Fantastic Jokes

I went to my first Fight Club meeting last night Unfortunately I arrived 10 minutes late so I missed the introductions but I must say I had a fantastic time I'd recommend it to everyone.

What would you call the Fantastic Four if Snoop Dogg joined the team? The High Five

Apple woke up their lead designer in the middle of the night To ask him about ideas for the new iPhone.
The disgruntled designer told them "Jack off".
The marketing department found the idea fantastic.

When I drink alcohol, everyone says I'm an alcoholic. But when I drink Fanta, no one says I'm fantastic.

When I drink Alcohol, everybody says I'm an Alcoholic.. When I drink Fanta, nobody says I'm Fantastic.

*Fantastic Ocean Life Facts* The Blue Whale is by far the world's largest animal... ...it's so big in fact that if you laid it out on a basketball court, the game would be over and the whale would die.

I have one alcoholic beverage and they call me an alcoholic But when I have a Fanta, no one calls me fantastic.

My boss texted me "Send me a funny joke" I texted him back "Sorry, boss, I'm working at the moment, I'll send you one later."
He replied back "That was fantastic, send me another!"

Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? It has fantastic food but no atmosphere.

A son says to his father... A son says to his father "Dad, I forget. Am I awesome or fantastic?"

The father replies "No son, you're autistic."

I went through an expensive and painful procedure yesterday!!! I had my spine and both testicles removed. Still, some of the wedding presents were fantastic.

When I drink alcohol... Everyone says that I'm alcoholic But When I drink Fanta... No one says I’m fantastic.

Scientists have discovered a fantastic new shade of the colour green. Its sublime

I hate being bipolar It's fantastic

I started dating a blind woman. It's fantastic. However, it took me quite a long time to mimic the voice of her husband.

I’ve started a Harry Potter themed food blog. Fantastic Feasts and Where to Find Them

How to lose weight easy Fantastic exercise that really helps you to lose weight: Turn your head to the left. Good. Turn your head to the right. Very good. Repeat this exercise whenever you are offered any food.

I went to first time Fight Club meeting last night. Unfortunately I arrived 15 minutes late, so I missed the introductions but I must say I had a fantastic time I'd recommend it to everyone

I had a fantastic threesome last night. A couple of people no showed but I still enjoyed myself.

A fantastic joke from local English comedian Tony Wallace A man rings his gran and asks how her doctor's appointment went.

"He hit on you? No Gran, I'm sure he was just being nice."

A few seconds pause.

"No Gran, he said you had acute angina."

Fantastic exercise that really helps you to lose weight: Turn your head to the left. Good. Turn your head to the right. Very good. Repeat this exercise whenever you are offered any food.

I think Trump is doing a fantastic job. Sorry, I misspoke...ISN'T doing a fantastic job.

Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The ceremony was alright, but the reception was fantastic!

I've just been reading a book all about lubricant... It's a fantastic piece of non-friction.

Two radio antennas got married... The wedding wasn’t much but the reception was fantastic !

Progress is amazing. "Whites Only" is in the past This new color safe bleach is fantastic.

Two antennas sat next to each other on a roof for years They fall in love and decide to get married.

The ceremony was not very good.

The reception was *fantastic*.

Fantastic exercise Fantastic exercise that really helps you to lose weight: Turn your head to the left. Good. Turn your head to the right. Very good. Repeat this exercise whenever you are offered any food.

One mans trash... "One man's rubbish is another man's treasure" is a fantastic Idiom.

But it's a horrible way to tell your kid that he's adopted.

If someone drinks alcohol. If someone drinks alcohol they're an alcoholic, does that mean if someone drinks Fanta they're fantastic.

- dad

I guy I know thought he was a truly fantastic lover... But it turns out all the women who told him that were lying in bed.

I just bought some of that new Emo grass. It’s fantastic as it cuts itself!

There's a fantastic bar in Helsinki where people make a habit of ordering drinks after last call... the bartender always obliges if they Finnish up quick.

Have you tried the meat in India? Person 1: Hey, have you tried the meat over there in India?

Person 2: Nah, seems like an awful long way to go just for some meat..

Person 1: You should try it. Their Delhi is fantastic!

My girlfriend asked if I wanted to see Fantastic 4. I said no, I haven't seen the first three.

You'll never believe who I saw at the gas station today! The guy who plays the human torch ! Yeah you know from all those fantastic four films, well I ran up to him and asked for his autograph, but he just kept rolling around on the floor screaming.

Why are bodybuilders great pallbearers? They're fantastic dead lifters

Why are squares fantastic lawyers? They are always right.

I really enjoy a nicely deconstructed Black Forrest cake It's fantastic, I just leave out the cream, the chocolate, the sponge and the cherries, allowing me to enjoy the wholesome Kirsch