Knot Jokes

TIL: Ropes can pass through themselves Ohh wait they can knot.

**Suggestion for you** At a formal event, roll your tie up into a little bundle right below the knot. Then ask someone, "Which of the 2 flaps do you think will unravel first?" After they guess, let it unravel and go "It's a tie!".

What do you call a tangled rope in space? Astro-knot.

The String Theory might be the answer to everything... ..but then again, it might knot.

A rope walks into a bar The bartender says "We don't serve your kind".
So the rope walks out, twists himself up and parts his hair and then walks back in.
The bartender asks "Aren't you the same guy who was here a moment ago?".
The rope replies "I'm a frayed knot."

So a string walks into a bar... and the bartender says to him, "Hey no strings allowed. Get out!" So he goes out side, messes himself up, ties himself up, and goes back in. The bartender says, "Hey, aren't you that string from earlier?" "Nope. I'm a frayed knot."

Why did the couple get married in Bangkok? Because they wanted to Thai the knot.

I was planning on doing some knitting But I will knot.

R*pe joke A rope walks into a bar

Bartender: We don't serve your kind here

The rope goes out, twists itself up, spikes his hair and goes in again

Bartender: Aren't you the same guy from minutes before?

Rope: No, I'm a frayed knot

I just watched a knot making documentary, it was really good! Especially that ending, what a twist.

A rope orders a drink... But the bartender says, "We don't serve ropes here."

The rope goes outside, ties himself up, unravels one end, and goes back inside.

"Hey, aren't you that rope?" Says the bartender.

The rope shakes his head, "I'm frayed knot."

My wife asked if we should try bondage. I said, "We'd better knot."

Tomorrow I'm tying the knot! And kicking the chair.

A joke from my 84yo patient earlier today... When a man and a woman get married, they apply for a marriage license. When two lesbians tie the knot, what do they get?


A liquor license! (read it out loud)

If one is an expert at tying knots, one does knot simply.

I don't worry about my friend whose fiancee left him at the altar I know he wants to hang himself, but he can't tie the knot.

A string walks into a bar but the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The string walks out, twists himself up, and parts his hair. When he walks back in, the bartender asks," Aren't you the same guy from a moment ago?"

The string says," I'm a frayed knot."

Is old rope good enough for a hanging? Frayed knot. That stuff is bad noose.

What is tangled rope in space called? Astro-knot

Earbuds. You can use them for music, but they'd rather knot.

What did the depressed teen say to the other depressed teen? Can you knot?

What did the shoelace say when I tried to tie it? Uh, like, can you knot?

*yessss my first original joke*

Can anybody else here tie pieces of string with their mind? Thought knot...

Would headphones get tangled in space? no, they would knot

You need to be able do your shoelaces before you get married. Otherwise you might struggle to tie the knot.

I'm going to buy some velcro for my shoes instead of laces Why knot?

What is Borat's Favorite Band Slip...
...
...
...
...
Knot!

If I were a sailor, I think I’d be pretty bad at puns... Knot!

You wanted to know if the ship was moving, or if it was just wind weather or knot, it mattered.

The Boy Scouts came up with the strongest knot in the world... You just leave a pair of earbuds in your pocket while you're hiking.

Man Bun? or Douche Knot? neither, it's a fairy tail.

What did the shoelace say to the annoying rope? Can you knot?

What was the name of Hitler's boat? Knot Sea

Built a robot to tie rope together... But it does knot work.

I read a riddle with a picture of an eye, a child, a finger pointing at me, and a knot I kid you not, that's what it was

A teen walks into a girl scout meeting. They're learning how to tie different types of knots.

The girl says "Can I join you?"

They reply "Can you knot?"

What hairstyle is best for travelling fast in a boat? Top knot of course.

- Can you tie a knot? - I cannot!
- You can knot?
- I cannot knot!
- Not knot?
- Who's there?

Why is a noose the hardest way to kill yourself? It's knot