Einstein Jokes

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Funniest Einstein Jokes

After 5 long years of studying, a student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting... "Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!"

Einstein rolls his eyes, "It's about time"

Score: 1592

We all know Albert Einstein was a genius... ... but his brother Frank was a monster

Score: 1450
Funny Einstein Jokes
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They say you can’t get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the moon!

Score: 1146

A new study shows that the majority of humans alive today are better at math than Albert Einstein. Because he's dead.

Score: 467

Einstein was wrong My girlfriend makes something out of nothing all the time

Score: 285

Albert Einstein just finished his theory about space. Its about time too

Score: 237

I got a hand job from Albert Einstein the other day... It was a stroke of genius

Score: 216

Einstein developed a theory about space... ...it was about time too.

Score: 188

Einstein famously said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. But doing the same thing over and over again and actually getting a different result - that's called Computer Programming.

Score: 174

Einstein walks into a bar... The bartender asks "What's the deal, Einstein? You look like you're out of energy tonight."

Einstein responds: "Eh, no matter."

[BTW this was original]

Score: 163

Einstein is on a train leaving New York. He leans over to another passenger and asks, "excuse me, do you know if Boston stops at this train?"

Score: 155

I have qualities of both Albert Einstein and Arnold Schwarzenegger Body of Einstein, brain of Schwarzenegger

Score: 150

They say you can’t get a decent job without education..... They say you can’t get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the Moon!

Score: 149

Albert Einstein owed the inspiration for one of his best ideas to his cousin who had Down Syndrome... he had a special relative, you see?

Score: 122

Not to brag, but I consider myself as a mix between Rambo and Einstein... ...I have Rambo's intelligence and Einstein's muscles.

Score: 101

Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time, too.

Score: 93

What do you call Einstein getting a hand job? A stroke of genius.

Score: 78

So Einstein finally finished that theory of his about space It's about time too

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We all know Albert Einstein was a genius But his brother Frank was a real monster.

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Einstein invented a theory about space... and it was about time too!

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What was it called when Einstein masturbated? Stroke of genius.

Score: 59

Einstein said that the speed of light is faster than the speed of sound. However it is possible that you may hear the sound of BMW's horn before the light turns green.

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Einstein finally developed a theory about space... and it was about time too!

Score: 57

I can’t believe it’s been more than 100 years since Einstein first proposed that Time is Relative. Seems like only yesterday.

Score: 57

It took 26 years for Einstein to develop a theory about space. It was about time, too.

Score: 56

Einstein married his cousin elsa. even his marriage was relative.

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What do you call Albert Einstein giving a handjob? A stroke of genius.

Score: 50

I believe autocorrect was invented by history's most famous scientist. Albeit Einstein would disagree.

Score: 49

I never understood why being called an Einstein is bad. It's only relatively insulting.

Score: 40

It's Albert Einstein, not mine Few things are Infinite,
The Universe, Human stupidity and the amount of times you have to tell your Mother you can't pause an online Game.

Score: 38

Someone gave a handjob to Albert Einstein... What a stroke of genius!

Score: 35

Not many people knew that Albert Einstein had a brother that an evil scientist used to experiment on. His name was FrankEinstein

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Einstein masturbates A stroke of genius.

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We all know Albert Einstein was a genius... Did you know his brother Frank was a monster?

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My grandma recently claimed she once gave a handjob to Albert Einstein.. What a stroke of genius.

Score: 22

Einstein developped a theory about space And it was about time too.

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What do you get when einstein jacks off???? a stroke of genius!!!!!

(its terrible, i know)

Score: 15

I'm pretty sure that I am related to Albert Einstein. However despite all of my research into my family tree, I just can't prove my theory of relativity.

Score: 14

Have you heard Einstein's mixtape? I heard it was relatively good.

Score: 12

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New Einstein Jokes

Einstein's second wife was his cousin ... ... so I guess sometimes love is relative.

Score: 5

Albert Einstein was a doctor and scientist So was his brother Frank

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I read a headline that said "short people are less intelligent than taller people" That can't be true. Einstein was 5'7" and Stephen Hawkin was 3'5".

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Did you hear that Einstein married his first cousin? I guess it's just a relative problem.

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Einstein had one autistic brother and one brother in the military. He had a "special relative" and a "general relative".

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What is Albert Einstein’s rap name? MC SQUARED

[Stolen from Neil DeGrass Tyson]

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did you ever here about Einstein’s learning disabled nephew? You could say he had a special relative.

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Einstein famously said that insanity was doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result... ... so unless I'm crazy, I should probably stop getting out of bed in the morning.

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Einstein famously said that insanity was doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result... ... so I should probably stop getting out of bed in the morning.

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Einstein famously said that insanity was doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result... ... so I should probably stop getting up in the morning.

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Albert Einstein is one of the most respected people of all time... It makes me sad that his brother Frank isn't seen the same way.

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Einstein did tons of research on gravity. It was groundbreaking.

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What’s the difference between Albert Einstein and this baby I just killed? Einstein died a virgin.

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Albert Einstein told me I was insane one time. He told me that I kept coming back here expecting to see a new and original joke every time, even though it wasn’t possible.

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Stephen Hawking asked Albert Einstein "What do you want for your birthday?". He responded, "You.".

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After 50 years of research, Einstein had finally created his universal theory about space It was about time he did...

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After years of studying, a physics student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting... "Professor, Professor, I think I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!"

Einstein rolls his eyes

"It's about time!"

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Albert Einstein may have been a genius... ...but his brother Frank was a monster!

Score: 5

What did Einstein's Wife say the first time she saw him naked? -Gosh what a physique.

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If Einstein hadn't come up with the Theory of Relativity, someone else would have. It was only a matter of time.

*[xpost]/r/showerthoughts*

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Student runs into Einstein's office after years of study and shouts... "Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!"

Einstein rolls his eyes, sighs and says, "It's about time"

Score: 4

When i went to ask mom for gym money Me:Mom give me some money for the gym.

Mom:Will you become John Cena after going to gym?

Me:Am I becoming Einstein by going to school?

Score: 5

If I recall correctly, in the mid 1900s, Albert Einstein proposed a new theory on space, and it was about time, too.

Score: 10

TIL that Einstein married his cousin. It is all relative.

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Why did Einstein marry his cousin? Because it's all relative.

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What do you call Einstein pleasuring himself? A stroke of genius.

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My friend told me I have a really bad problem remembering names. I said, "who do you think I am, Alfred Einstein?"

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Einstein married his first cousin Apparently he was testing his theory of relatives

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The Bose-Einstein Condensate Is the coolest state of matter

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Why couldn't Albert Einstein's dad teach him about vowels? Cuz he didn't want to pay him when he said A.E.I.O.U.

Score: 2

Why was it impossible for Albert to build a house? He only had einstein

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Albert Einstein was a genius... But his brother Frank was a monster.

Score: 10

Einstein wrote a theory about Space... It was about time too!

Score: 6

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