Mexico Jokes

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Funniest Mexico Jokes

If Donald Trump becomes President I'm going to Mexico. Not by choice though.

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Trump's wall will cost 21.6 billion, Nasa's budget is only 19 billion Probably because Mexico has more aliens

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Funny Mexico Jokes
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My friend’s girlfriend is pregnant, and he is thinking of a name for the past few weeks. Finally he decided on Carlos and ran away to Mexico.

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2020 Olympic high jump results Gold - Mexico

Silver - Mexico

Bronze - Mexico

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What borders stupidity? Canada and Mexico.

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in mexico, we don't say "I love you" cause we dont speak english.

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They should send Hillary Clinton to the U.S. Mexico border Since no one can get over her...

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Swimming in the Ocean I while back I was sitting on a beach in Mexico watching this guy in the ocean screaming "HELP SHARK, HELP!" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.

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Why did I quit my job in Mexico? It didn't peso well.

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Mexico's president says he will not go to the U.S. for a meeting with Trump The wall's not even finished and it kept a Mexican out!

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If Trump wins, I think I may know what will happen to New Mexico [Removed]

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People should not move to Canada because of Trump They should go to Mexico, then at least there will be a wall between them and Trump.

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2 cars had a head-on collision in Mexico today.. 34 people died.

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Why am I against Donald Trump's wall idea? It will make fleeing to Mexico more difficult when he ruins our country.

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What do you call the top wealthiest people in Mexico? The Juan percent.

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TIL Dr Dre adopted a child from Mexico The child calls him his "PaDre"

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Why does Donald Trump take a Xanax when he goes to Mexico? To prevent His-Panic attacks.

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What is Mexico's favorite sport? Cross-country

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What borders on silly? México & Canada

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A German asks a Mexican if they have any Jews in Mexico. The Mexican says, “Sí, we have orange jews, apple jews, and grape jews!”

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What's Mexico's national sport? Cross-country

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Did you guys hear about the 4 car accident in Mexico? ...94 people died.

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Justin Bieber has been kidnapped! They want $100 million and a charter plane to Mexico or else they will release him.

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My girlfriend got pregnant, so I've been thinking about a name for over two weeks I chose Carlos and escaped to Mexico

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What is the most popular novel in Mexico? Tequila mocking bird

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What's the most popular book in Mexico? Tequila Mockingbird

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Why doesn't Mexico have a good Olympic team? Because everyone who is good at running, jumping, and swimming have already made it into the U.S.

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can jump, run or swim is already in the U.S

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4-way car crash reported in Mexico City. 86 confirmed dead.

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Mexico was pretty livid when Donald Trump announced his plan to build a wall along the southern border of the United States... ...But once it's erected and complete, I'm sure they'll manage to get over it.

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A cop pulls an illegal immigrant over near the US-Mexico border and asks "Papers?" The immigrant responds "Scissors" and drives away

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Instead of a wall we should put up a giant mirror So when Mexicans try to cross they will read "welcome to Mexico" and turn around.

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My uncle in Mexico is pretty upset about Trump's border wall... But he'll get over it.

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A huge earthquake shook Mexico Around 3000 people died.
The world combined efforts to help Mexico during these hard times.
England gave medicine.
France sent food.
Germany made huge donations.
USA sent 3000 Mexicans to replenish the stock

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How do they play basketball in Mexico? Juan on Juan

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[Politics] Illegal immigrants are lucky The government is helping them escape the US

...and into mexico, where a booming ladder industry is providing plenty of jobs

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Do you know the biggest difference between Mexico and China? China paid for it's wall.

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because very one who can run, jump, climb, or swim is already in the US.

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What's the difference between an American tourist in Mexico and a spanking? A spanking rattles the buns, and an American tourist in Mexico battles the runs

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New Mexico Jokes

Why has Mexico not been effected by the virus? Because a Corona a day keeps the virus away

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What do they call Bartels & James’ wine coolers in Mexico? Dos Okies

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Why doesn’t Mexico have a good olympics team? Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim are already in the U.S.

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What’s the similarity between Mexicans and people from New Mexico? On any given day there are a couple million New Mexicans.

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Why cant Mexico win the Olympics Cause everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the us

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What is Trump’s least favorite part of Mexico? Puerto Rico.

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What do you call a mexican hoe? A mexico Joe

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The FBI closed the National Solar Observatory monitoring the sun in New Mexico. It has been repositioned to monitor Uranus.

