Breast Jokes

So you like limericks, huh? On the Breast of a woman named Gale

was tattooed the price of her tail

and on her behind

for the sake of the blind

was the same information in braile.

A guy and a girl are in the same programming class.. Out of nowhere, the guy reaches over and grabs the girl's breast.

Disturbed, the girl looks at the guy and says "What are you doing!? Those are private!"

He only states "How is that? We're in the same class."

Yesterday, my wife told me she has breast cancer “Honey,” she said, “there’s a couple things I need to get off my chest.”

My wife has just been diagnosed with breast cancer... Doctor told us that mastectomy will be necessary.

Today, I went online to see if there is any alternative...

Emma, 28 years old, NY. Looks cute...

I’m on a plane and the lunch choices are white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I’m seated in the last row. I’m hoping for the breast, but preparing for the wurst.

Did you hear about the 80 year old woman that tried to kill herself? She was told that the most effective way would be to shoot herself through the heart, just below her left breast... She woke up in hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.

Unshakable Fact # 5 Arguing over a girl's breast size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Carlsberg & Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.

I got kicked out of the swimming pool today. Apparently the breast stroke isn’t what I thought it was.

What does an older woman have between her breast that a younger one doesnt? Her belly button.

The Chinese government is trying to help working women by providing breast milk couriers... The couriers take the breast milk from the factory where the mother works to the factory where the baby works.

What's the difference between a Greyhound terminal and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station.
The other is a busty crustacean.

I know The Little Mermaid's breast size. It's obvious. She's wearing C-shells.

Grandma went to the hospital saying she felt a lump on her breast... Turns out it was her belt buckle.

What's the difference between a lobster with breast implants and a New York bus station? Ones a busty crustacean the other one is a crusty bus station

What's a mathematician's favorite type of breast? Quantitties.

Q: What do you call the cleavage between breast implants? A: Silicon Valley

A single father needed breast milk for his infant baby and so he asked others how he could get it. A colleague of his who was lactating offered to give her milk to the baby.

She became his breast friend.

I recently received a certificate for the breast stroke. Although the Judge called it a restraining order.

I'm so sick of people looking at me funny because I choose to breast feed. If I wanna get my milk straight from the cow, then that's up to me.

Breast cancer awareness has pink ribbons, but what does alcoholism awareness have? Bruises.

I once met a woman with wooden breast implants This joke would be funny with a punchline, wouldn't it?

What did the pervert say when he was kicked out of the public pool? "I was only practicing my breast stroke"

Why did the pastor go to KFC? To grab some breast.

What's the different between a rusty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? Ones a crusty bus station, and the others a Busty Crustacean

What Do Women And KFC Boxes Have in Common? Once you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put the bone in.

So I just got banned from swimming at my local pool... Apparently Breast Stroke isn't exactly what I thought it was

My mother never attempted to wean me off of breast feeding. Just cut me off entirely one day... ...as if that first year of college wasn't difficult enough.

What is the difference between an old bus stop and a crab with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busy crustacean

What is the difference between a broken down bus stop and a crab with breast implants? One is a rusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

I was so ugly as a baby when my mum breast fed me, she used to shut her eyes and think of other babies.

What do a good woman and KFC have in common? After nibbling the breast and thighs there's a greasy box to put your bone in.

Why is a woman like a KFC? Because once you get past the juicy breast and tender thigh, all you have left is a greasy bucket to put your bone in...

What's the similarity between women and KFC Once you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you're left with a greasy box to pop your bone in.

Some men are leg men; some men are breast men Me? I enjoy the whole chicken.

Breast implants are like potato chips. You can't have just one.

How did the cow feel after being diagnosed with breast cancer? She was in udder disbelief.

What's the difference is between a lobster with breast implants and a filthy bus depot? One is a busty crustacean and the other is a crusty bus-station!
*edited because I screwed up my original punchline...

I feel like Mammorial Day would be a much less somber day. In fact, it would probably be the breast holiday of the year.

What do you call a breast that couldn't float? Sanctity