Disneyland Jokes

A little girl asks her grandad... "Would you make a frog noise for me?"
The grandad, confused asks, "why?"
The little girl replies, "dad says when you croak we are all going to disneyland".

Two blondes are going to Disney Land At the turn off, they see a sign saying "Disneyland left"

They went home crying.

A little boy asks grandpa to make a noise like a frog. Grandpa asks why? Because mummy said the moment you croak is when we're all going to Disneyland!

A little girl asks her granddad "Would you make a frog noise for me"

Why, asks the granddad confused.

The little girl replies "Dad says when you croak we are all going to Disneyland"

I saw a giant mouse so I tried killing it with a baseball bat So now I have a lifetime ban from Disneyland

A blonde was driving on the way to disneyland. She came to an intersection and stopped, she saw a sign that read, 'Disneyland Left'. So she pulled a U-turn, cried and drove home.

Some blondes are in a car on their way to Disneyland. When they see a sign at an intersection.

"Disneyland left" ←

so they went back home.

A blond is driving to DisneyLand... She sees a sign saying "DisneyLand left" so she turns around and drives home.

When I die, I want my remains scattered around Disneyland Also, I don't want to be cremated

Ukrainian authorities are planning to turn the Chernobyl exclusion zone into an amusement park They say the only difference between it and Disneyland will be that the six foot tall mouse isn't a costume.

Ukraine has announced plans to open Chernobyl as a theme park. They say ”Its just like Disneyland.” Except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Two blondes were driving to Disneyland The sign said, "Disneyland left."

They started to cry and went home.

What do the Patriots and Measles have in common? They both got to go to Disneyland, because some idiot decided to pass on something.

When I Die I want my remains to be scattered at Disneyland.

I also don't want to be cremated.

Two blonde girls... ...were driving to Disneyland. The sign said: Disneyland left. They started crying and headed home.

When I die, I want my remains scattered at Disneyland. Also, I don't want to be cremated.

When I die, I want my remains scattered around Disneyland. And no, I don't want to be cremated.

A little girl asks her grandpa, "Would you make a frog noise for me, Grandpa?" The grandpa, confused, asks, "Why?"

The little girl replies, "Dad says when you croak we are all going to
Disneyland".

Two blondes were driving to disneyland. The sign said, "Disneyland Left". So they started crying and went home.

A Blonde on her way to Disneyland... ...saw a sign that said "Disneyland, Left", so she turned around and went home.

When I die I want my remains scattered at Disneyland. But I don't want to be cremated first.

Two blondes were in a car heading to Disneyland They saw an intersection

It said:
Disneyland left ⬅️

So they started crying and went home.

Ukraine has announced plans to open Chernobyl as a theme park. They say ”Itsguuna be just like Disneyland.”


Yeah except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Two blondes are driving to Disneyland They see a sign that says “Disneyland left”

So they went home.

Whenever my boss asks, "Having fun yet?" I say, "Are you kidding, this is my Disneyland!"

because my boss is a rat, my co-workers are goofy and this is a Mickey Mouse operation.

A man saves up enough money to take his kids to Disneyland... ...when he goes to tell them about it, his son says "Thank you so much, daddy! When are we going?"

"Well, whenever we save up enough to come back."

Why did the Croissants take the Donuts and Bagels to Disneyland? They thought it would be fun for the hole family.

When I die, I want my remains scattered in Disneyland Also, I don’t want to be cremated.

Dad an Son Dad: Great news, son! We’ve saved enough money to go to Disneyland.
Son: That’s great! When are we going?
Dad: As soon as we save enough to get back.

Three blondes were driving to Disneyland... Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. When they were close to the destination they saw a sign: “Disneyland Left”. They stopped, started to cry and finally turned around and drove back home.

I didn't know the Disneyland had moved to the white house ... Apparently the president is Donald and the vice is Mickey.

When I die, I want my remains to be scattered around Disneyland. I also don't want to be cremated.

What do Venezuela and Disneyland have in common? They have long food lines

Two blondes are on the way to Disneyland and sees a sign with a photo of Disneyland.

It reads: Disneyland left

Suddenly they stop and start crying.

Ukraine is opening a theme park in Chernobyl. It's like Disneyland, except the 2 metre mouse is real.

Sorry to hear that they banned your mom from disneyland... .. but at least she collected a lot of money from kids trying to put quarters in her ears to ride her.

Why didn't death row records go to Disneyland for their holiday outing? Because it was too pac'd.

What would be the number one complaint about a Disneyland movie? “The lines are too long.”

I want my remains spread over Disneyland... Also, I don't want to be cremated.