Hilarious Deep Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Deep Jokes

I dig, she dig, we dig, he dig, they dig, you dig .. It's not a beautiful poem but it's really deep.

Score: 13768

My friend is really optimistic and is always telling me : "Cheer up, you could be in a deep hole filled with water..." I know he means well...

Score: 4322

My friend always tells me "cheer up, at least you aren't stuck in a deep hole full of water" I know he means well...

Score: 2753

Dating a stripper is like eating a bag of chips in class. Everyone looks at you in disgust. But deep down they want some too

Score: 2275

What do you call a philosopher who's banging a prostitute? Someone who's deep in thot.

Score: 1304

Deep. Pessimist sees nothing but dark in the tunnel.

Optimist sees light in the end of the tunnel.

Realist sees light from incoming train.

Engine-driver sees three idiots standing on the track.

Score: 687

I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. It's not a beautiful poem but it's very deep.

Score: 592

Score: 580

Why don't they teach Calculus in the Deep South? Because they don't like integration.

Score: 527

Went swimming today. Took a pee in the deep end. Life guard noticed and started blowing his whistle. So scared I almost fell in.

Score: 473

What does it mean when a man looks deep into your eyes? it means that you are flat chested.

Score: 430

I wrote a poem. I dig.

You dig.

She digs.

He digs.

They dig.

We dig.

Now I know it's not a very good poem, but it's pretty deep.

Score: 334

I like my women like I like my coffee. I have a deep respect for coffee and would never discriminate against coffee based on its gender.

Score: 300

I dig. You dig. We dig. He dig. She dig. They dig. It's not a very beautiful poem, but it's quite deep.

Score: 269

At the hearings, Kavanaugh was asked how he would prefer to cross a waist deep river, in a rowboat or simply walk across it He said he doesn't want to give an opinion on Row Vs. Wade

Score: 250

Special Hand Job Getting a hand job from a chick is like watching the special Olympics...

You keep cheering them on but deep down inside you know you can do better...

Score: 214

I dropped my laptop in the middle of the ocean A dell must be rolling in the deep

Score: 207

I was having a quick wee in the deep end of the swimming pool when the lifeguard blew his whistle. It was so loud I nearly fell in.

Score: 207

I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. Now, it's not a very beautiful poem. But it is quite deep.

Score: 192

An opinion without 3.14 Is just an onion...
DEEP

Score: 166

I dig, you dig, we dig, she dig, he dig, they dig It's not a very good poem, but it is very deep.

Score: 166

Why do they bury police officers 6ft under. Because deep down they are good people.

Score: 164

Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church..... They all look at you with disgust, but deep down, you know they want some, too.

Score: 156

Not a very good poem. I dig.

He digs.

She digs.

We dig.

They dig.

Everyone digs.

I know it's not a very good poem, but it's very deep.

Score: 142

I Made a Poem..... I dig
You dig
We dig
He dig
She dig
They dig

It's not a very beautiful poem, but it's quite deep!

Score: 141

I was kicked out of the neighborhood pool for peeing in the deep end The lifeguard noticed and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in

Score: 131

You dig, we dig, she digs, he digs, they dig... It's not a particularly beautiful poem but it's really deep

Score: 126

Why do they bury politicians under 6 feet of dirt? Because deep down, they're good people.

Score: 122

I dig... You dig...
We dig...
He dig...
She dig...
They dig...

Now its not the most beautiful poem but its quite deep.

Score: 109

Why are lawyers always buried 15 feet deep? Because deep down they're good people.

Score: 108

I dig, you dig, he digs, she digs. It's not a very good poem, but it's quite deep.

Score: 104

My ex broke up with me My ex broke up with me because I , apparently , was too immature ...
I took a deep breath and calmed down.
Then I went to her house , rang the doorbell and ran away.

Score: 67

Why are deep sea fish always so stressed? Because they're under a lot of pressure.

