane close it's doors in your face? No, but a Lakewood.

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What is the difference between a pimple and a priest ? The pimple waits until you are twelve to come on your face.

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How can you tell when you have really bad acne? When blind people start trying to read your face.

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Roses are Red Roses are Red, Violets are Blue
Pornhube is down
Your Facebook will do

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Your face is like the sun It burns my eyes

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What's the difference between a pimple and a priest? One waits untill you're 12 to come on your face.

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My daughter asked me, "Dad, why is your nose in the middle of your face?" I smirked and replied, "Because it's the scenter."

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My sister got set up for a blind date My dad said "Thank goodness he's blind, that way he doesn't have to see your face!"

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Your face is kinda similar to a planet... ''Oh yeah, Which one?''

''Uranus''

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That music store downtown called Hot Jazz in Your Face closed People just stopped coming

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What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that gets right up in your face? Too close for comfort food.

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Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it's your scenter.

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People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world!

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New Your Face Jokes

Mix Tabasco sauce with your hand sanitiser It won't make it any more effective, but it will remind you not to touch your face and eyes.

Score: 4

What do you call baking soda when someone throws it in your face? A salt!

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Santa saw your Facebook posts this year. He’s gonna give you a dictionary.

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Whether she kicks you in the groin or sits on your face... Taint gonna happen either way.

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Why is the nose in the middle of your face? Because its the scenter

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What do a priest and acne have in common? Both come on your face during your teens

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How do you know when you have a really bad casase of acne? When the blind start trying to read your face

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How do you avoid bats flying into your face? Don't go to baseball games.

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What kind of pasta should you NEVER put on your face? Ziti!

(This might be a repost, but my mom just thought of it and I thought it was hilarious 😘)

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Instructions how to make money with your Facebook account: 1. Open settings

2. Delete your account

3. Start working

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If you think your life is bad imagine being an egg You only get laid once, smashed once and the only bird that sits on your face is your Mum

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If your hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer At least we know the president is safe!

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How can you tell your acne is really starting to get out of hand? The blind start reading your face.

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I have no home button. ..and I work at your place.

You can call me and I know your face.

I cost $1000 although some think me a waste.

What am I ?


That's right. A high class hooker.

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My wife just came in and said "I don't know if I'm coming or going." I said to her, "Judging by the look on your face you're going, because when you're coming you look like a squirrel trying to whistle!”

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Wife to husband: “Honey, guess who’s not wearing any panties and bra today?” Husband, “Ah, that’s why your face looks so stretched today!”

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How do you face your problem when your problem is your face?

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iPhone X has facial recognition. It'll look at your face & tell you that you can't afford it.

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How do you know when you have really bad acne? The blind can read your face.

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Dammmn girl, did you fall from heaven? Because your face is wrecked.

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"How can you tell your acne is really starting to get out of hand? When the blind start reading your face

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What's the difference between a zit and a priest? The zit waits until you're 12 before it comes on your face.

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What's the difference between a pimple and a priest? A pimple waits until you're 12 before it comes on your face..

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How are airbags and feminists similar? When triggered, both explode right in your face.

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What's the difference between a pimple and a priest? The pimple waits until your 13 to come on your face.

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What is the difference between a Catholic Priest and a Zit? The zit waits until you're 12 before it comes on your face.

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TIL if your hand is bigger than your face you have cancer This joke does not work very well over the phone.

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Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it is the scenter!

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Pacifism is a martial art. Its moves are designed to bruise the opponent's knuckles with your face.

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What's little,metal, and will ruin dinner A bullet in your face

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I tried to add your face to Mount Rushmore But I couldn't find a rock dumb enough

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How do you know when you have bad acne? When the blind try to read your face.

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What's better than having a garbanzo bean on your face? Having a chickpea on your face.

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Do you know the difference between acne and a Catholic Priest? Acne waits until after puberty to come on your face

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Why is your nose in the middle of your face? It's the scentor.

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Buddy, those pills you're taking, are they for your face? No, they're for my low self esteem.. So you're not taking anything for your face?


(Courtesy of C&H)

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