Hilarious Current Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Current Jokes

I met my current girlfriend at a midnight game release It was destiny

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If your workplace requires password changes every 90 days just set it to the name of the current Australian Prime minister and you should be fine.

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Nurse to my dad at the hospital... ... after he was hit by a car on his bike: do you smoke?

Dad, still not sure who the current president is: only when I'm on fire

Nurse: looks to my mom

Mom: no.

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If Gingrich were to win the presidency... ...can we call his current wife the "third lady?"

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Current times are scary. We must rise up against it. We need current times resistance. We need voltage.

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I told my boss that three different companies were after me, and I needed a raise to stay at my current job. "Do you mind me asking which companies?", he said.

"Sure," I said. "Gas, Electric, and Cable".

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When interviewer asks you what you make at your current job Apparently they don't expect you to say stupid mistakes and inappropriate comments.

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The problem majoring in Electrical Engineering... is keeping up with Current Events.

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Volta and Ampere interview for the same job. After the interviews, the managers concur - although Ampere's qualifications are current, Volta is the only one who has potential.

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Donald Trump is about to watch an episode of his current favorite TV show... Orange is the New Black

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How do you induce a current in a wire by counting to 10? By mathematical induction.

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Did you hear the joke about Net Neutrality? Sorry, your current internet package does not support punchlines. Please upgrade to the higher end package.

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What is an electricians favorite type of news Current events

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Why do Muslims believe the afterlife is more important than the current life? If you lived in the Middle East, you would too.

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Ooh! Ooh! I have a current events joke! Go easy on me im drunk.

When I heard that the A/C had gone out at the AT&T Center in San Antonio tonight for the NBA finals, I thought to myself... I guess this favors the Heat.

Score: 14

I don't care much for political jokes. But I was thinking what would Reagan think of our current toxic political climate if he was alive today? I think he would say " WHY WON'T SOMEONE LET ME OUT OF THIS BOX"

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Turkish Political Humor Current Turkish gallows humour: A prisoner goes to the prison library, asks for a specific book. The guard tells him, "we don't have that book... but we do have the author." From Moshik_Temkin on Twitter

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Is it okay to mock kids for protesting global warming? Not in the current climate.

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Resistance is not futile... It's voltage divided by current.

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I've done some calculations, and I figure, that at my current rate of pay I could live happily for the rest of my life. If I died tomorrow.

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With all the political correctness in our current era, we can no longer say "black paint", but instead "Tyrone, can you please paint the fence"

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A man goes to the courthouse to change his name. "What is your current name?" the clerk asks. "Adolph Trump."
"That *is* unfortunate," the clerk replies. "What do you want to change it to?"
"Adolph Jones."

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What is the biggest joke in the world as of now? The current US presidential election

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I was gonna make a river joke But I dont think its current

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What do you call a jungle where animals talk about current events? A topical rainforest.

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Breaking news : ISIS has surrendered As soon as they read that Hugh Hefner has died , they realized there won't be any more virgins left for them in heaven, and have laid down their arms and will lead peaceful lives with their current wives .

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I'm still on my first marriage, and... Wait, that sounded very negative, as if I don't expect this marriage to last. My current wife hates it when I talk like that.

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Cheating is one of the worst things a person can do. But that is not the worst part. The worst part is that I just found out all my current partners are doing it!

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What do fish talk about at work? Current events

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Current Year Edge vs Old School Edge Old School Edge: what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

Current Year Edge: what's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm in it.

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If the current Russian president is preparing to lead a series of swift military offensives... ...does that mean he's Putin on a blitz?

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A married couple was eating at a restaurant when the wife noticed her ex-husband sitting at the bar. "He's been drinking since I left him seven years ago" she said to her current husband.

"That's silly, dear" he replied. "No one celebrates that much."

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Girl, you're like my current account... I put all my money into you even though there's no interest.

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A man wakes up in the hospital after electrocuting himself... Doctor: What is your name?

Man: Steven

Doctor: Good. Who is the current US President?

Man: Obama

Doctor: Oh no that is incorrect it is President Trump

Man: Dammit it didn't work

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My current girlfriend is very similar to my last one... For instance, neither of them exist.

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I dont see why we need to leave our planet in a better state for future generations The current generation cant get out of middle school before dying off.

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What music service are the current DNC nominees listening to? Pandera!

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So I hear Niantic is going to try and break into the Chinese market next... Their current business strategy is to just keep digging.

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With great power... Comes great Current squared Resistance.

Yeah, I need these mnemonics to pass tomorrow's electronics exam.

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New Current Jokes

What thing that native america and current america have to deal with? Disease

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Experts in the USA are suggesting a lockdown could be the only solution to the current crisis. White House officials responded by saying that they tried it, but he keeps getting out.

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It's my wife's birthday so I've bought her the current must have present, took ages to find and even then had to fight to get it. A 9 pack of toilet roll.

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Friend: Did you know there is a show that shows current events from your own city and around the world? Me: Thats's news to me!

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We need new laws on gun control, because criminals aren't following our current laws! It's funny because gun control doesn't work

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What do you call it when you're caught making love to a raisin in the local news room? Current affairs.

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Time traveller: what's the current popular meme Me: ligma

Time traveller: ligma 1 or ligma 2?

Me: what's ligma 2?

Time traveller: ligma 2 balls

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My friend dared me to touch a calendar and I’m doing so, I received a nasty shock. Turns out that’s the current calendar

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An Iranian goes to exchange some currency He asks the teller what the current rate is for the US Dollar.

"Now, or... now?"

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What do Europeans call American History? Current events

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my father wanted me to be a physicist so he tortured me with electric current And now I'm famous conductor

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How do you call a cephalopod that is not affected by electrical current? An Ohmtopus.

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I nearly drowned in my muesli this morning... I was pulled in by a particularly strong current.

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You know you're an engineer when.... You hear 4-20 and think they're talking about an analog current input

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If all current congresspeople got into a fistfight, who would win? The American people.

(thanks /u/asurah)

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Why aren't tsunamis and tidal waves always in the news... ...since they're both current events...

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Three men walk in to a bar. One of them is wearing a hat Oops!

Your current data plan doesnt cover this feature. Click here to upgrade.

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Why does the current Pakistani Prime Minister hate the Calibri font? Because it is sans Sharif

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With the current outlook on UK exit polls... It looks like june is the end of May

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Reading my current book makes my eyes so sore It's a friction novel

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With great power comes... Great current and voltage.

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Current relationship status: The only date I'm looking forward to is my untimely death

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A man goes to see his lawyer and says.... "I can't stand my name. I'm sick of people making fun of me. I want to officially have it changed."

The lawyer says: "What's your current name?"

"John Bedwetter."

"What do you want to change it to?"

"Paul Bedwetter."

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Someone said that the current hip-hop genre is dead. I say it's cool though.

No biggie.

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Want to hear a joke related to current events? I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the CIA.

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My friend drowned during his first shift at a Muesli factory He got pulled in by a strong current

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I am so bored in my current profession. I am thinking of becoming a bartender... ...to shake things up a bit.

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Did you hear the "current events" joke by that Hawaiian comic? .....it was very tropical.

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TIL If coral get too stressed, they die. Their primary source of stress? Current events

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What stresses fish out the most? Current events.

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A party was held for current and former actors where you had to come as your favourite musician. When Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked what he was going to wear, his response was I'll be Bach

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