Score: 36

Dating a stripper is like opening a bag of chips in church eveybody looks at you in disgust but deep inside they all want some.

Score: 34

A poem I dig...

You dig...

We dig...

He dig...

She dig...

They dig...

Now, it's not very beautiful, but it is quite deep

Score: 25

I dig, she dig, we dig, he dig, they dig, you dig. It's not a beautiful poem but it's pretty deep.

Score: 17

Your mother is so fat that she fell into deep depression and she broke it.

Score: 17

You know how when we were kids, we thought if you dig a deep enough hole, you get to China? The NBA is going to try to find out!

Score: 12

A blind man was taking a stroll And on his walk he passed by a fish market. As we he was walking by, he took a deep breath and said "Well hello, ladies!"

Score: 12

My Girlfriend thinks that I am childish My Girlfriend broke up with me.

She thinks that I am childish.

So I calmed down, took a deep breath, went to her house, rang the doorbell and ran away.

Score: 10

New Deep Jokes

I don't believe in conspiracy theories I believe that they are planted by the bureaucrats and a small secret group of politicians who want to keep citizens distracted so they can protect their deep state secrets

Score: 4

My publicist spent today taking photos of me deep within a dark cavern. She assured me the photos would receive high exposure.

Score: 2

A girl approaches her father, takes a deep breath and says "Dad, I'm dating a black guy." Her dad responds, "So what is he, then? Is he a Panasonic, a Sony, maybe even a Toshiba or a Kenwood, perhaps?"

The girl replies, "No, Dad - you're just stereotyping!"

Score: 2

Deep at the bottom of the darkest trench off the ocean lives the most feared sea monster to ever exist. The Kraken, Urbutt.

Score: 2

Someone posted an inspirational quote about having peed backwards. It was deep.

Score: 2

What do you call a computer that was dropped in the water? Adele Rolling in the Deep

Score: 6

What do you call a monk who got job in McDonald's? A deep fat friar.

Score: 2

I tried to dig a really deep hole to use as a source of water It didn't work that well

Score: 2

Our local monastery has opened a fast food outlet. I went in and said to the guy "Hi, are you the deep fat friar?"

He said "No, I'm the chip monk."

Score: 3

I hate jokes about Challenger Deep They're the lowest form of humor

Score: 2

How do you know that the toothbrush was invented in the Deep South? If it was invented anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush.

Score: 2

What did the monk use to make fried chicken? A deep friar.

Score: 2

My Girlfriend broke up with me because she thinks that I am childish. So I calmed down, took a deep breath, went to her house, rang the doorbell and ran away.

Score: 3

What do you call a Japanese deep fried mattress? a Tempura-Pedic.

Score: 9

So we had this substitute teacher the other day She was like Mrs. Darth Vader, you know, heavy breathing, deep voice. When she was taking role, she looked at me and said, "Are you chewing gum young man?" So I said, "No, I'm Alexander Melby."

Score: 2

People in the deep south must really love Halloween since they march around in their ghost costumes all year long.

Score: 9

A group of deep-sea explorers died after 100 hours of overworking. The pressure was too much.

Score: 4

I guess I was feeling philosophical at the bar last night because I ended the night deep in THOT.

Score: 2

How to trap your least favorite politician. 1) Dig a deep hole.

2) Sprinkle ash all around the edge of the hole.

3) When he/she shows up, kick him/her in the ash hole.

Score: 3

When you meet an apiarist, look deep into his eyes... Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.

Score: 4

How can you tell if a vampire has a horrible cold? by his deep loud coffin! ☺

Score: 9

Is this pool safe for diving? It deep ends.

Score: 2

Deep freeze prevents things go bad And my mother in law definitely showed signs of going bad, officer.

It was a logical thing to do.

Score: 2

I found out that sponges grow in the sea today. It kills me, just think how deep it would be if they didn't.

