Clinton Jokes

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Funniest Clinton Jokes

Did you hear that NYC paid Hillary Clinton $2,000,000 as a consultant for New Years Eve? They wanted an expert on dropping the ball at the last second.

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Bill Clinton tried to cheer up Hillary this morning. He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected President until after he had served 27 years in prison.

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Donald Trump said if I voted for Hillary Clinton I'd have a President constantly under Federal investigation. I did and we do.

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What do you get if you cross Bill Clinton and Donald Trump? Found in your cell, unresponsive.

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Apparently Monica Lewinsky won't be voting for Hillary Clinton this election She says the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth

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If Trump wins Im leaving the country if Clinton wins Im leaving the country Not a political post, I just love to travel

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If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? America.

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So the American people's choices for President will apparently be either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. That is the joke. There's no punchline here.

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There is still hope for for Hillary Clinton Nelson Mandela became President after 27 years in prison.

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Hilary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected in to office. Sorry it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted.

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Funny Clinton Jokes
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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are in a plane crash. Who survives? America.

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If Hillary Clinton won she would’ve been the first F president. I didn’t say female because someone deleted the emale.

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Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump? Because orange is the new black.

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Now I'm not saying I'm a good businessman But I spent $534 million less than Hillary Clinton to not become President.

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What's Hillary Clinton's favorite Christmas carol? Depends, what is yours?

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Why does Hillary Clinton have two Ls in her first name? 1 for 2008, 1 for 2016

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I really think Hillary Clinton will be the first f president Oops. I meant female but the emale got deleted

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What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and an acronym? An acronym stands for something

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How many Hillary Clinton supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They prefer to be left in the dark.

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Do you know why Bill Clinton played the saxophone? Because he lost his whoremonica

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Hillary Clinton will potentially be the first f***** president. I wrote female, but apparently someone deleted the email

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Just waiting for Steve Harvey to come out and say it's actually Clinton any second now

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This speech will be very hard for Hillary Clinton... She isn't getting paid for it

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Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush jump of a bridge. They do a race who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society

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Monica Lewinsky has released the following statement on Hillary Clinton's run for the American Presidency: "I will not vote for Hillary Clinton. The last Clinton Presidency left a very bad taste in my mouth."

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Who would survive if Trump and Clinton both were stranded on a island? America

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It is so quiet in the Clinton HQ right now. So quiet you can hear an email being deleted

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What does Hillary Clinton say when she's unhappy at a restaurant? Can I have a different server?

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If Trump wins the election, I'm leaving the country. If Clinton wins the election, I'm leaving the country.

This isn't a political post; I just want to travel.

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So the American people's choices for President of the United States will most likely be Donald Trump or Hilary Clinton. That's it. That's the joke. There is no punchline.

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Former president Clinton Walks into a dry cleaner with a suit,

"I'm in a hurry can I get this by 3 today?"

The clerk, preoccupied, quickly looked up and asked "come again?"

"No, it was mustard this time."

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If Hillary Clinton was elected, she would have been the first f president. I would say female, but the emale got deleted.

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There's an email going around that claims to include a nude photo of Hillary Clinton Don't open it. It contains a nude photo of Hillary Clinton.

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What's the difference between JFK and Bill Clinton? One got his head blown off, the other was assassinated

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If Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton gets in a car crash who will survive? America.

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Monica said she wasn't voting for Hilary... because the last Clinton left a bad taste in her mouth

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Trump should build a wall with Hillary Clinton's emails. Seems like the only thing people can't get over.

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If Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton were in a car accident, who would survive? America.

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A liar, A cheat, and a sore loser walk into a bar. The bartender says:

What'll it be Mrs.Clinton?

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300 women working in Washington DC were asked if, now that he's older, they would sleep with Bill Clinton now that he's older. 96% replied "Not again"

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Why did Bill Clinton quit the saxophone? So he could blow that hoarmonica

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Guys I am bill clinton Hahahahaha I’m bill clinton

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Hillary Clinton should’ve been the first F president. Sorry, I meant female, but the emale got deleted.

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Hillary Clinton should have been the first F president. Sorry, I meant female, but the emale got deleted.

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Despite the fact she is a Democrat, Monica Lewinsky decided to vote for Trump in the last election... ....she said to her friend, "I'd like to vote for Hillary, but the last Clinton left a very foul taste in my mouth."

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are sitting in a boat. The boat sinks. Who survives? America.

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I'm going to the Halloween party at my office today as President Hillary Clinton I'm not going to show up.

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Apparently Monica Lewinsky didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

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Why can't Bill Clinton go scuba diving? He won't inhale.

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Is President Trump as big of a pervert as President Clinton? Close but no cigar.

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Nobody's happier about hurricane Irma than Hillary Clinton and Al Gore It's the only reason their books are flying off the shelves in Florida.

