All This Jokes

My friend has been a limo driver for 20 years and has never had a customer. All this time and nothing to Chauffeur it.

I'm not sure I believe all this stuff about genetically modified food being bad for you... I feel fine and I just had a really tasty leg of salmon...

With all this media coverage about the clowns... I'll be so glad when the election is over.

I think my wife is starting to get depressed with all this rain we’re getting. Everyday, I see her at the window with a sad look on her face. If it gets any worse I might have to let her back inside.

All this talk of trade wars... It’s just Tariffying

Wow I got all this for free today. iPhone, some weed, and $2 000 ... it’s like this gun is magic!

Even now, all this time later, we have to remain calm about the Net Neutrality thing... Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.

All this news about finding the Higgs Boson is so exciting... It's giving me a Hadron.

What do you call this? esgg

egsg

gseg

segg


Scrambled eggs.

My deaf-mute postman has such a tough job. He starts work at 3am. In summer he gets attacked by dogs and in winter he has to brave through sub-zero temperatures. But in spite of all this.... I’ve never heard him complain

With all this controversy about being friend zoned made me nervous,so one day I bent down and hugged my best friend and told her I love her,and she licked my face and wagged her tail!

And old timer is talking to a millennial and says, "Your generation is sure in trouble thanks to all this talk of computers taking all the jobs. Aren't you worried?" To which the millennial replied, What jobs?

I call this poem Old Women's Knickers Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Ethels are green

I think my wife might be secretly dealing drugs. There was a suspicious phone call this morning which I answered. A male voice asked "Has that dope gone yet?"

I'm getting really sick of all this hate for Donald Trump. It isn't nice to make fun of mentally ill people.

All this Spending on Black Friday Better make sure ya'll pay the electric bill first or next Friday will be Black Friday too

"What should we call this thing in the ocena that is land?" How about island?

"That seems too obvious"

What if we pronounced it weird

"Perfect"

Help! I'm stuck in this gas chamber. If I don't get out now I'll die from all this oxygen and nitrogen in 70 years!

I'm not worried about all this news of a third world war... ... I don't even live in Africa!

With all this talk of making Puerto Rico the 51st state, I think we should find 2 more to make 53. One nation, indivisible.

Oh my good and fellow Christians! It has been foretold our Lord and savior will once again rise from the dead and bless us all this Easter! April Fools!

All this talk about hoping 2020 ends! Even though its cursed, we can't let it defeat us. That would mean 2021.

I don't know why there has been all this hate lately about trophy hunting exotic animals... As a guy, on a couple of drunken nights I have slayed a few elephants... and a whale.

Why is there all this hate against necromancers? They are just trying to raise a family in peace.

What should we call this giant advertising board? Phil: We should call it a Philboard.
Bill: I have a better idea...

With all this negative talk about Africa I thought I would mention something positive about the people there... Their AIDS test results

I feel like with all this political stuff going on, its become popular with a lot of people to be angry all the time. Some might say its all the rage.

Quite frankly its the stores fault for all this looting.. ..they essentially painted a large Target on their forehead

I was kind enough to make you breakfast in bed. If I'm kind enough to wake you up with breakfast in bed, I don't need to be hearing all this, "how'd you get into my house?," nonsense.

With all this talk about gender politics lately I've decided to create my own political party. I call it the Pants Party, and you're invited!

What is all this #Brexit going around? When did Bromine decide to leave the periodic table?

Putting all this paper on the gifts I bought everyone this Christmas season made me realize something.. I'm almost a worse wrapper than Lil Wayne

With all this stuff about the Guardians of the Galaxy director being fired, the biggest surprise is seeing conservatives rally against a Gunn.

When I make you breakfast in bed, the least you can say is thank you. I mean what's with all this "how did you get in my house" nonsense?

There’s all this talk at work about some fire on an 850 year old building And I have Notre Dame clue what is going on!

With all this outrage over blackface I'm here to defend our Canadian Prime Minster as the most Canadian Prime Minister ever. I mean who else ever said I'm sorry so much over his double dark roast?

All this fuss over a film being stored on DNA But when Pee Wee Herman tried to do the opposite, everybody lost their minds?

All this time we thought Donald Trump would make the White House a skyscraper.... ...and it turns out he's just going to make a second one in Florida!

Hotels in Reykjavik are 300 dollars a night? Why can't we call this for what it is? Radical Icelandic Tourism