Atom Jokes

39 digits of pi accurately calculates the circumference of the universe to the width of a hydrogen atom Scientists still can’t determine how much is needed for your mother though

Why can't you ever trust an atom? Because they make up everything

An atom loses an electron... It says, "man, I really gotta keep an ion them."

One atom says to another atom "Dude! I lost all my valence electrons!"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive!"

Never trust an atom when the pressure is on, they split.

Where does an atom go when it breaks down? A quantum mechanic.

lel

What did the atom say when it lost an electron? I better keep an ion that.

A helium atom walks into a bar The bartender says: sorry, we don't serve noble gases here.

The helium atom doesn't react.

Why shouldn't you trust an atom? Because they make up everything.

How did one gold atom greet the other gold atom? 'ey you.

What did the atom say after losing an electron? I really gotta keep an ion them.

What did the oxygen atom say to the two hydrogen atoms? Man! This threesome is getting me wet!

Why should you never trust an atom? Because they make up everything.

A helium atom walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out, we don't serve your kind here". The helium atom did not react.

Two atoms bump into each other, and become stuck. "Oh, no," said the first atom. "We're going to be stuck like this forever!"

"It'll be okay. Try not to be so negative! Think positive for a second."

The first atom thought real hard, and the two flew apart.

Two atoms were hanging out... One atom says to the other "I am about to lose an electron!"

The other atom asks "Are you sure?"

The first repies "I am positive."

According to Scientists atom’s are as old the universe So therefore your honour she was legal

Two atoms were crossing the road... ...when the first atom screams "Ahhhhh! I lost an electron".
The second atom asks "Are you sure?"
to which the first atom replied "Yes, I'm positive."

A helium atom and a hydrogen atom were talking. A helium atom and a hydrogen atom were talking.
Hydrogen says to helium, 'Hey, I think I've lost my electron.'
Helium replies 'Oh, are you sure?'

Hydrogen responds 'I'm positive'.

If I had an atom bomb for every gender... I'd force Japan to surrender

Did you hear about the atom that was caught stealing electrons? He was arrested and charged.

...this is the stuff I come up with while procrastinating studying for finals.

Why can you never trust an atom? Because they make up everything.

One atom asks a hipster atom, "Hey, did you lose an electron?" The hipster atom replies, "No, I'm just being ionic."

What does Donald Trump and an Atom have in common. They make up literally everything

What do you call a nitrogen atom having a 5-way orgy with 4 other hydrogen atoms? Ammoooaaanium

An atom asks another atom, Do these protons make my mass look big?

Why did the phosphorus atom go to the fortune teller? To find out his phos-fate!

An atom walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender makes him a drink and hands it over. The atom just sits there and sighs. "Why so down?" the bartender asks. "Iv'e lost an electron." the atom answers. "Are you sure?" the bartender asks. "I'm positive."

An atom walks into a bar... and orders a drink. The barman makes the drink and hands it over. The atom just sits there and sighs. "Why so down?" the barman asks. "Iv'e lost an electron." the atom answers. "Are you sure?" the barman asks. "I'm positive."

Joke my scinence teacher dropped on us A lithium atom walked into a bar and said

"Hey I think I left some electrons in here last night, have you seen any?"

The bar tender replied, "No, are you sure you lost them?"

The lithium atom replied "Yes I'm positive..."

One atom bumped into another atom, And said, "hey I just lost an electron!"

"Are you sure?" Asks the other atom.

"Yes, I'm positive!"

I saw an atom lose its electron He really should keep an ion it

My friend asked me if she could use my periodic table I said "sorry, I left it atom"

Edit: thanks for the Au!!

Everyone thinks Kim Jong Un wants to build an atom bomb... ...when he just wants to build a new clear-bomb.

What is it called when the electrons of one atom are transferred to another? Ionestly don’t know the answer.

There once was a chemist named atom He made up everything.....

You'd think that when two atoms in a salt bond, they're being kind by sharing electrons, but actually, one atom is stealing the electron from the other. Isn't it ionic?

What does a physicist say when he wakes up in the morning? Up an atom!

What do you call a Nitrogen atom having a 5 person orgy with 4 other Hydrogen atoms? Ammoooaaanium