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Hillary Clinton is scheduled for a book signing in Brookfield, CT at Costco Strange that she chose Costco, because Bill prefers BJ's

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If President Clinton had a show it would be called... Between two Bushes

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Hillary Clinton would've been the first F president I would've said female, but she deleted the email.

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Hillary Clinton's New Book Is Already A Bestseller, And It Isn't Even Out Yet Kinda like how she had won all those primaries before anyone got to cast a vote!

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Clinton didn't lose the election because of misogyny... Most of Trump's voters love a strong heroin.

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Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? To keep his ankles warm.

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Everyone knows Hillary took silverware, but what did Bill Clinton get from the Oval Office? One night stand.

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What's the difference between Bill Clinton and the Titanic? Only 109 women went down on the Titanic

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What does Hillary Clinton and La La Land have in common? They both thought they were going to win.

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Miss Columbia, Hillary Clinton, and La La Land won Miss Universe, the U.S. Presidency, and Best Picture. In theory.

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Is Donald Trump sleazier than Bill Clinton? Close, but no cigar.

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The problem with Bill Clinton Is that he never learned harass was one word.

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A blonde, a drunk, a liar, and a loser walk into a bar to order a couple drinks... The bartender says: "There's my favorite customer! What will it be this time Ms. Clinton?"

Edit: Hahaha everyone's so butthurt. It's just a joke...

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BILL CLINTON'S FAVORITE CARD GAME Q: What is Bill Clinton's favorite card game?
A: Poker.

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What do Monica Lewinsky and the New York Giants have in common? They were both terrorized by Clinton Dix, Ha Ha.

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What two words will, when heard, get any Trump supporter to rant at length about Hillary Clinton? "Donald" and "Trump".

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Say what you want about Bill Clinton's Presidency... But he was always hard at work.

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Russia admitted today to hacking the DNC in an attempt to get Donald Trump elected They went on to say that they decided not to take any action, however, once they saw Hillary Clinton's campaign strategy.

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How much is Hillary Clinton's life insurance? Just one bill.

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News: Hillary Clinton concedes her defeat to Donald Trump in a private phone call. Safe to say she's learned her lesson with emails!

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Woohoo! Donald Trump won the presidential election! As a Clinton voter I'm not happy that he won, just happy that I'm not Mexican

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If hillary wins, trump supporters can at least take solice in 1 fact. Bill clinton is going to be the first lady.

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What does Hillary Clinton's presidency and Bill Clinton's presidency have in common? They were both ruined by weiners.

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What does Bill Clinton's presidency and Hillary Clinton's future presidency have in common? Weiners got them both in trouble but in the end nobody really cared.

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If this Hillary case blows up... It will be the second time a weiner has ruined the presidency for a Clinton

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Why were Huma Abedin's darkest fears about seduction by Bill Clinton unfounded? Because ultimately it was Hillary who ended up showing her the Huma door.

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Clinton still leads Trump by 2! FBI Investigations.

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What do you call it when Bill Clinton gets an erection? A political uprising.

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Why is Monica Lewinsky voting Trump? The Clinton's leave a bad taste in her mouth

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A cannibal has eaten former president Clinton. He’s expected to pass a Bill in the house chamber shortly.

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A lier, crook, and murderer walks into a bar.... The bartender asks, "What'll it be, Mrs. Clinton?"

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Hillary Clinton has been frequenting a new restaurant, reports say. I guess the main appeal of it is her own private server.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on a frozen lake. They weren't talking so I decided to go over and break the ice.

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Hillary Clinton doesn't suck! Just ask Bill

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Monica Lewinsky says she WILL endorse Hillary for president... ..says Hillary Clinton "doesn't suck."

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Monica Lewinsky says she won't endorse Hillary for president... "The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in my mouth"

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Did you know Hilary Clinton is an excellent musician? She plays the lyre really well.

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Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump Are Sinking On A Cruise Ship, Who Survives? America

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What do Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton have in common? They blew a seal.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton run for president. Who loses? America.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are running for Presidency. Who will win? Certainly not the people.

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Why did Bill Clinton say NO to testosterone meds? He was afraid of ending up like Hillary.

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The US can't rely on Hillary Clinton to create jobs The last meaningful job Hillary had was outsourced to Monica Lewinsky...

...and Monica blew it!

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What bill is supported by Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Ted Cruz, and Bernie Sanders? The dollar bill

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Monica Lewinsky will not be voting for Hillary.. The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

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With the election coming close, I trust Bill Clinton the most... He always picked someone other than Hillary, so I will too.

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I wonder what Hillary Clinton will do after she dies.... Most likely she'll lie still

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Heard this from my History Professor. Ronald Reagan had such high regard for the office of President that his jacket was never off.

Bill Clinton had such high regard for the office of President that his pants were never on.

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