Artist Jokes

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Funniest Artist Jokes

R Kelly is really changing the rap game He takes the art out of rap artist

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Funny Artist Jokes
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I got my tattoo artist to write “Tattoo artists are stupid” on my back. I thought I got him pretty good until I realized the joke was on me.

Score: 670

What do you call an artist in a dark alley? Sketchy

Score: 435

If I was invisible for a day... I'd kick a mime artist to death.

Score: 358

The Artist I just saw a group of people who were watching an artist sketch all of them in his book. The man was good too, he really knew how to draw a crowd.

Score: 260

Why can't you trust an artist? Cuz they're sketchy, shady, and they'll frame you

Score: 211

A con artist, a pervert, and a racist walks into a bar. The barkeep looks up and says "The usual, Mr. Trump?"

Score: 151

R Kelly changed the rap game He took the art out of Rap Artist

Score: 124

ARTIST: I'd like your opinion on my painting. CRITIC: It's worthless.


ARTIST: I know, but I'd like it anyway.

Score: 121

What do you call a scam artist who is walking down the stairs? Condescending

Score: 121

What's the difference between Bill Cosby and a Rap artist? art

Score: 110

What does a rock artist say to a jazz musician? To the airport please

Score: 91

If I was invisible for a day... I would find a mime artist and kick him to death

Score: 85

The results for “The Disaster Artist” are in. Overall, it’s received Hi Marks.

Score: 81

Why did the Origami Artist never win a poker match? Because he will always fold.

Score: 80

What do you call an amputee that does karate? A partial artist

Score: 79

What is the difference between priest and con-artist? Priest are so good they fooled themselves.

Score: 71

What do you call an artist who has no money baroque.....

(I'll just see myself out)

Score: 60

If the actor who plays Wolverine were to reveal that he's been a con-artist his entire life.... Would that mean this has all been a huge act, man?

Score: 48

What's the difference between a ginger and a ninja? One's a soulless killing machine. The other is a highly trained martial artist.

Score: 45

[offensive] Why didn't Hitler become an artist? Because he hated mixing colors...

Score: 44

R Kelly taking the art out of rap artist.

Score: 43

A critic goes to an art gallery and finds the artist of the pieces there. Critic: "Would you like to know what I think of your art?"
Artist: "Oh, yes please"
Critic: "It's useless"
Artist: "I know, but I would still like to hear it. "

Score: 43

TIL a modern artist created a stringed instrument out of a tree branch that was only to be played in the event of the government being overthrown. It was a coup-stick.

Score: 42

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” “Sculpter, artist or window cleaner”

“But which of the three do you want to be the most?”

“I don’t care as long as i get to see naked women”

Score: 40

You know, Hitler must have been a pretty great artist. There are a ton of museums dedicated to his work, after all.

Score: 37

What’s the toughest thing for an artist to draw? A salary.

(Credit to u/arguablytrue)

Score: 35

As an artist, it doesn't matter if Im naughty or nice for Christmas. Either way, Im getting charcoal.

Score: 33

My friend is a pickup artist but has no success with women Its probably because he spends most of his time drawing F-150s

Score: 30

Millions of children are being inspired by seeing their first presidential election. If a misogynistic con artist and a lying criminal can run for president, then so can that kid eating dirt on the playground.

Score: 21

What do you call a one legged rapper? A Hip-Hop artist

Score: 17

The artist Pitbull is my biggest inspiration. never has someone made so much money with such little talent.

Score: 16

Did you guys hear about that Egyptian con-artist? Turns out he was running a pyramid scheme all along.

Score: 16

A pervert, a con artist, and a fascist walks into a bar... The bartender asks: "What'll it be, Mr. President?"

Score: 15

What is the hardest job in China? A police sketch artist.

Score: 13

Why are artist bad at Uno? Because they Draw a lot

Score: 11

That has got to be the worst painting of a wagon I have ever seen "It's a horse-drawn carriage", replied the artist.

Score: 10

I am an incredible artist... I can draw anything but attention.

