Couples Jokes

I went to a restaurant. It was full; no place to sit...
I took out my mobile,
Placed it to my ear and said loudly- "Bro come fast, she's here with someone else...
Six couples ran away

Why can't Asian couples have Caucasian babies? Because two Wongs don't make a white.

If Valentine's Day is for couples, what day is for single men? Palm Sunday.

First time posting, please be gentle.

Divorced couples in Colorado are having trouble deciding who gets the Marijuana... The judges have started issuing joint custody

I went to a restaurant. Every table was occupied with couples,
there was no seat vacant.
I took out my phone and said loudly
"Dude, your girlfriend is here with someone else. Come here fast."

9 girls left their seats for me.

How can a room full of couples be empty? There isn't a single person left!

Bwahahahahaha

Valentine's day Mothers have mothers day, father's have father's day, couples have valentine's day and I have palm sunday

Couples therapist: So tell me, what brings you here today? Wife: I can’t stand living with him. He’s too literal.

Me: My truck.

Why do some couples not go to the gym together? Because not all relationships work out.

Why do Canadian couples like to do it doggie style? So they can both watch the hockey game!

What do you call couples that practice pulling out as a method of contraception? Parents.

It’s normal for married couples to fight. The trick is for you and your spouse to find a couple you can easily beat up.

I think same gender couples should not be able to get kids. No matter how good they are, having 2 dads forces the poor kids to deal with TWICE the dad jokes. Having 2 mom's isn't much better, they're all gonna end up in an "Ask your mom" loop

I Went to a Restaurant It was full so there was no place to sit

I took out my phone and placed it on my ear

Then I loudly said, "Bro come here fast, she's here with someone else..."

Six couples ran away.

Scientists have determined that 39% of couples, suffer pain after eating this one food. Wedding Cake.

Put-the-fork-down and walk away...

Why don't couples go to the gym? Because most relationships don't work out.

Why don't couples go to the gym together? Because relationships don't work out

Couples usually break up after 7 days Because they have a week relationship at that point

A lot of couples get pregnant entirely by accident. It's a pretty common misconception.

I married a ghost but we're in couples counseling now... He can just be so possessive sometimes, ya know?

Why are fat couples always so close? Gravity

How can a room full of couples be empty? There wasn't a single person in there.

A lot of people make a big deal about age differences in couples. As far as I'm concerned a girl is fair game as soon as she's finished school. So usually at about 3:15

Why don't Asian couples have Caucasian children? Because two Wongs don't make a white.

Why do couples fight? My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a weighing scale.

And then the fight started....

Why don't some couples go to the gym? Some relationships don't work out.

Why can't Chinese couples have caucasian babies? Because two wongs dont make a white

Why don't all couples go to the gym? Because some relationships just don't work out

Why do some couples not go to the gym? Because some relationships just don't 'work out'

Socks are like unhappy couples in therapy always trying to leave each other, only to be brought back together by a third party

Why do some couples avoid the gym? Some relationships just don't work out.

MY MOM: Why have you always wanted to be a couples therapist? ME: Twice the money as a normal therapist!

A rabbi comes home and tells his wife A rabbi comes home and tells his wife: "Honey, I made seven people happy today. I had three couples married."

"Who's the seventh person?" asks the wife.

"Do you really think I did it for free?" says the rabbi.

What is a brain dead couples' favorite pizza? Veggie lovers

Socks are like unhappy couples in therapy... Always trying to break up, only to be reunited by a third party.

Why didn’t the warden let married couples share a cell? She was worried that they’d finish each other’s sentences

My grandpa doesn’t want me to work long term on a submarine He says 100 men go down and six months later they come back with 50 couples.

Couples Therapist: So, tell me what brought you here today? Her: It’s impossible living with him. He’s so literal.

Him: My truck.

Why can't two Chinese couples make a white baby? Because two Wongs don't make a White.