Hilarious Boys Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Boys Jokes

My wife stormed into the pub last night as me and the boys were downing shots of Tequila. “You’re coming home now!” she screamed.

“No, I’m not,” I laughed.

She said, “I’m talking to the kids.”

Score: 16323

Man: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up! Doctor: Wow! That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen.

Score: 16182

Why did Elon Musk choose SpaceX to land on mars? Because if he chose SpaceY he’d land on 14 year old boys.

Score: 15881

Score: 9198

Dad: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up! Doctor: Wow! That's the worst case of parking sons disease I have ever seen.

Score: 3160

I'm glad the cave rescue is complete.... Now when I google Thai boys I can get back to normal results

Score: 2822

Me: I’m scared of the Backstreet Boys Therapist: tell me why

Me: *screams*

Score: 1121

Hey girl, I heard you like bad boys Well not to brag or anything but
I'm bad at everything

Score: 752

After weeks of speculation that the new pope would be black... ...alter boys at the Vatican are letting out a collective sigh of relief

Score: 227

Man: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up! Doctor: Wow! That’s the worst case of parking son’s disease that I have ever seen.

Score: 226

When I was an altar boy, Father Murphy always said that I was his favorite and was so much nicer than the other boys... I was touched...

Score: 225

You know what separates the men from the boys? Social services.

Score: 209

Two boys argue over whose parents are better. The first boy says, "My dad's better than your dad."

The other boy says, "Well, my mom is better than your mom."

The first boy pauses, "I guess you're right. My dad says the same thing."

Score: 195

You call it necrophilia.... But I call it cracking open a cold one with the boys.

Score: 180

What do you call a necrophelic gang-bang? Cracking open a cold one with the boys.

Score: 125

Pain. Two young boys are waiting for their
surgery…

“What operation are you having done?”

“Getting my tonsils out, what about you?”

“Circumcision”

“Oh that’s bad, I had that done when I was born
and I couldn’t walk for a year”

Score: 118

How did the blind priest find the choir boys? Satisfying.

Score: 77

I have two boys, 5 and 6. We're no good at naming things in our house.

Score: 76

So I said to my doctor, "Doc, I asked all three of my boys what they wanted to be when they grew up, and they said they wanted to be valets!" And the Doc replies, "Wow, that's the worst case of Parking Sons disease I've ever seen!"

Score: 76

Why are uncircumcised guys always horny? Because the boys in the hood are always hard.

Score: 74

Me: "I've got a fear of the Backstreet Boys" Therapist: "Tell me why."

Score: 73

Two little boys are at a wedding when one leans over to other and asks: "How many wives are we allowed to have?"

His friend answered "Sixteen. Four better, four worse, four richer and four poorer!"

Score: 66

I told the boys to stop playing Russian roulette, but you know how boys are... In one ear and out the other.

Score: 63

So Trump is working with Putin on cybersecurity... In other news, the principal at my school is working with the boys to install a surveillance system to insure privacy in the girls' locker room.

Score: 52

Had to quit my band after nobody came to any of our gigs. Going to miss the boys from "Private Function".

Score: 48

Why do we dress baby boys in blue and baby girls in pink? Because they can't dress themselves.

Score: 44

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard & they're like "How did your milkshake develop a gravitational pull that was gender specific?"

Score: 42

The dating scene at Hogwarts must really suck. Since every girl there has a magic wand, they don't really need the boys at all.

Score: 41

What do a necropheliac and the boys have in common? They both like to crack open a cold one

Score: 40

The Beach Boys Walk Into A Bar Bartender: “Round”

BB: “Round?”

Bartender: “Get a Round”

BB: “I’ll get a Round”

Score: 39

TIL Necrophiles mean a whole different thing by Popping open a cold one with the boys.

Score: 36

Why do catcholic priests hate condoms? They get caught on the church boys braces

Score: 30

I was browsing Toys R Us and the aisles said "Girls 3-5", "Boys 5-7", etc. Jeez, just let me buy something. I don't need the whole guilt trip about who made it.

