Hilarious Knee Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Knee Jokes

Score: 649

Why do Chicken Coops have two doors? Because if they had four doors, they would be a chicken sedan. *slaps knee*

Score: 552

A joke my late grandfather told me... Never get on one knee for a girl who won't get on two for you.

Score: 233

Did you hear about the 80 year old woman that tried to kill herself? She was told that the most effective way would be to shoot herself through the heart, just below her left breast... She woke up in hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.

Score: 194

How did Barack propose to Michelle? He got on one knee, pulled out a ring, and said "I don't wanna be obamaself."

Score: 147

Mickey Mouse "Doc, my knees hurt!" Doctor: Which knee?

Mickey: Disney

Score: 125

Which athlete was the first to take a knee? Tonya Harding.

Score: 86

How did Barack propose to Michelle? He got down on one knee and said: "I don't want to be obamaself"

Score: 85

Goofy tripped over a stone and got hurt Mickey Mouse : Hey Goofy ! Are you okay?

Goofy(crying) : No i got hurt on my knee!!

Mickey Mouse : Oh No ! Which knee?

Goofy(pointing to his leg) : Disney

Score: 81

What's in the middle of girls' legs? Their knee.

Score: 76

A grandmother goes to the doctor A grandmother goes to the doctor and asks: "Where is the heart?"
The doctor answers: "2 centimetres below the nipples"
Next day in the newspaper: "Woman tries to commit suicide and shoots herself in the knee"

Score: 66

My fiance, feeling a bit under the weather, just blurted out this knee-slapper at 3AM... Why does Bill Nye get sleepy after writing calligraphy?

Because of the Nye Quill.

Score: 63

What did one prostitute's knee say to the other? Nothing. They never met.

Score: 60

What did the child say when he bumped his knee? Ow, my kidney.

Score: 60

Most people have weird things that turn them on But as a doctor I get my kicks from knee cap reflexes.

Score: 50

I lost both my legs below the knee in an accident... ... and for years, no matter how hard my friends and family tried to convince me, I fought on without prosthetic replacements.

In the end it became just too difficult, so I finally accepted defeat.

Score: 47

Me: *gets down on one knee* she: OMG it's finally happening.

me: *falls over*

she: the poison is kicking in.

Score: 43

When you're down by the sea and an eel bites your knee That's a moray.

Score: 42

A man visits the doctor, telling him, “When I touch my knee, it hurts, when I touch my arm, it hurts, when I touch my nose, it hurts.” The doctor says, “Well of course that all hurts, your finger is broken!”

Score: 41

Why did the lawyer with a torn ACL still win the marathon? (OC) Because he had the power of a torn knee

Score: 37

Son, sit on my knee. What is it dad?

Son, do you know what adoption is?

Err yes, yes I do dad.

Well, your mother and I were thinking about getting you a cat...

Phew, dad.

Yes son. We thought it might be a nice present for an adopted kid.

Score: 36

What did the kid say when he bumped his knee? Ouch! My kidney!

Score: 34

I’ve just been on Trip Advisor. Nothing about how to deal with a cut knee.

Score: 31

How do you agitate an achy feminist runner? massage a knee

Score: 29

Why couldn't the bike stand up on its own? It was two-tired.

*Slaps knee*

*Prosthetic leg falls off*

Score: 28

What do you call a belt made of paper? A waist of paper. *knee slap*

Score: 23

No harm done. I got bit on the leg by a sheep today, didn't do too much damage though.

Just grazed the knee.

Score: 23

What is the difference between a man's wedding proposal and a woman's proposal? The man has to get down only on **ONE** knee.

Score: 23

How come black people are so tall? Because their knee grows.

Score: 23

I have three knees: my left knee, my right knee.. ..and my weenie.

Score: 23

I once knew an Italian born with a toe growing out of his knee. So his mom, being hilarious, named him.... Just kidding, she left him at the hospital.

Score: 21

What is the nationality of someone with many knees? Poly-knee-sian

Score: 11

Which knee is Mickey's favorite knee? Disney

Score: 9

Girls hate it when you give them gifts implying that you will somehow benefit from them as well. Take knee pads for example.

Score: 9

"I enjoy a joint every now and then" "Usually a knee or an elbow" said the cannibal.

Score: 8

What did the blonde's left knee say to its right knee? Nothing. They've never met.

Score: 7

I went to a fortune teller and they said in 30 minutes I would get dirt on my leg... I guess it's just dusty knee

Score: 7

Colin Kaepernick took a lot of criticism for kneeling on one knee for the American flag. But LeBron James is taking even more criticism for getting on both knees for China.