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What is Mexico most feared 3 words for the last 24 years ? Round of 16

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It looks like Mexico IS in fact sending their best But they're going to Russian and not the US

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Mexico doesn’t have a Olympic Team... because all the mexicans who can run, jump and swim are in the U.S.

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Did you hear about the Kidnapping in Mexico? He woke up.

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They’re finally making the wall with Mexico It will be made out of Hillary’s emails. Nobody can get over them.

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They ask a white supremacist if we should change the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of US . . . He replies: I don't care, as long as it's Not Sea ...

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What do you call a small tunnel in Mexico? A bore-itto

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There was this really hot guy on the beach when I was in Mexico, so I brought him some Jewish bread. He gave me a weird look, subsequently turned me down...and I don't understand *why.*

*I just wanted to challah at a Playa.*



^I'm ^sorry

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What number do you call for emergencies in Mexico? 9-Juan-Juan

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The Paralympic World Championships in Mexico City has been postponed It's been crippled by an earthquake.

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Mexico wants to build a wall They don't want Texans flooding into their country

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because all their good runners, jumpers and swimmers are in America

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What do they call Four Loko in Mexico? Cuatro Krazy.

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Why doesn't Mexico have a good Olympic team? Because anyone who can run, jump, or swim is in the U.S.

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What do you call an illusionist from Mexico? A magic Juan.

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Why doesn't Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesn't float.

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What's the name of the best male strip club in Mexico? Peek o' the guy-o

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Scientists say they have developed a car that can run on water. Scientists say they have developed a car that can run on water. The only catch is, the water has to come from the Gulf of Mexico.

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There was a 4 car wreck in Mexico this morning. 93 people died.

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Did you guys heard about the Chinese Ship with a cargo load of Yo-yos that sunk off the coast of Mexico.. .. all 200 times..

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Leon Trotsky asks a travel agent if they have any hotel rooms in Mexico. The travel agent responded by saying that Mexico would be a very ice pick.

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Donald Trump pulls out of Paris Climate Arrangement after alleged threats to interfere with the U.S. Mexico border wall. He heard "Climb-it" deal, and flipped out

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What do you call someone who does parkour in Mexico? Adobe Acrobat

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What do you get when you go sledding... What do you get when you go sledding in Mexico without a sled?

Gracias

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Why doesn't Mexico ever do well at the Olympics? Because all their best runners, jumpers and swimmers made it into America.

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I wanted to say a joke about Mexico But I didn't want to cross the line.

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If the Southern States of the US annexed the northern part of Mexico right now... The average I.Q. of both countries would go up

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What borders obesity? Mexico and Canada

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We're building a wall. Get over it! - Donald Trump We will - Mexico

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What is the most popular playground equipment in Mexico? A rock climbing wall.

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A man from Wisconsin is travelling in Mexico... when he comes across a dairy farm.

"Buenos noches, do you have any cheeze for sale?"

"Buenos, nochez"

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How is Mexico going to be able to pay for the wall? It's expensive, but I'm sure they'll get over it.

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What is Donald Trump's least favorite state? New Mexico.

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What is Mexico's National Animal? The drug mule.

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Why doesn't Mexico ever win any medals in the Olympics? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim has already crossed the border.

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What is the difference between a 14 year old boy in the U.S. and one in Mexico? A 14 year old boy in the U.S. is a freshman and one in Mexico is a señor

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What does Fozzie Bear have to say about a particular city in southwestern Mexico? Oaxaca waka!

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I figured out how to solve illegal immigration! Annex Mexico; then people won't be immigrating anymore, they'll just be moving!

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Whats the difference between the U.S.A and Mexico? What "Coke" means

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Looks like Mexico will be building a wall... They're going to want to keep all the illegal American Immigrants out.

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Why is Texas not a part of Mexico? Because Oklahoma sucks so much

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Why hasn't Mexico won any medals in the Olympics? Because all the Mexicans who can swim well, jump high and run fast are in the United States.

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Did you hear Mexico agreed to help Donald Trump build his wall? They've gotta keep all those Americans out once Donald gets elected.



Sorry, super liberal grandpa told me this one on Father's day. Couldn't help but share.

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If Trump wins, why should you move to Mexico instead of Canada? Because there'll be an actual wall keeping you from Trump

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My grandma speaks Spanish and it's hard to understand what she is saying so I've decided to read her body language... But the only thing I've been able to come up with, is that she wants to go back to Mexico, because everything is hanging south.

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Why doesn't Mexico live up to it's full potential in the Olympics? Because all the Mexicans that can run, jump, and swim are in America.

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The weather forecast for Mexico this week... Chili Today, Hot Tamale

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