Burger Jokes

You: Would you like a keto burger? My anaconda: No.

One day when I was young...... I watched my father grill burgers. When they were done, he handed me one, telling me it was a Bison burger. He then left.....never came back......I know he may not have been dedicated to his family, but he was dedicated to his jokes.

A friend of mine has been rushed to hospital, after eating a horse-burger. Apparently he is now in a stable condition.

It was my son's birthday, so I took 4 of his mates for a burger and then bowling. They had a great time, he would have loved it

A drunk walks into a library... He goes up to the desk and slurs: I'll have a burger, fries and a milkshake.

The librarian replies: Sir, this is a library!

***whispers*** Sorry, I'll have a burger, fries and a milkshake.

My girlfriend is in the hospital after she ate a giant bacon cheese burger. It was mine.

It was my son’s birthday. So I took 4 of his friends out for a burger and a movie. They had a great time. He would have loved it.

I called my wife and said that I’ll pick up Burger and Fries on the way home from work. I was met with stony silence. I think she’s beginning to regret letting me name the twins.

I went to this restaurant on the beach in Florida and ordered something called the Pelican Burger. It was good, but the bill was enormous.

What's a bulimic cheerleaders favourite restaurant? In'n'Out Burger

At the Burger King drive through I said “I’ll have Bruce Lee’s favorite burger please” The cashier said “what’s that?”

So I said “ A whopaaaaaaaa”

My local ski resort was ripped off last week for around $900. The robber stole a burger, two beers, and some chips.

Why did the Dairy Queen get pregnant? The Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper

A blonde walks into a library and says to the librarian,"I'll have a cheese burger."
the librarian replies softly says,"Sweety, this is a library."
the blonde whispers,"Oh. Sorry, I'll have a cheese burger."

How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? Because Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.

A guy walks up to the counter and says, "Burger and Fries, please". Certainly Sir," I replied. "Are you eating in or taking out?"

"F@ck off, you c*nt." he snaps, before walking off with his food.

I love working in a prison kitchen

What do you call a burger that merged with a laptop? *A big mac*

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? He didn't wrap his Whopper

A blonde walks into a library.. and says: 'i'll have the cheese burger and a coke.'
the librarian is confused and says: 'you know you're in a library, right?'
the blonde goes: 'oh sorry' and whispers 'i'll have the cheese burger and a coke.'

What does Bruce Lee order at Burger King? A *WHOPPA*!

I remember my teacher telling me that looking out of the window wouldn't get me anywhere. Boy, did I have a smug look later when I handed him his burger and fries at the drive-thru!

Why did the cheeseburger fight the veggie burger? It had beef.

Why didn't the burger king get the dairy queen pregnant? Because the whopper always comes in a wrapper!

In line at Burger King the other day, when I finally get to the counter the lady says sorry about the wait. I said, "don't worry ma'am, you'll lose that eventually."

I just found my first gray pubic hair, and am happy and sad at the same time... Happy it was not mine, sad that I found it in my Burger King whopper.

What do you say to a female that studied gender science? Could I have the burger with fries please?

A shetland pony walks into a Burger King... He walks up to the counter and whispers "I'll take one whopper please." The cashier says "sure, buy why are you whispering?" The pony looks up at him and says "sorry, I'm just a little hoarse"

I went out the other night and tried a pelican burger for the first time.... It was amazing but the bill was enormous!!

A man invites his Jewish friend out for lunch Upon arriving at the restaurant, his friend says "I'm not sure I can eat here. Is Burger King kosher?" The man waved his hand dismissively and says "Don't worry, it's Burger King: Have it Yahweh."

Yo momma's so fat When she went to McDonalds they had to call Burger King for backup

I was walking past Toys R Us today, when I noticed a really long line outside... I asked a worker, "What's everyone here for?"

He said, "That's the Barbie queue."

Then, like an fool, I stood in it for forty five minutes waiting for a burger...

I could never eat a vegan burger I don't believe in cannabalism

My comeback against my kid today Me: *picks up a toy burger from his toy stove while he is cheerfully playing*

Him: Put it back or I'll tell the cops.

Me: Pretty sure they won't bother over some patty crime.

What does Bruce Lee order at Burger King? WHOPP-AHHH!!!

Ordered a burger at GameStop Sent it back because it tasted so gamey.

Bruce Lee walks into a Burger King... and orders and WHOPPPAAAA!!!

How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? The Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.

Why did the burger run? Because it's fast food...

I've never understood why there's Burger King but no Borscht Czar After all, people who eat fast food are in a hurry... they're always Russian around everywhere.