Score: 6

What do you call a Volleyball player who hurt her knee diving for the ball? Courtney

Score: 5

What do cannibals call shin meat? Below knee

Score: 5

New Knee Jokes

What do you call an East Indian who from the waste down, is half way stuck in the mud? Knee Deep

Score: 1

Colin Kaepernick definitely has the skillset to be on an NFL team Any team could put him in to take a knee and win the game.

Score: 0

My son saved me by donating his leg. Kneedless to say, the kid knee transplant was a success.

Score: 2

Nike and Colin Kaepernick got down on one knee for the American flag. But Nike got down on both knees for the Chinese flag.

Score: 4

Have you heard about black Pinnochio? When he lies his knee grows!

Score: 1

What dish do you serve an amputee who recently lost both of his lower legs? A below-knee sandwich

Score: 1

A child fell from his bike and scraped his knee. Don't worry, it's just a Minor injury.

Score: 2

When my truck hitch said “ “ after I hit my knee on it..... I felt that.

Score: 1

/r/funny is about as funny as the second time you heard, '... until I got an arrow through the knee.' in Skyrim. /r/jokes is like the hundredth time you heard that.

Score: 3

After tearing my anterior cruciate ligament I rubbed asparagus on my knee everyday. I don't think this stem cell treatment works for me.

Score: 1

A black person went to a doctor. He asked why he was taller, the doctor said it was because he’s knee grow.

Score: 1

How did the NY Giants salute Colin Kaepernick in 2017? By taking a knee for the entire season.

Score: 1

Did you here about that Leg Doctor He shattered his entire left leg and had to get a metal replacement.

It was a really bad case of Iron-Knee

Edit:spelling

Score: 2

What do Colin Kaepernick and Tonya Harding have in common? Both of them are famous for taking a knee.

Score: 5

They say in order to help with bonding newborns take on characteristics of their fathers. Sure enough, my son was born with large features, a furrowed brow, and complained about nerve damage from his knee surgery.

Score: 2

What do you call someone with no shins? Tony.

(Toe-knee).

Score: 2

I don't understand why people are so mad about football players taking a knee Its a solid strategy for running out the clock in the 4th quarter.

Score: 5

Why did Colin Kaepernick take a knee before each NFL game? He never had the opportunity to kneel during games

Score: 2

How do you melt a snowflake? Take a knee

Score: 4

One of my most loving memories of my mom was when I scraped my knee and she kissed my boo-boo and put a bandaid on it. It really stuck with me.

Score: 4

An old woman decided to kill herself. When she looked it up, it said "Place gun under left breast and fire." She was later admitted to the hospital with a GSW to the knee.

Score: 2

John went to the doctor... Apparently he is incapable of Bending the Knee

Score: 5

Game of thrones actors numbers leaked online Someone called Kit Harrington...

"Hello, who's this?!"

"It's Ben."

"Ben who..?!?"

"Ben-d knee."

Score: 1

How deep is a frog pond? Knee deep

Knee deep

Score: 3

An old woman is visiting the doctor "Where exactly in the body is the heart?" she asks.

"About 2 cm under the nipples." the doctor answers.

Headline of the newspaper on the next day:

"Woman tried to commit suicide. Shot herself in the knee instead."

Score: 4

One of the stupidest jokes Why are black people so tall, because their knee grows

Score: 1

What did the Chinese man say when you asked him how people walk? Knee how!

Score: 2

I told my superstitious friend I was having knee pains She said "I have been reading into astrology and its said that Capricorn, the sea-goat, has more knee pains. Are you a Capricorn?"

I said "No ma'am. I'm a Taurus, and that's bull."

Score: 4

Boy:"Hey,do you have a band aid?" Boy:"Hey,do you have a band aid?"
Girl:"NO,why?"
Boy:"I broke my knee when i fell for you "

Score: 5

All of the people in my neighbourhood often come together to shake our knees suggestively... We call it the Local Area Knee-twerk

Score: 1

How many knees do you have? Three! Your left knee, your right knee, and you heinie!

Score: 1

What do you call a quadriplegic moose wearing a Guy Fawkes mask? A non-knee moose!

Ba-dum-tiss

Score: 2

What would happen, if IT technic became a doctor? Patient: I can't bend my knee.

Doctor: [*bends his knee*] Weird, works fine for me.

Score: 5

I used to be up to date with memes... then I took an arrow to the knee

Score: 1

A gingerbread man visits his doctor... The gingerbread man complains that he has had a sore knee for over a week, so the doctor takes a look at it and says "have you tried icing it?"

Score: 1

I feel like getting on your knee doesn't really help the Black Lives Matter movement. Last time a black man got on his knees, his hands were up and he was shot in the back.

Score: 3

If acne on your back is "back-ne"... Then what is acne on your knee called?

Score: 4

What's another name for a prosthetic patella? Faux-knee

Score: 3

What did the tumblr user do when she got arthritis? Massage a knee.

Score: 2