Hilarious Marijuana Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Marijuana Jokes

I’m okay with smoking, alcohol, and marijuana. But cocaine is where I draw the line.

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Who decided to call it “marijuana possession" and not “joint custody?”

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Apparently there is bi-partisan agreement in Congress that medicinal marijuana should be allowed for the purpose of relieving arthritis pain... In other words, there is joint support for joint support for joint support...

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Sir, your son was smoking marijuana at school during the class! Says the teacher to a student's parent at a school gathering.

-- Did he say where he got it?

-- Yes! His best friend gave it to him.

The father, cleaning his tears:

-- Did he really say that?

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I told my wife I was gonna start smoking pot. She said if I did she'd leave me. I guess it's true what they say... Marijuana truly is an effective way to get rid of aches and pains.

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Apparently there is bi-partisan agreement in Congress that medicinal marijuana should be allowed for the purpose of relieving arthritic pain. In other words, there is joint support for joint support for joint support.

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I have just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.

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The surgeon general warns, "do not run while smoking marijuana". It's hard on your joints.

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If there was a bipartisan push in Congress to legalize medical marijuana for arthritis treatment... there would be joint support for joint support for joint support.

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"Whoever smelt it, dealt it..." "...so technically officer, this is YOUR marijuana"

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I watched a documentary on marijuana It was very enjoyable. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.

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I’m in favour of a bi-partisan agreement in Congress that medical marijuana should be allowed for the purpose of relieving arthritic pain. In other words, I’m for joint support for joint support for joint support.

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Divorced couples in Colorado are having trouble deciding who gets the Marijuana... The judges have started issuing joint custody

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Can you believe marijuana is still illegal in Jamaica? Bob Marley must be rolling in his grave.

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Why did Obi Wan Kenobi fertilize his lawn with marijuana? He wanted the high ground.

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Why did the cows return to the marijuana field? It was the pot calling the cattle back.

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I just watched a documentary on Marijuana. I recommend all documentaries be watched this way.

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I’m ok with cigarettes, alcohol, and even marijuana. But cocaine is where I draw the line.

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Who decided to call it "marijuana possession"... ...and not "joint custody?"

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I'm ok with marijuana, and smoking and even heroin But cocaine is where I draw the line!

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Marijuana businesses in Washington and Colorado are now allowed to use banks.. So long as they open joint accounts.

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I like my women like I like my marijuana... Chopped into tiny pieces and burned to ashes without the police ever finding out.

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I went cow tipping in a marijuana field The steaks were high

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California legalized marijuana I guess they had a high voter turnout.

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Why did the cows return to the marijuana farm? It was the pot calling the cattle back.

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I'm ok with marijuana, smoking, and even heroin But with cocaine I draw the line

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I did an exam on marijuana and ballistic weaponry. Scored high on the first part, but bombed the second.

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I accidentally let my cows graze in a patch of marijuana, and if anyone finds out I could lose everything. The steaks have never been higher.

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A dog may well be a man's best friend but a cat... ...will never tell the police where your marijuana is.

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Why shouldn't you feed marijuana to cattle? Because of the high steaks.

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A Rastaman with a bag full of marijuana walks into a bank... and hands it to a cashier. The angry cashier asks 'Sir, what is this...?' The rasta replies "Wa yah ask foolish question, mi come to open a joint account!!"

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I work at a pharmaceutical research lab, and we managed to kill a rat with marijuana today. To be fair, it took around 20 lbs of it and we had to drop it on him a few times.

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My cows broke out of their pasture, and started grazing in my marijuana field. The steaks have never been higher.

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I think medical marijuana is really good... ... for joints.

I'll see myself out.

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I just watched a documentary on marijuana They should all be watched that way

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There's a bipartisan group petitioning for medical marijuana as an option for arthritis patients. In other words, there's joint support for joint support for joint support.

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You can now major in Marijuana at some universities Guess grades are going to be a little higher this semester!

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So I replaced all of the incense in the Friar's chamber with Marijuana He's a High priest now

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What do you call a marijuana induced tragedy? Blunt Trauma

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New Marijuana Jokes

The police nearby are trying to frame me for growing marijuana in my backyard. I'm getting worried they're going to plant some evidence.

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i’m a one man act in an incredible magic show involving marijuana and cocaine... ...it’s all smoke and mirrors :)

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I can't believe marijuana is still illegal in Jamaica Bob Marley must be rolling in his grave.

