Hilarious Hole Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Hole Jokes

If you aren't impressed with the picture of the first Black Hole you clearly don't understand the gravity of the situation

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I invented a new golf ball that’ll automatically go in the hole if it gets within four inches. Do NOT carry them in your back pocket.

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Why do Vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat? Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don't like where real meat comes from.

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Be careful today when searching "Giant Black Hole Pics" All I keep getting are scientific articles.

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My friend is really optimistic and is always telling me : "Cheer up, you could be in a deep hole filled with water..." I know he means well...

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My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water" I know he means well...

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My friend always tells me "cheer up, at least you aren't stuck in a deep hole full of water" I know he means well...

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Unfortunately my dad lost his job at the cemetery yesterday He buried someone in the wrong hole.

It was a grave mistake.

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My dad said the other day when I was feeling down, “Cheer up, things could be worse. You could be stuck in an underground hole full of water.” I know he means well.

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Two blondes fell down a hole Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."

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My GF said she wanted to try in the other hole. I'm afraid she might get pregnant, what should I do ?

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I took my finger out of her hole, and in seconds she was going down on me. I thought to myself, Man. I am really gonna miss this boat.

Score: 1029

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. “How was he killed” asked one detective. “With a golf gun.” Replied the second detective.

“A golf gun? What’s a golf gun?”

“I don’t know, but it sure made a hole in Juan”

Score: 1029

A black hole walks into a bar A black hole walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender asks if it would like food with that.

The black hole says, "No thanks, I'm a light eater."

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My friend keeps saying, "Cheer up man, things could be worse, you could be in an underground hole full of water." I know he means well

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Whenever I'm sad my friend always says "cheer up man, it could be worse. You could be stuck underground in a hole that is full of water" I know he means well...

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"The total cost would be £3000," said the funeral director. "And that includes digging the grave."

"Is that the whole thing?" I asked.

He replied, "Yes, that's the hole thing."

Score: 768

What hangs at a man’s thigh and wants to poke the hole that it’s often poked before? A key!

This is one of the oldest jokes ever recorded. It was found in a 10th century book of Anglo Saxon poetry.

Score: 662

A hole appeared in the wall around the local nudist colony. Police are looking into it.

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You should always bring two pairs of pants golfing. Just in case you get a hole in one.

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I was digging a hole in my backyard... I was digging a hole in my backyard when I found a box filled with gold coins. In my excitement I ran back in the house to tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging a hole.

Score: 544

Blonde Joke of the day Two blondes fell down a hole.

One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?"

The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see." :-D

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My friend keeps telling me to cheer up these days... My friend keeps telling me to cheer up these days. He says it could be a lot worse , I could be trapped inside an underground hole filled with water.

I know he means well.

Score: 384

Dark Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."

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I always thought the hole in boxer briefs was a messy idea... until I learned it goes in the front.

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Two blondes fell down a hole... One says "it's dark down here isn't it?" The other says "I don't know I can't see"

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A hole was found in a nudist camp wall The police are now looking into it.

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My wife divorced me because I accidentally put it in the wrong hole Fair enough it was her sister's but still...

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There's a hole in the nudist camp's wall The police are looking into it.

Score: 250

My friend keeps telling me to cheer up these days. He says it could be a lot worse, I could be trapped inside an underground hole filled with water. I know he means well.

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Why do old people like golf? Just like in their life, the goal is to get the least amount of strokes before you go in the hole

Score: 96

My mom asked me what i wanted for xmas. I told her some clothes and something small to play with She gave me underwear with a hole cut in the front

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I had been digging for a long time today. Down in the hole I found a box full of Silver coins!
In the excitement I ran back indoors to tell my wife.
Then I remembered why I was digging the hole...

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My friend keeps trying to cheer me up He keeps saying "Cheer up, man! It could be worse! You could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."

I know he means well.

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My friend kees saying ' cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole of water' I know he means well.

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I was at the gym the other night, I found a hole in my trainer big enough to put my finger in. Long story short, she filed a complaint and I'm banned for life.

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My friend keeps saying “cheer up man it could be worse. You could be stuck underground in a hole full of water” I know he means well

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I got in to a gun fight with a mexican at a golf club. I shot a hole in Juan.

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When do bakers stop making donuts? When they get tired of the hole thing

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New Hole Jokes

I always carry two pairs of pants to golf Just in case I got a hole in one

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A sun walks into a black hole... So the black hole says to the sun "Sun, I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation".

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Why did the black hole burp photons? had a light lunch

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You know how when we were kids, we thought if you dig a deep enough hole, you get to China? The NBA is going to try to find out!

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What do you get when you pour coffee into a black hole? Hyperspace.

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Some people don’t know why the black hole picture is such a big deal... Honestly, they just don’t get the gravity of it.

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Black hole goes into a bar and orders a drink. Barman: "Would you like something to eat with that Sir?"

Black hole: "No thank you, I'm a light eater."

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With the announcement of the first picture of a black hole, scientists have confirmed once you go black you never do come back

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A guy's boss who is traveling calls him and asks, "Is everything okay at the office?" "Yes, it's all under control. It's been a very busy day, I haven't stopped."

