Hilarious Bob Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Bob Jokes

I named my kid Bob Ross He was a happy little accident.

Edit: Wooo! Front page! I was not expecting that. I woke up today and saw a k after the amount of upvotes I was expecting. Thanks!

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I just turned on nickelodeon and saw bob the builder building a wall... ... to keep Dora from exploring.

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Can you believe marijuana is still illegal in Jamaica? Bob Marley must be rolling in his grave.

Score: 315

Stranger: "Bob? Is that short for Robert?" Bobert: "No."

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Bob told his wife, "I can't work for him anymore after what he said to me". Wife: What did he say?

Bob: You're fired

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Two clowns are eating a cannibal... One turns to the other and says "Bob, I think we are telling this joke wrong..."

Score: 137

Hi I'm Bob I'll be frank with you,
I have multiple personality disorder

Score: 101

A teacher asks her student about his favorite tree... Teacher: "Bob, which tree do you love most?"

Bob: "The eucalyptus is pretty"

Teacher: "That's nice. How do you spell eucalyptus?"

Bob: "Yep, can't go wrong with a good solid oak"

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I named my son Bob Ross Because he's a happy little accident.

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My wife is an angel. Bob and Harry are fishing one day....

Bob.... "How's your wife been?"

Harry...."She's an angel, how about yours?"

Bob...."Egh, mine is still alive."

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My name is Boninjab It's pronounced Bob.
The ninja is silent.

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My dad's a magician Bob: What does your father do for a living?

Joe: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.

Bob: Do you have any brothers or sisters?

Joe: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.

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I went bob-sleighing yesterday... Killed 250 Bobs.

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What's your blud type bob? Typo

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What does Bob Ross's paintings and an orphanage have in common? They're both full of happy little accidents

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What do you call a guy who's laying down in front of a door?...Matt. What do you call a guy floating up and down in the water?... Bob. What do you call a guy leaning against a wall?...Art. What do you call a gal who you owe money to that you set on fire?... .........................................................................................
.

.....

..BERNADETTE!!!!!!

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Why do we call the office printer Bob Marley? Cause it's always Jammin'

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I named my printer Bob Marley... Because it's always jammin'...

:D

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20 Years Ago... 20 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.

And now, we have no jobs, no cash, and no hope

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Bob Barker looks good for 91 years old. ... but hey anyone can look good if the price is right.

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Went bobsleighing the other day... killed 47 Bob(s)

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When I was a kid - My mum used to send me to the corner shop of our street with a ten-bob note, and for that I'd bring back 6 eggs, 2 bottles of milk, a loaf of bread, 5lb of potatoes and a packet of sweets for me. Trouble is, you can't do that today.....

Too many cameras.

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20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die !

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When I was 5, my Uncle Bob asked me to sit on his lap. It was quite touching, really.

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I have a drinking problem and I need help. If Bob has drunk 2 cups of orange juice and Steve has drunk 3, and each cup has the juice of 4 oranges, how many oranges did the buy?

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Bob Ross and Mr. Rogers fight for nicest person ever. Who wins? They both share the trophy

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a swimming pool? Bob

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My wife has just left me, taking my satellite dish and Bob Marley collection. No woman, no Sky.

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John buys binoculars and shows it to Bob. "Bob, this is the coolest thing ever. Last night I saw you doing you wife" You can return it, it's broken. Last night I was out of town

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I can't believe marijuana is still illegal in Jamaica Bob Marley must be rolling in his grave.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar... and the bar keep says:
"Hey, I've got a drink named after you!"
The grasshopper replies:
"You have a drink named Bob?"

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What is Bob Marley's Favorite Typeface? Sans Sheriff

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What did Bob Marley say to the chef? What Jamaican?

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Bob ,did you know.............?? **JIM**: Bob ,did you know people eat manure in some parts of the world?

**BOB**: Thats pure bullshit!!!

**JIM**: Exactly.

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My buddy got home today to find his wife had left him... She took his prized Bob Marley collection and the satellite dish.

Feel sorry for him..... No Woman, No Sky.

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Jim and bob walking down the street Bob falls down a dark hole.

Jim: hey bob is it dark down there??

Bob : I don't know , I can't see

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Bob Ross wasn't a planned pregnancy He was a happy little accident

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Why aren't digital images of Bob Marley scalable? Because they're all rasta graphics.

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My parents named me Bob Ross. They keep saying I’m a happy little accident.

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New Bob Jokes

I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee

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During his time in the army, Bob Marley always polished his boots quietly with no one else about... He was a buff alone soldier.

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Bob:... "I really should have listened to the advice my old man gave me." Tom..... "Why - what advice did he give you?"

Bob:.... "I don't know - I didn't listen."

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Why does Bob Dylan hate McDonnalds restaurants? Because they have Burgers Most Foul

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My boxing student quit so I think I’m going to replace her with my stylist. I remember that she said she was proud of her bob and weave.

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What did Bob say to his suicidal friend? Nothing, he just left him hanging.

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What did Bob Ross say to his kid? You’re a happy accident.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs and in a pool? Bob.

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Bob Ross must have always been cold. Because he was so fro-zen.

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Bob Ross must have always been cold. He was completely fro-zen.