Score: 5

So, dad takes his son deep into the woods... and they walk for a while as it gets darker and darker. Son tugs on his dad's shirt and says "Daddy, I'm scared..." dad looks down at him and replies "You're scared? I have to walk back by myself."

Score: 2

What's the difference between an astronaut and a deep sea diver? The pressure.

Score: 6

How deep is a frog pond? Knee deep

Knee deep

Score: 3

Why do deep sea fish do drugs? Because the pressure is too high.

Score: 8

The definition of **INDECENT** If it's in long
and it's in hard
and it's in deep
then it's indecent.

Score: 2

TIL that Dermatologists are not good people Their care for you is only skin deep.

*Thank ButIamARobot for the idea!

Score: 5

Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt? Because deep down, they're really good people.

Score: 5

Why do deep sea divers always roll backwards off the boat? When they roll forwards they're still on the boat.

Score: 2

The public pool had to be shut down because they found five drowned blondes in the deep end. Some kid had put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom.

Score: 5

Donald Trump should be buried 20 feet under the ground Because deep down he is a very good human.

Score: 4

I believe the theological philosopher Thomas Aquinas was rather overweight...... I guess this makes him an early deep fat friar

Score: 2

You may think I'm a horrible person but deep deep down I'm even worse

Score: 1

I once met this prostitute that went by the nickname "Watergate" I had no clue why until she began to deep throat me in a parking garage

Score: 2

I asked some girls if they thought rape jokes were funny. They said no, but I'm sure deep down they really meant yes.

Score: 3

Did you hear about the statistician who drowned in a river? It was three feet deep on average.

Score: 2

Why couldn't the jumper cable start up his girlfriend? She was on her deep cycle

Score: 2

I had a job interview for a lifeguard position and they asked me what my biggest strength was. So I took a deep breath... Held it for four minutes and they gave me the job.

Score: 3

I work IT and this ladies computer would not stop playing Rolling in the Deep Asked her what brand her computer was and she said "a Dell"

Score: 6

My grandma once told me an inspiring quote about the ocean I can't remember exactly how it went. I just remember it being very deep

Score: 9

How deep do the Sandusky genes run? All the way to boys size 12.

Score: 2

Why are lawyers buried deeper than regular people? Because deep down, they're really nice guys.

Score: 9

Why do Hunters make the best lovers? They go deep in the bush, shoot more than once and eat what they shoot at.

Score: 8

Procrastination is a really deep word. I'll tell you guys the rest some other day.

Score: 4

Today I learned that Disney had to rename Moana in Italy because an Italian pornstar has the same name AND NO ONE KNOOOOOOOOWS HOW DEEP SHE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOES.

Score: 3

My jokes are pretty deep Cos they are mine

Score: 2

My girl broke up with me, thinks I am childish. So, I calmed down. Took a deep breath. Went to her house. Rang the doorbell and ran away..HA!

Score: 10

My gf broke up with me. She thinks that I am childish... So, I calmed down, took a deep breath, went to her house, rang the doorbell and ran away.

Score: 7

It's the RoboShowdown! Deep Blue opens e4. Watson responds, "What is 'Chess'?"

Score: 1

I was listening to music and dropped my computer into the ocean... Guess now it's A Dell Rolling in the Deep

Score: 3

What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One's a slimy, scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is delicious dipped in batter and deep-fried.

*-Hannibal Lecter*

Score: 4

My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving! This is a new low...

Score: 3

My girlfriend is always hooking, ending up elbow deep in a bush because she swings both ways She's a terrible golfer

Score: 3

Why did the miner feel so low? He was in a deep depression.

Score: 6

Why are Lawyers buried forty feet deep when they die? Because deep down they're really nice people.

Score: 7

After my fourth failed relationship, my friend tells me 'keep your head up, these girls come and go, but you'll find someone for you', but deep down i know... Girls don't just come and go... I do.

Score: 4

What do rich people and bad flossers have in common? Deep pockets.

Score: 1