Hilarious India Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest India Jokes

What's the best dating service in India? Connect the dots.

(I'll see my self out.)

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The three most well known languages in India are English, Hindi, and... JavaScript

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Why aren't broken bones a problem in India? Everyone is already in a caste

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Why is india such a peaceful country? There is no beef there

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What did the kid say to his mother right before he went to India? Mumbai

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Why do India never qualify for the world cup? Because whenever they get a corner they open a shop.

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How did Christopher Columbus find India? He used Apple Maps.

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I would make a joke about your mom but cows are holy in India

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I feel like there should be a travel book for India called “A definitive guide to India: The Hindus and the Hindont’s”

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Being an Indian, my white friends asked me about what Indians did during the festival of Diwali... They got very happy and asked me to take them to India the next time. I don't know what's there to be happy about. I just told them " We blow crackers."

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My Indian engineering teacher told us this today Growing up in America, you've probably heard your parents say, "Eat your food, there are starving children in India." But I tell my children, "Do your math homework or an Indian child will eat your food."

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What do you call a war between india and the UK? The empire strikes back.

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What's India's most popular dating service? Connect the Dots.

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TIL that India is installing 15000 CCTV cameras in Delhi for Obama's visit. This is ridiculous.
Just because he's black doesn't mean he'll steal anything.... When will the world stop this Racist behaviour ?

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What do you call a surprise party in India? Arranged marriage

p.s. I'm an Indian living in India.

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In India, you don’t drive on the left of the road.. you drive on what is left on the road.

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Just now, from my dad: Have you heard the new Christmas carol from India? We Vishnu a Merry Krishnas.

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What do children in India say to their mothers before they go to school? Mumbai

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We need more hospitals and doctors in Punjab, India...urgently! There are a lot of Sikh people out there

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I came back from holiday in India with a really heavy case of diarrhea... ...but they wouldn't let me take it through customs.

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So you know how Gandhi walked a lot around India until he was an old, feeble man? I hear he also had really bad breath... He was a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.

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The English Teacher in India Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".

Student: I is the....

Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".

Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

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India and Pakistan calling each other out Kashmir Outside

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Kim Kardashian arrives in India for the first time, she walks out of the airport, and to her surprise, everyone on the streets stops, turns towards her, and kneels in humility and reverence Little did she know, they worship cows over there!

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What do they call divorce in India? Re-arranged marriage

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What is India known to produce the most of? Indians

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Why didn't the president of India do anything about the bread shortage? It was a naan-issue

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When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.

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I'm thinking about opening a clothing store. Half the store will carry only traditional, colorful women's gowns from India, and the other half will carry everything else. I'm going to call it Sari/Not-Sari.

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Did you hear about the shop that just opened in India that sells fresh meat and cheese? It's a new deli.

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I like my women how I like my cigars Seven years old and in a burlap sack from India

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An American mistakes a Hindu from India as a Muslim from Pakistan Indian guy goes "Excuse me sir, you seem to have mistaken me for a Muslim from Pakistan. I belong to 711 not 911."

I will show myself out.

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I call India frequently yet i don't know anyone there. " 'ello IT support? "

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Why India never qualified for football World Cup? Because every time they got a corner ,they opened up a shop .

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A friend of mine messaged me to say that he's been bitten by a snake on holiday in India. How on earth does a snake manage to organise a holiday in India?

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What do you call an American that goes to India to "find themselves" Gora the explorer

(Gora means white/very light skin tones in Hindi)

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This woman in India has given birth... This woman in India has given birth to a 23 pound boy.

Doctors say they expect the kid to be walking 6 months before his mum.

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Have you tried the meat in India? Person 1: Hey, have you tried the meat over there in India?

Person 2: Nah, seems like an awful long way to go just for some meat..

Person 1: You should try it. Their Delhi is fantastic!

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If India was to break out into a civil war right now... It could technically be considered the Third World War.

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New India Jokes

Whant do you call Idiot in India? Modibhakt.

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I spent the holidays with my friend and his family who were visiting from India When the wifi went out in the middle of a movie, all of their names changed to 'Steve from Texas.'

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In India when you call on your own number You hear "the person you are trying to reach is currentely busy".

Can you be more free?

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Did you guys here about the opening of a new retail establishment that sells a selection of fine, unusual or foreign prepared food in the capital in India? Or as I like to call it, a new deli in New Delhi

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India just lauched a second moon mission. Is... Is someone gonna tell them we only have one moon

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How did I get from India to Iraq? Iran.

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Why was the Jamaican man doubting that he swam in india Because he was in De Nile

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If India ever hosted Nascar would it be called Namascar?

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Where do tourists in India eat? In the Delhi or New Delhi.

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Texas is a lot like India Steaks are rare

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What do you call propaganda from India? Propaghandi

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Indian food An American comes to India and tries out the local food. Soon after he rushes to the toilet. He comes out swearing.
"I now know why Indians use water, if they used paper it would catch fire!"

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Today I saw a car stop at a zebra crossing in India to let one person cross... but then I realised it had just run out of fuel.

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If beer is basically bread in a bottle, what is beer from India? Naan-alcoholic

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A foreigner is talking to his friend in India. He says, "Wow! This is a cool country! Not like my boring state. This is not my state."

And an Indian guy looks to him and says, "Namaste."

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A guy sent his wife to India after she retired He heard they have cow retirement centers there.

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A fashion designer combined the national dress of India with the carefree styling of Polynesia. He's calling it his "Sari,Sarong number."

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I called a suicide hotline in India... They told me to try turning it off and turning it back on again.

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Marriages of x and y are = x + y That marriage in India will be ( ∫xdx + ∫ydy)^x*y

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In a few weeks it'll be all over for me and relaxing! I'll be on vacation to India in December.

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Democratic Difrence Between Usa & India Democratic Difrence Between Usa & India. In Usa U Can Kiss In A Public Place But Can’t Susu. In India U Can Susu In Public Place But Cant Kiss.

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