Score: 30

How do the Greeks separate boys from men? With a crowbar.

Score: 26

How are teenage boys and the enzyme helicase similar? They both want to unzip your genes

Score: 26

What does Santa Claus and Michael Jackson have in common? They both leave little boys rooms with lighter sacks.

Score: 23

Why did the Priest go to Walmart? Because the little boys pants were half off.

Score: 23

Mary had a little skirt It was slit right up the sides... And every time she wore that skirt.... The boys could see her thighs.... Mary had another skirt It was slit right up the front.... But she never wore that one.

Score: 20

What do you call a band of albinos The bleach boys

Score: 16

The Beach Boys walk into a bar... "Round?"

"Round?"

"Get a round"

"I get a round"

Score: 14

New Boys Jokes

Boys are PCs, girls are Macs and non-binary people are Linux

Score: 3

What do you call someone who is attracted to Hispanic boys? A Pedrophile.

Score: 7

An iconic soccer ball have black and white and is made somewhere in Asia. They did it boys racism is no more...

Score: 2

A little boys asks his father: "Dad how are babies born?" The father replies, the seagull brings them.

The boy answers. OK and who f*cks the seagull?

Score: 5

In Greek culture what is the one traditional way they separate the men from the boys? They use a crowbar.

Score: 7

My dad gets mad that me and my brother don't do anything but lay around all day. He said "If I'd have known you boys would be this useless I would have named you thoughts and prayers"

Score: 1

Remember that K-Pop boy band who wrote atom bomb T-Shirts? Oh well, boys will be Little Boys and Fat Men.

Score: 1

The news said that the Thai boys trapped in the cave system had no idea about the world outside following the happenings of the rescue, so I guess you could say that.... They were in the dark about their situation!

Score: 3

Why didn’t the Thai boys know how to dive? Because they didn’t watch the World Cup.

Score: 1

What’s the difference between Thai boys and England? Thai boys are going home

Score: 1

Did you hear about the Thai boys? Removed.

Score: 1

What's the difference between the Thai cave boys and English football? The boys are coming home

Score: 4

I heard from the news that they finally got all the boys out of the cave. Another happy ending in Thailand, it seems.

Score: 6

Two 15 year old boys walk into a bar... They're both refused service for being underaged.

Score: 1

Two brothers started a mattress company They called it the Bed Shop Boys

Score: 1

Why are teen boys the best delivery guys? Because they always deliver their load in under 8 seconds.

Score: 5

Whats the difference between a supreme tee and Kevin Spacey? One of them is on teenage boys and the other is in teenage boys.

Score: 1

what do kevin spacey and walmart have in common? They both have small boys pants at half off!

Score: 6

What do Kevin Spacey and Santa Claus have in common? They both like to empty their sacks for young boys.
(I know it's an old MJ joke)

Score: 5

Why did Kevin Spacey go to Mars? To molest more young boys

Score: 7

A man sees two alter boys behind a church sitting on a block of ice. He says "what are you two doing here sitting on a block of ice?". An alter boy replies "The priest likes a couple of cold ones after a sermon."

Score: 3

The Amish Space Program is at a stalemate Jebediah and the boys just cannot figure out how to get the horses to go vertical.

Score: 7

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong walked across the moon. Micheal Jackson touches little boys

Score: 4

Why do white boys love dating black girls Because they don't have to worry about meeting her father

Score: 3

A gaggle of geese, a pride of lions... ... and here's how we might classify these groups:

- a brat of boys
- a giggle of girls
- a tedium of accountants
- a stitch of doctors
- a whine of losers
- a jerk of politicians
- a stagger of drunks

Score: 3

What do Harvey Weinstein and Macy’s have in common? Little boys pants, half off

Score: 3

I heard you like bad boys. Well I'm bad. At everything.

