Coach Jokes

My new girlfriend asked me how many girls I've slept with. "Eleven," I replied. "Wow! You must be a player," she laughed. "No," I said, "I'm their coach."

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? Coach.

What do you call the white guy on a bus full of black guys? Coach.

Best Way To Impress a Girl.. Boy To Gym Coach: "I Wanna Impress Cute Girl, I'm Gonna Meet In 3 Days Which Machine Should I Use?" Coach: "Use The ATM Machine Outside The Gym"

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 15 black guys? Coach.

Why is Cinderella so bad at football? A. Because she's got a pumpkin for a coach

B. Because she keeps running away from the ball

What do you call the one white person on a bus full of black people? Coach

Did you hear about the baby ghost who joined the football team? He heard the coach say they needed a little team spirit.

Jerry Sandusky was actually a pretty successful coach... ... he turned many tight ends into wide receivers.

I don't think my 3rd base coach likes me. He keeps telling me to go home.

What do you call a white man surrounded by black men? Coach

“You miss 100% of the shots you take.” - my high school coach

The Voice Coach Voice Coach: "Let's start with a scale."

Student: "Do, re, muuuhh, fa, so, la, ti, doooh!"

Voice Coach: "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't take that tone with mi!"

Why is Cinderella so bad at basketball? Her coach is a pumpkin.

There was a kidnapping at a local middle school recently The teacher had to wake him up right away


(Taken for a 3rd grader I coach)

Who was Mr Rogers' weight lifting coach? Arnold Schwarzeneighbor



(OC)

Coach always used to say "Aim for the skies, boy". He doesn't say that anymore after I blinded myself at archery practice.

An athiest, a vegan, and a CrossFit coach walked into a bar I know because they told me.

Racist Jokes (Sorry if I offend you) What do you call a white guy surrounded by 12 black guys?

**A Basketball Coach**

What do you call a black guy surrounded by six white guys?

**Police Brutality**

(Again, sorry if I offended you. Just trying to make a joke.)

What do you call a white guy surrounded by ten black guys? Coach.

I got a text from my life coach today. He said I didn't make the team.

The coach discovers he is going to die in a week He tells his wife: I want to clear my conscience. I have been unfaithful to you, only once, with your sister.
She says: That's okay. I too have been unfaithful to you, only once, with the football team.

Went to my old tennis coach's funeral last week. His death was tragic but the service was lovely.

Why doesn’t cinderella play sports? Because she has a pumpkin for a coach, and runs away from the ball.

“The 40 yard dash,” answered Timmy. “100 meters,” said Becky. “Blacks,” said Billy. Coach’s face fell to the floor. “That’s not what I meant when I asked what race makes you most nervous.”

Why does a football coach angrily kick the vending machine? He wants his quarterback.

What do you call it when your birthing coach won't come to help you deliver your baby? A mid-wife crisis

Edit: or a 'No can doula'

A coach full of jazz musicians has broken down on the motorway, blocking all lanes. Police say to expect some long jams.

I saw my old karate coach in his car yesterday He drove a KIIIIAAA.

Why did the football coach break into the vending machine? To get his quarterback.

What did the Grapefruit basketball coach say to the worst player on the team? You're going to have to ci-tris one out.

Why a centipede cannot fly coach? Not enough leg room!

What do you call....... What do you call a white guy surrounded by five black guys? Coach.

What do you call a white guy surrounded by eleven black guys? Football coach.

What do you call a white guy surrounded by hundreds of black guys? Warden.

A coach is watching one of his players run laps on the track. Coach: “You’re almost done kid! Just tumor!”

Kid: “I don’t think I cancer.”

A bad boxer During the fight, the boxer swiped the air furiously, but could not hit his opponent.

"How am I doing?" he asked the coach at the end of the round.

"Well, if you keep this up," replied the coach, "he might feel the wind and catch a cold."

Have you heard that Gandalf is joining the Seahawks as a coach? He has only one strat: "You shall not pass!"

BREAKING: Messi has just been substituted by a noob player, these are the words of the coach post-game! "Ah woops, wrong sub"

What happens when you permit your wife to spend extra hours with her tennis coach? Hopefully a good reason to divorce her.

Everyone on my flight got mad at me... Because i got my kid a ticket in coach while i flew first class.

She’s 4 months old she can handle herself.