Hockey Jokes

Contents

Funniest Hockey Jokes

What is the difference between a feminist and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after three periods!^I^will^see^myself^out^now

Score: 975
Funny Hockey Jokes
Score: 492

I wish life was more like hockey... Who doesn't want a horn to sound when their period ends?

Score: 200

Why don’t you see many Mexican hockey players? They try to avoid ICE at all costs.

Score: 178

Women's hockey is the most dangerous sport... Twelve women, three periods each.

Score: 175

Why do Canadians do it doggy style? So they both can watch the hockey game.

Score: 170

Why do Canadian women use a hockey puck instead of tampons? Cuz they last for three periods.

(I am truly sorry)

Score: 152

What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? A hockey player will shower after three periods.

Score: 117

Why did they stop the leper hockey game? There was a face off in the corner.

Score: 115

Why do Canadian couples like to do it doggie style? So they can both watch the hockey game!

Score: 75

What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? A hockey player takes shower after three periods.

Score: 73

What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? The hockey player takes a shower after three periods.

Score: 52

Why did the referee blow his whistle at the leper hockey game? There was a face off at centre ice.

Score: 42

Why do hockey rinks have rounded corners? Because if they were 90 degrees, the ice would melt.

Score: 37

What’s the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? A hockey player takes a shower after three periods

Score: 37

Did you know R Kelly had a chance to be a professional Hockey player. Only problem was he never wanted to score after the first period.

Score: 35

Why do hockey players always make terrible birthday cakes? Because icing is not allowed.

Score: 33

What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippy chick? A hockey player showers after 3 periods.

Score: 32

What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? A hockey player takes a shower after three periods.

Score: 28

What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after three periods.

Score: 26

What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? The hockey player takes a shower every 3 periods.

Score: 24

What's the difference between a Hockey Player and a Hippie Chick? A Hockey Player takes a shower after three periods

Score: 24

What's the difference between a hockey player and a French woman? Hockey players shower after three periods.

Score: 23

What's a pedophiles favourite part of a game of hockey? Before the first period.

Score: 21

What's the difference between a hockey team and a Russian woman? The hockey team showers after three periods.

Score: 21

Why do Canadians always beat Germans at hockey? Canadians bring their 'eh' game; Germans bring their wurst.

Score: 20

Why was the leper hockey game canceled? There was a face-off in the corner.

Score: 19

What do a hippie-chick and a hockey player have in common? Both don't shower until after 3 periods.

Score: 18

I watched hockey before it was cool. They basically were swimming.

Score: 18

Why is hockey the bloodiest sport? It has three periods.

Score: 17

I was at a hockey game yesterday and I came up with this horrible joke. Why are women bad luck at hockey games? Because they never have good periods.

Score: 14

What's the difference between a hippy and a hockey player? The hockey player takes a shower after three periods.

Score: 14

Whats the difference between hockey players and hippie girls? Hockey players shower after 3 periods

Score: 10

Why did they have to stop the leper hockey game? There was a face off in the corner.

Score: 6

How does a leper hockey match begin? With a face off!

Score: 6

Why do hockey rinks have rounded corners instead of 90 degree angles? If they were 90 degrees the ice would melt.

Score: 6

Chewbacca's son enters his first hockey season Chewbacca's son enters his first hockey season this year. With his impressive skating abilities and the number of goals he scored...

Its no wonder he won the wookie of the year award.



Sorry.

Score: 5

What do a hockey player and an Amish woman have in common? They both shower after the third period.

Score: 4

What does a Polish woman and a hockey team have in common? They both change their pads after three periods.

Score: 4

['90s] Did you hear McDonalds just bought the naming rights to that new hockey stadium? They're calling it the Mac-Arena.

Score: 4

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New Hockey Jokes

QMy local hockey rink just reported that their Zamboni driver has gone missing... They are hoping he resurfaces soon.

Score: 0

Did you hear about the hockey player who broke his nose in seven places? Toronto, Detroit, Vancouver, Quebec, Boston, St. Paul, and Ottawa.

Score: 0

What do you call a Canadian fight ring? A hockey game.

Score: 2

What is the most popular hockey team in the USA? I bet it's the Carolina Hurricanes, people can't stop talking about them today!

Score: 1

Did you hear about the Ice Hockey charity that went bankrupt? No one gave a puck.

Score: 2

What’s the difference between a hockey team and a French woman? A hockey team showers after 3 periods

Score: 2

What's the difference between a hippie and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after 3 periods.

Score: 3

What do you call an alligator that plays hockey? An ice gator

Score: 2

What does a hockey goalie say when his team loses? Awh, puck it.

Score: 1

Official: The Nashville Predator's are transferring to Hollywood, CA. Hockey.

Score: 0

How did the hockey match end between the ocean and the moon? It was tide.

Score: 2

What does a woman trucker and a hockey team have in common? They both shower after 3 periods!

Score: 1

Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game? There was a face off in the corner.

Score: 2

What's the difference between a hippy chick and a hockey chick? A hockey chick showers every 3 periods.

Score: 1

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