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A cigarette, a vape and a marijuana leaf meet up in a bar. The shady cigarette slyly grins, ‘hey compadres, wanna earn some real quick and easy money?’ The marijuana leaf coughs disgustedly in response: ‘No way, man! I just got outta the joint.’

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A guy is opening a donut shop next to a medical marijuana shop... He’s calling it “Glazed and Confused”.

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Did you know that the IRS is now offering a tax credit for those who purchase marijuana? Yeah, all you need to do is file a joint return.

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If you are planning a robbery on a place that makes marijuana sausage... Are you casing the joint casing joint?

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A marijuana dispensary burned down. It was lit.

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TIL never deposit your marijuana in a bank account... Unless its a Joint Account.

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Who decided to call it a "Marijuana Dispensary"? And not a "Bakery"

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What type of marijuana do fish smoke? Seaweed.......,

I'll sea myself out

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Did you hear about the two guys who robbed the marijuana dispensary? It was a joint effort.

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Had to stop growing Marijuana around the ranch The steaks were too high

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Regarding the newest marijuana studies... Dear Pilots,

Please don't fly high.

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a cop pulled me over the other day and.. Cop: ur car smells like marijuana

Me: whoever smelt it dealt it

Cop: gosh dangit

Me: ur under arrest

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Why did the cows return to the marijuana field? Because the pot was calling the cattle back…

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If we legalized marijuana in Minnesota... ... we could afford to fill in our potholes.

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Did you hear about the herd of cows that broke into a marijuana field? The steaks have never been higher!

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What did Mary tell the little lamb when it asked what this green plant was? "Marijuana, Little Lamb."

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A blonde walks into a bank with a 25kg bag of marijuana and hands it over to the cashier... Shocked, the cashier asks..'What's this for?'

The blonde replies..'Me here to open a joint account'

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What do you call marijuana overdose? Blunt-force trauma

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I told my friend across the hall that I was molested by a prostitute under the influence of marijuana... He said I had a "High, diddley hoe there, neighbor!"

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Did you hear about the fight club where cows smoked marijuana? The steaks were high.

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There's a sociopathic murderer on the loose, and reports are saying he is constantly smoking marijuana. Police are calling him the weedkiller.

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Apparently there is bipartisan approval for a bill to legalize marijuana for arthritis treatment. In other words, there is joint support for joint support for joint support.

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Yesterday, both houses of Congress met to debate legalizing marijuana. It was a joint session.

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The drug dealer added sugar to his marijuana... to sweeten the pot.

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So West Virginia recently legalized medical marijuana... I guess that you could say it was almost heaven.

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They're now growing marijuana underneath the ocean I guess they'll call it..."sea-weed"!

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Do you know how I think people who smoke marijuana should be punished. Stoned.

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A Rastafarian Gentlemen walks into a Bank He hands a cashier a bag full of marijuana. The angry cashier asks 'Sir what on earth is this...? The Rastafarian replies "wa yah ask foolish question mon, mi come to open a joint account"

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What do you call a fire in a marijuana farm? A weed killer

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What do you get when all 50 states legalize marijuana? Baked Alaska.

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Why is the marijuana industry so successful right now? Cause it's full of high achievers.

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The proper way to manage marijuana stocks. Buy high sell higher.

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To be blunt I'm gonna need some tobacco leaf and some marijuana

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Did you hear about a guy who was beaten with a marijuana joint? He suffered blunt force trauma

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Scientists have found a chemical in marijuana that can be used to develop a cheap printer ink. The first *stoner* cartridges ship in early 2018.

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What happened to the marijuana when the stoners divorced? They got joint custody

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Marijuana tax revenue used to prevent bullying. Surplus marijuana tax revenue in Colorado will be used to prevent bullying in the state’s schools. It will be the first time that drug money is used to buy waterproof calculators.

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A small village soup chef tried to make a bit of extra money on the side, selling boullion cubes laced with marijuana... It was the laughing stock of the whole town.

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Hot Air Balloons are like Marijuana... The more you blaze it, the higher you become.

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I accidentally planted some marijuana seeds on my farm It's all gone to pot

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A farmer invested $10 million of his own money for a research on 'effects of Marijuana on cattle'. The steaks were high.

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Saudi Arabia Where you can get caught with marijuana and still get stoned.

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