Construction Worker Jokes

A construction worker walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt. The bartender asks: “What can I get you?”
The construction worker says “One beer for me, and one for the road.”

How do you advertise a boxing match between a Hispanic construction worker, and a Catholic priest. Alien vs predator

What do you hear if you take a construction worker's hat off and hold it to your ear? The OSHA.

How can you tell the difference between a construction worker and a chemist? Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

I saw two construction workers laughing together today. I know what they were building... Friendship.

What is the easiest way to tell a construction worker from a chemist? Ask them to pronounce unionized.

A construction worker comes home from work. He tells his wife, "Honey, I cut off my finger today."
She replies, "The whole finger!?"
He says, "No, the one right next to it."

"I see," said the blind construction worker, As he picked up his hammer and saw

My city just fired half of the city's construction workers... Apparently they realized a shovel can stand-up on it's own.

A construction worker decided to go to a bar for a few drinks He got hammered.

How do you tell the difference between a construction worker and a chemist? Ask them to pronounce the following word:

"U-N-I-O-N-I-Z-E-D"

A construction worker asked me to make a joke about the contents of his toolbox. Unfortunately, I don't have any drill bits.

Hey girl are you a construction worker? Cause you're erecting something right now

What happened to the Irish construction worker? He got hammered.

For construction workers did you know that if you hold your hardhat up to your ear, you can hear OSHA?

How can you tell if someone is a construction worker or a chemist The way they pronounce unionised

What's the road construction worker's equivalent of a plumbers crack? An asphalt

Why did the construction worker buy the Microsoft CD? To install the windows.

Did you hear the joke about the construction worker? It was very riveting.

What did the asthmatic person say to the construction worker? You're breathtaking.

Saw two construction workers laughing today... I know what they were really building: Friendship

What did the construction worker say when people complained that his building didn't meet code? "I did asbestos I could."

What do a construction worker and a cheating husband have in common? They are both home wreckers

What is a construction workers favourite thing to do? Site-seeing

What did the construction worker say about his list of construction jokes? Sorry I'm still working on it.

How do you tell the difference between a construction worker and a chemist? Ask them to pronounce the word “unionized."

What do construction workers do at parties? They raise the roof.

What do you call an erotic construction worker? A brick layer.

Why did the construction worker get frustrated and stamp a snail? Because it had been following him around all day

How many construction workers does it take to do a single job? As many as it takes to surround one laborer.

A dyslexic construction worker couldn't decide what to upgrade. Between roofing equipment and flooring supplies, he chose the ladder.

If you’re looking for a job be a construction worker. I’ve heard they make banks.

I bought a dog from a construction worker today... ...I had a rough idea what it would've been like, but this dog raised the roof.

A construction worker without a helmet walks into a bar. Ouch.

My construction worker friend says he has stopped getting morning wood. He says he has a rock tile dysfunction.

Where do construction workers come? On your backhoe.

I heard a guy was playing with himself while watching construction workers on a job site... Guess he was getting off on the ground floor.

You ask a construction worker to tell a joke. He says, '' hold on I'm working on it"

Did you hear about the construction worker that got arrested? He was handling his wood in public.