Casino Jokes

What's the difference between a casino and a church? You actually mean it when you pray at a casino.

What’s the difference between praying in church and praying in a casino? When you pray in a casino you really mean it

What’s the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? In a casino, you really mean it.

My wife wants to leave me. She says I care more about gambling than I do her or our daughter. She’s obviously wrong. Why else am I refusing to leave the casino until I win my daughter’s college tuition money back?

Why did the monks go to the casino? Tibet.

at the roulette table when..... I was just about to place my chips on the roulette table at the casino when the African man standing next to me gave me a nudge and said, "Black, 33."

I shook his hand and said, "White, 28."

There's a VERY easy way to leave every casino with a small fortune. Go there with a large one.

I've just opened a casino for dogs where they can play roulette, poker blackjack etc... They'll have to go outside for craps though.

I'm starting to have second thoughts about the hotel room I booked at the Indian Casino this weekend. simply put, I'm having reservations about my reservation on the reservation.

I know the secret to leaving a casino with a small fortune Walk in with a big fortune.
Happy new year

What did the nun wear to the casino? Her gambling habit.

Did you hear about the fat guy who spent his free time in a British casino? He heard it was a fast way to lose pounds.

The secret to walking out of a casino with a small fortune is to walk in with a large one

What is it called when you're having second thoughts about booking a room at a Native American casino? A reservation reservation reservation.

I bought a second hand deck of cards from a casino in Las Vegas, but after 4 weeks they hadn't arrived. When I asked for an update, they said they were still dealing with my order.

Why did the monk go to the casino? Tibet

The only rule to get out of a casino with a small fortune Is to enter there with a large one.

Hear about the man who needed to use his fingers and toes to count to 20? He was thrown out of the casino when he pulled his pants down while playing blackjack

I ordered a bunch of second hand card decks from a casino a month ago, but I still haven’t received any. When I asked for an update, they said they are still dealing with it.

I ordered a second-hand deck of cards from a casino, but after four weeks, they still hadn't been delivered, so I called them up to see what was going on... They told me they were still dealing with my order...

I was in a casino on the roulette machine last night, when the man standing next to me turned to me and said, "Black, 27." I shook his hand and said, "White, 23."

What’s the easiest way to leave a casino with 1 million dollars? Enter with 10 million dollars

Why do fat people lose so much at casino tables? Because whenever they are out of chips they always grab more.

A pickle walks into a casino and sits down at a card table He says “Dill me in”

Why was the dietician kicked out of the casino? He was caught counting carbs.

The best thing you can do is betting your house in the casino. The house always win.

Did you hear about the Casino that hired a Blacksmith? He who smelt it, dealt it.

Why is it so easy to buy drugs at a casino? Because the casinos are full of dealers.

I ordered a second-hand deck of cards from a casino, but after four weeks, they still hadn’t been delivered. I called them up to see what was going on... They told me they were still dealing with my order…

What's the difference between praying at church, or the casino? When you pray at the casino you mean it..

What's The Difference Between People, Who Pray In Temple And People Who Pray In A Casino? Those praying In Casino Are More Serious.

What do you call a midget that works at a casino? A small arms dealer.

What did the stressed-out casino worker say to their boss? I literally cannot deal.

So my friend works at a casino and one day.. Wait is dice plural and die singular? Or is die plural? Well anyway he killed two people by mistake.

What's a pig's favourite casino game? Porker.

What do you call an abbot that owns a casino? A chipmunk......

Ba dum tsss

How is a casino like a woman? Liquor in the front, poker in the back!

I've just opened a casino for dogs. They can play roulette, poker, blackjack and a host of other games all under one roof.

They have to go outside for craps though.

After losing all night at the casino and man jumped off the roof. I asked "what he lost?" Dealer: "His balance."