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Of course, what is it?"

"Hurry up and take your shot, I'm behind you on the 7th hole."

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Why did the golfer buy two pairs of socks? He was afraid he'd get a hole in one

^^^^I'll ^^^^see ^^^^myself ^^^^out

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Jim and bob walking down the street Bob falls down a dark hole.

Jim: hey bob is it dark down there??

Bob : I don't know , I can't see

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Why does hole need a W It would'nt be whole without it.

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Went golfing with a buddy, and I asked him why he brought an extra pair of socks. He said, "In case I get a hole in one."

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Being caught in a black hole is bad... ... as no one is able to comprehend the gravity of the situation

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2 Men are sitting in a bar. One man asked the other
-tell me do you ever take your wife in the other hole?

-no, then she would become pregnant.

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Netherland police found a little hole in the wall of women's changing rooms Policemen are looking into it now.

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What's the difference between a really good golfer and a police officer on paid administrative leave? One shot a hole in one, the other shot a hole in Juan.

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What's the difference between a male golfer and a female golfer? There's a hole in one....

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What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole it has often poked before? **A key**.

--
*Not OC. Rumored to be first joke recorded in 10th century A.D.*

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I was arguing with a black hole. Great conversationalist, but too dense to listen.

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Why don't University of Wisconsin football players ever date University of Minnesota cheerleaders? Ever seen what a badger does to a gopher hole?

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Hole in the Ground My friend said to me, "I can't believe a dumb hole in the ground filled with water is working this good."

I know he means well.

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How do you catch a polar bear? Go to the arctic, take a can of peas.
When you get there, cut a hole in the ice and place peas all around the edge of it.
When the polar bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole.

Score: 13

Dentist: “This will hurt a little.” Patient: “OK.”

Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now."

That's one hole that never really healed.

Score: 10

I went to a space museum today but was a bit disappointed... It was completely empty! Well, except for the black hole on display, but it sucked.

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Why did the golfer take two pairs of pants with him? Just in case he got a hole in one.

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Cops have released a statement on the discovery of "Glory Hole" in the bathrooms of a hugely prestigious college sorority house. Police are looking into it.

And are preparing a probing investigation.

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TIL: You can use tampons to stuff bullet holes to stall bleeing before getting the person to the hospital. That's actually what tampons were originally used for. Then nurses were all, "Wait, I've got a bleeding hole too!"

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What's the best place to find anonymous tips? A glory hole.

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Kegels are a good exercise they make you stronger as a hole

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Why do golfers wear two sets of pants? In case they get a hole in one.

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I said, "But there's a hole in this slice of cheese!" Dad said, "It's alright, just don't eat that part."

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Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one

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On old wise Chinese man once said: Better to have a hole in your hand than a hand in your hole.

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A black hole walks in to a bar It tells the bartender, "nothing light."

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Don't trust any diet advice that tells you to eat light... For that's most certainly the way to become a black hole.

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How to catch a bear First, you dig a big hole in the ground out in the woods and you fill it to the top with ash.

Second, place fresh peas all around the hole.

Then when the bear comes up to take a pea you kick him in the ash hole.

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A woman walks into the clubhouse after nine holes... "Whats the problem ma'am?"

"I got stung by a bee"

"Where at?"

"Between the first and second hole"

"Well I'd say your stance is too wide"

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What do you call it when a Mexican man shoots himself? a hole in Juan

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How to catch a polar bear First, you dig a hole in the ice,
then you sprinkle peas around the hole

When a polar bear bends down to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole!

Score: 12

Why did Susan bring two pairs of pants to her golf game? In case she got a hole in one!

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How do you catch an elephant? You dig a pit, fill it with ash, and surround it with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, you sneak up behind him and kick him in the ash hole.

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What is good for golf and bad for socks? A hole in one.

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There is a hole in the nudist camp's wall. Police are looking into it.

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Why did the golfer throw out his favourite socks? Because he got a hole in one.

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What do you call a hole filled with water? Well are you gonna answer?

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Why did the Golfer bring two pairs of pants to the game? In case he got a hole in one

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My doctor told me to to incorporate more hole foods into my diet so I ate a box of donuts.

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As a golfer, it's always smart to wear 2 pairs of pants. You know, just in case you get a hole in one.

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My first wife was too shallow for my liking so I dug a deeper hole.

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My friend keeps saying "Cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck in an underground hole full of water" I know he means well...

Score: 11

What do you get if you shoot a Mexican golfer? A hole in Juan.

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I don't always go golfing, but when I do I bring two pairs of pants... ....in case I get a hole in one

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Whenever I'm sad, my dad tells me "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water" I know he means well...

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Why did the girl quit her job at the doughnut factory? Because she was fed up with the hole business.

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I'm so poor I'm so poor that for Christmas my mom cut a hole in my pants so I would have something to play with.

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Why did Tiger Woods bring three socks instead of two? In case he got a hole in one.

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I wear two pants when I go golfing Just in case I get a hole in one

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I was going to tell a story about a Black Hole.... But it sucks.

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How do you capture a polar bear? 1. Dig a hole in the ice.

2. Place a bunch of peas around the hole

3. When the bear comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

Score: 8