Score: 9

What do you call a dead prince? The artist formerly known as.

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New Artist Jokes

I traveled to a parallel world where Hitler became a succcessful artist. And in that world they wrote a book too. The book itself became so popular, that it got translated to English. The English title of the book was ... "Mine Craft"

Score: 1

An origami artist is playing poker and it's his turn to act. The dealer asks, "What do you do?"

"I fold."

Score: 0

How does a mixed martial artist make Rye bread? With Judo

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What do you call an artist that loves fruit? Vincent Man-Go-Ugh

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Why did a painting self-destruct itself after the auction? So the artist could laugh all the way to the Banksy.

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Who was the most famous rock artist in Italy? Michaelangelo!

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Why did a bad artist die in a duel? Becasue he couldn't draw his sword.

Score: 2

I quit my job as a crayon artist yesterday. It wasn't all it was chalked up to be.

Score: 2

Who is Hitlers favorite artist? Lizzo, because she blames it on z juice.

Score: 1

What’s trumps favorite music artist? AWOLNATION

Score: 2

You know a top artist by the fact he doesn't look at his instrument while playing it. Stevie Wonder and Ron Jeremy, for example.

Score: 3

The fresh abuse allegations aimed at Michael Jackson don’t matter to me; I separate the art from the artist. I’m an art thief.

Score: 6

What's the difference between a Rap Artist and R Kelly? The space and "art"

Score: 7

You've heard about the R Kelly scandal right? He really takes the art out of rap artist

Score: 2

Have you guys ever heard of this artist Rorschach? All he does is draw pictures of dicks. Over and over and over.

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What did the roman tattoo artist said to his best friend when he entered the studio? A tattoo, Brutus?

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What did the roman tattoo artist said to his best friend? A tattoo, Brutus?

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What is a jew's favorite musical artist? Post Shalom

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What do you call someone who's really good at using the Spanish word for with? A con artist

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Hey babe, are you Muhammad? Because no artist would dare try to paint your perfect image.

Score: 1

Who was the most secretive renaissance artist? Donotello

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I'm a performance artist. My next show involves peeing on a scary clown.... And now, Urine on It.

Score: 2

A Russian artist was drawing a landscape and he messed up... ...so he had to retrace his steppes.

Score: 2

What do you call an artist that eats all their paintings? An oeuvre-eater.

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If you're a scam artist, you should probably never go for an aborted fetus After all, they weren't born yesterday.

Score: 3

What do you call an artist that puts off his work? A procrasti-painter

Score: 1

I absolutely love the lyrics to the song "What is Love?" The artist really haddaway with words...

Score: 4

Apparently the Subway in my town has hired a new 'Sandwhich Artist'. Looking at my sandwich, my guess is Jackson Pollock.

Score: 0

What's the name of China's best con artist? Foo Ling Yoo

Score: 2

I got my blood drawn today The artist wasn't very good.

Score: 6

What time does a Mexican artist who likes drawing watches start? tres a clock.

Score: 1

An artist thought he left a new tube of paint near his easel. When he asked his model about it, she told him it was a pigment of his imagination.

Score: 1

A hen walks into Subway The sandwich artist says, "Sorry, we don't serve chicken."

Score: 5

Why was the artist fired? Because he was too...draw-matic

^^^^^^^^killmepls

Score: 2

What's an artist's favorite fruit? Crayon-berries

Sorry

Score: 2

Why didn't the girl go on a date with the artist? Because he was sketchy.

Score: 5

What's the difference between a therapist and a tattoo artist? You go to a therapist when you want to get something off your chest, and you go to a tattoo artist when you want to get something on your chest.

Score: 1

What do you call a grandma that know martial arts? A grandmartial artist.

I apologise for any lost brain cells.

Score: 2

A local caricature artist got arrested today I always thought he was a sketchy type of guy.

Score: 3

I want to become an artist. I already draw and paint daily. Its something ive always wanted to become. But im alreay 25 so im going to do what bruce jenner did and wait 40 years till im nearly dead.

Score: 1

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