Fbi Jokes

Two FBI agents search an office and find a hard drive with "KGB" on it... One of the agents asks the other, "Why didn't they just write '1 TB' instead?"

If the FBI needs to get into someones's iPhone without permission.. They should just call U2 and ask how they did it

Apple, the FBI, and John McAfee are sitting in an office... Only two were invited, but the third one got in through the backdoor.

So the FBI is reopening their investigation due to emails found on computers at Anthony Weiner's house. If these emails bring Hillary down, it'll be the first time she's been screwed by a Weiner in years.

So I was talking to my 13 year old friend online.... And out of nowhere she told me she was an FBI agent. How cool is that?!

If the FBI wants to get into people's iPhone's without permission... They should just ask U2

What do you call it when the FBI and DEA do a marijuana bust together? A joint operation.

Question: Can the President fire the Director of the FBI? Yes, of course. If he can put Trump in office, President Putin can certainly fire Comey too.

Clinton still leads Trump by 2! FBI Investigations.

The FBI is interviewing a bank manager who's been robbed 3 times by the same guy. The agent says, "did you notice anything distinct about him when he came into the bank?"

Manager replies, "only that each time he showed up, he was much better dressed."

I feel for Hillary Clinton The FBI found a server in my basement too. She was from Hooters I think.

"Hello, is this the anonymous FBI tip line?" "Yes, Dave."

Did you hear about the psychic midget who is wanted by the FBI? She's a small medium at large.

How do you protect your home? You put up an Al Qaidad flag, then you will have the Nsa, CIA and FBI watching you.

What do you call a barbeque for the FBI? A steak-out

What's the difference between Melania Trump and the FBI? The FBI is still coming for President Trump.

(Fixed the typo...)

The internet pre 2008 where the women were men,
the men were boys,
and the children were FBI

What does Match.com and the FBI's Top Ten list have in common? I'm not wanted on either. :/

Whistleblower reveals that the government is concealing cracks in Hoover Dam. FBI is still looking for the leak.

Why do the FBI always wear sunglasses? To protect their FB-eyes

How do you hide a million dollars from the FBI? Give it to the CIA, those two don't share anything.

The FBI raided Hillary Clinton's campaign headquarters She needed them to get in quick and destroy all the evidence.

What do you call a delivery girl who dated an FBI agent? A Fed Ex

Spouses are a lot like FBI agents They won’t ask you a question that they do not already know the answer to.

I just got a license plate that says "TRUMP" installed on my car... For some reason, the FBI keeps pulling me over.

FBI questioning a murder suspect Q: When did you go to her house?

A: Never

Q: Where are you from?

A: Ghana

Q: Did you sell or give those to her?

A: Give

Q: Who did you contact first?

A: You

Q: Where did you go after you contacted us?

A: Up

Whistleblower reveals that the government is concealing cracks in Hoover Dam. FBI is still looking for concrete evidence.

What do you call a folder on FBI's servers that contains all the intel on known child molesters? A Pedo File.

Why did the FBI go to question Sarah Palin while investigating Trump's collusion? Because she can see Russia from her house.

To the FBI guy who watches me... I know you must be crying because of all sadness you witness, stay strong buddy, ily

A man dressed up as an alien at the Area 51 Raid. The FBI showed up and said,
"GET BACK IN YOUR CHAMBER!"

A man in New Jersey testifies against the mob. To protect him, the FBI gives him a new identity in the last place the mob would look. What state does he live in now? A state of constant fear.

Welcome to the internet. Where the guys are guys, the women are guys, and the children are FBI agents.

NY, NJ Bombing Suspect Ahmad Rahami was sentenced to death for placing multiple explosive devices around the tri state area FBI and NSA have confirmed that he was using the most advanced version devices: Galaxy Note 7

Trump fires FBI director and people are comparing it to Watergate Except this time it's Firegate

The FBI closed the National Solar Observatory monitoring the sun in New Mexico. It has been repositioned to monitor Uranus.

I'll be awating the FBI's call after that one Girl, are you a limescale deposit ?

...

Because I'll scrape your remains off of my bathtub.

What’s the difference between a magic show and the FBI’s Epstein investigation? The FBI really CAN make things disappear

Trump will take his time considering new FBI director candidates... Until the Kremlin fixes its routers to give him an answer.