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Courtesy of my 4 year old brother 







Q: What do you call a sponge that floats



A: Sponge-Bob

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When bob Ross said happy mistake I said Oh that's what my parents called me.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wading in a pool? Bob.

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Teacher: class let’s do math. Teacher: so bob has 25 candy bars he eats 10. What does bob have

Student: 15 CANDY BARS

Teacher: no bob has diabetes.

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Have you seen the Indian dub of "The Simpsons"? They've renamed *Sideshow Bob* to *Show Sidebob*

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Why did Bob Marlys funeral take so long? Because his coffin lid kept jamming

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Why did Bob Ross take his brushes washed in odorless thinner to Pastor Eric Dammann? So he could beat the devil out of them.

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My mom was always a big fan of Bob Ross I was her happy little accident.

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Bruce Jenner walked into a barber shop... ...looking for a friend.
He asks the barber "Bob Peters here?"

The barber says, "Nope. Just cut hair."

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the river Bob

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Bob the cactus is talking to his wife, Mandy. Mandy says: "You're so selfish. You have to remember that it's cact-US."

Bob responds: "Actually, the plural of cactus is catc-I."

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Music can inspire us to be better people... The other day I saw a depressed looking veteran in full uniform. So I walked up to him, smiled, and polished his medals. Because as Bob Marley said, 'Buff a low soldier.'

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Jay and Silent Bob is only funny to non stoners..... Jay and Silent Bob is only funny to non stoners..... Because everything is funny to real stoners.

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What do you call a man with no legs and no arms in a swimming pool? Bob.

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I met the inventor of the bobble head His name is Robert Bullhead. His friends call him Bob

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How does Bob the Builder have a one night stand? He nuts and bolts

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Two crows that are husband and wife are home when The phone rings. Ethel answers, hello? Hey Ethel Bob home. Yeah hang on. Hey Bob! Yeah? Phone caw!

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Bob was grocery shopping in France... Cashier: That'll be 20 euros.
Bob: Alrighty!
Cashier: Would you like a bag?
Bob: Sure. Baguette. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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What's a boxing hair stylist's speciality? Bob and weaves

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the sea? Bob.

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What do you call a man who has no arms and legs when he goes for a swim? Bob

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What do you call the two armless, legless Sweedish guys on my front porch? Mats

Bonus: What do you call the guy with no arms and no legs that's underneath my car? Jack.

Bonus2: What do you call the guy with no arms and no legs floating in the pool? Bob.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs that's trying to swim? bob

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Bob and Bill are having a conversation Bill: We've just created a revolutionary way to advertise and sell nearly anything! But we still need a name for it...

Bob: How about the "Bob-board?"

Bill: Actually... I've got a better idea.

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What do you call Bob Ross's kid? A happy little mistake.

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Fred doesn't know what apocalypse means.. Fred: I don't know what apocalypse means.

Bob: What! That's crazy!

Fred: So what if I don't know what apocalypse means, it's not the end of the world.

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there was a time when there was Johnny Cash, Steve Jobs and Bob Hope. now there is no Cash, no Jobs, and no Hope. please dont let Kevin Bacon die.

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"Mark my words..." "Marks dead, dude."

"Oh. Well. Then Bob my words!"

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My father is a carpenter, and he was telling me about the new, state-of-the-art plumb bob that was just released... It really is next-level.

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Where did Bob go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Bob has no arms and no legs. Knock knock. It's probably not Bob.

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Boss: Okay guys, we need to think up a name for large advertisements that can be posted along highways... Bob: Hey, how about Bobboards!

Bill: Hold on, I think I have a better idea...

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So I heard Trump is going to hire Bob The Builder to build his wall... To keep Dora from exploring.

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A quick laugh from work What do you call it when Kelsey Grammer is giving a PowerPoint presentation?

Slideshow Bob

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Roses are red, violets are blue I am a schizophrenic
And so am I.

(Credit to 'What about bob?')

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Knock Knock Bob: Knock Knock.
Joe: Who's there.
Bob: Amnesia.
Joe: Amnesia who.
Bob: Wait, what were we talking about.

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What did Bob Ross say to the prostitute? "Just beat the devil out of it"

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Why did Bob get straight to business with the deaf chick? Because actions speak louder than words.

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How does Bob Ross exorcise his paint brush? He beats the devil out of it.

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Someone made Bob Ross mad *artistic screeching*

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My dyslexic friend sobbed uncontrollably as he confessed that he kept spelling his own name backwards I really do feel for Bob.

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Did you know that Bob Ross secretly conducted bank heists? He was the Rob Boss.

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What is Bob Marley's favorite font? Anything sans sheriff.

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How did Bob Ross' wife die? A happy little accident.

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Why did Bob the Builder vote for Trump? A Mexican handyman took his job.

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My dad has a brother named Robert I guess Bob's my uncle.

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Bob comes to work an hour late with his spectacles bent, bloodstains on his nose and a rumpled shirt... "What on earth happened?" asked his boss.

"I fell down a flight of stairs."

"That took you a whole hour?!"

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What do you call 5 guys who have no arms or legs and a woman floating in the water together? Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob and Ann

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What did Bob Marley say when he spilled bleach on his clothes? Everything is gonna be all white!

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs lying on the floor? Matt.

What do you call him when he's swimming in the pool?

Bob.

Hanging on the wall?

Art.

Score: 5