Bernie Sanders Jokes

Why is Bernie Sanders challenging his 49 vs 50% loss in Iowa? I thought he didn't care about the 1%

Bernie Sanders confronted the head of the NSA and asked him why they are still illegally surveilling Americans. The guy replied, “Some people just like to watch the world, Bern.”

The only similarity between Bernie Sanders's speeches and Hillary's speeches is ......both inspire you to vote against Hillary.

Bernie Sanders is a true socialist He's taking the delegates he's earned and giving them to somebody who is struggling to earn their own.

Bernie Sanders is such a socialist... ...he gave Hillary Clinton half the votes in Iowa.

If Donald Trump wants Bernie Sanders supporters to stop crashing his rallies, he should just call them "job fairs."

Why does Bernie Sanders hate icebergs? Because only the top 1% can stay above water.

Why does Bernie Sanders write in lowercase letters? Because he hates capitalism.

Did you hear the one about Bernie Sanders? Probably not, the /r/politics mods deleted it before anyone saw.

Bernie Sanders is finally deciding to cut the BS He will now go by: Ernie Anders.

Bernie Sanders isn't a Messiah. He's just a Jewish guy sacrificing himself to save millions from their own sin and ignorance while being insulted the entire time. Clearly no basis for a religion.

If President Bernie Sanders were to die in office... And an elaborate homage to Weekend at Bernie's was undertaken to cover up that fact, he'd still have less strings than Hillary Clinton.

What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut? Remove only the top 1% please.

Bernie Sanders was asked why he is still in the race and he responded "there are still some states left for me." Those states are Denial, Anger, Grief, Bargaining and Acceptance.

Bernie Sanders joins list of 2020 Democratic Presidential candidates. Err sorry, typo. That should be:
Bernie Sanders joins list of 2,020 Democratic Presidential candidates.

CNN Poll: 50% of Bernie Sanders supporters drink whole milk, 35% drink 2% milk, and 15% drink skim milk They all hate the 1% though

What should Bernie Sanders' next presidential campaign be called? Hindsight is 2020

Bernie Sanders said it's time for him to cut the BS His new name is Ernie Anders

I went to buy a book about Bernie Sanders ...but it was sold out.

If Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Bernie Sanders were stuck on an island, who would survive? America

Hillary Clinton and Bernie sanders are having dinner together! Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders were having dinner when Hillary said to Bernie "Let me get you a knife"
Bernie said "I'll just use this one you put in my back"

When I cast my vote for Bernie Sanders... When I cast my vote for Bernie Sanders, do I punch the ballot with my sickle or my hammer?

Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Bernie Sanders are on a plane. The plane crashes. Who survives? America

How do you know someone is a Bernie Sanders supporter? Don't worry they'll tell you

What do Bernie Sanders supporters call their parents? Roommates

Bernie Sanders to cut the BS Now wants to be called Ernie Anders

Bernie Sanders may be old, but he loves modern technologies such as. . . Socialist Media.

What's Bernie Sanders's favorite insurance company? Progressive

*this just popped up in my head while in the shower. If already posted I apologize in advance*

Why does Donald Trump dislike Bernie Sanders? Chickens tend to avoid anything with the last name "Sanders".

Was there a good turnout at the Bernie Sanders rally? There were a lot of people, but I wouldn't say it was super pac'd.

What do a Bernie Sanders supporter, a Cross-Fitter, and a person with Herpes have in common? They all "Feel The Burn!"

Why did aliens vote for Bernie Sanders? Universal Healthcare

Can Bernie Sanders recover? From his devastating win in Michigan?

What do you call sandpaper on fire? Bernie Sanders

What bill is supported by Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Ted Cruz, and Bernie Sanders? The dollar bill

A Bernie Sanders supporter has erectile dysfunction and can’t get it up He says to his lover, “My erection was rigged!”

What did Bernie Sanders say to his barber? Just remove the top 1% please.

Guys, I know we're 3 days from Inauguration Day... But here's how Bernie Sanders can still win!

How do you starve a Bernie Sanders supporter? Elect Bernie Sanders as president.