*Winks at you with both eyes*

Score: 2

I heard they're letting girls join the boy scouts now. They're going to help the boys pitch a tent.

Score: 4

What do you call it when a group of men is on their way to kill Cthulu? Cracking open an old one with the boys.

Score: 2

What's the difference between a rook and a bishop? A rook moves horizontally and vertically.
A bishop molests altar boys.

Score: 3

What was the vampire doing at the morgue? Cracking open a cold one with the boys.

Score: 3

Why do baby boys wear blue and baby girls wear pink? They can't dress themselves…

Score: 2

Bad joke i thought of late af at night Did you hear the Kayse family are expecting a girl but they have prepared a boys name; Justin Kayse

Score: 4

What do you call twin boys with no arms and no legs hanging from a window? Kurt and Rod

Score: 7

Lawyer : She had 3 children, yes? Witness : Yes
Lawyer : How many were boys?
Witness : None
Lawyer : Were there girls?

*This was a real conversation in court*

Score: 10

As I drunkenly stumbled into the examination hall, I asked the professor.... *"Ssir, w-would you allow a drrrunk s-student to take the test?"*

The professor, a man who had grown apathetic with age, replied, *"Sure, why not."*

I shouted, *"Grrreat! Ok boys, drag him in!"*

Score: 2

What the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12

Score: 2

Four frat boys Four frat boy we're sitting along side the road. Where's the fifth?

They drank it.

Score: 3

So the Roman's used to Sodomize their victims on the battlefield, dead included. So does was this the first case of cracking open a cold one with the boys?

Score: 2

What do yo call someone who has pictures of little wooden boys? A Gepetto-phile.

Score: 10

What did the lead coroner do when he and the other coroners were asked to perform an autopsy? He cracked open a cold one with the boys.

Score: 3

What allowed the B boys to make it in hip hop and drum n bass? The A men break

Score: 2

The missus asked me, "When you're on a boys-only trip, do you think about me?” Apparently "Only to stop myself from coming too quickly" wasn't the right answer.

Score: 11

A charming man walks into a bar and shouts: "THE QUEEN IS DEAD, BOYS!" The barman says: "Too soon, Morrissey"

Score: 2

A boys father wore a see-through dress He was trans-parent

Score: 2

I recently asked a Priest about the passages of Mark 13 and Luke 12 ... but he insisted that had not seen either of those boys in ages.

Score: 3

The Beach Boys walk into a bar… "Round?"

"Round?"

"Get a round"

"I get a round?"

"Get a round...."

Score: 4

How do you trigger a feminist? Its a secret. Only boys can know it.

Score: 4

Why does it always seem to rain on Valentine's Day? So the boys are as wet as everyone else, come evening.

Score: 2

How deep do the Sandusky genes run? All the way to boys size 12.

Score: 2

Why are Teen aged boys so good at fishing? Because they're Master Baiters.

Score: 8

When I was younger I was offered to join Boys 2 Men Not the band. The strip club

Score: 1

Two poops walk acros the street... they see diarrhea. Diarrhea asks : what are you guys doing? The poops say : we are going to rob a bank. Diarrhea asks : can i join you? The poops say : no its only for the hard boys.

Score: 1

What do you call it when a mother has twin boys in Arizona? Tucson.

Score: 2

What did the bishop say to a large group of priest at the overnight camp for young boys? 'Let us prey.'

Score: 1

What did the hair stylist do when the Beach Boys came on? The barber ran

Score: 6

Teacher: Johnny, can you tell me 2 pronouns? There were two boys named Johnny so one of them says: "Who? Me?"

Finally a correct answer Johnny..

Score: 4

What do miss Frizzle and the catholic church have in common? They've both been in little boys.

Score: 2

TIL that 94% of teenage boys fap in the shower and the other 6% sing a song. Do you know what that song is? I didn't think so.

Score: 1

Blondes and their belly buttons Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons?

Blonde boys aren't all that bright either.

Score: 9