Monopoly Jokes

Contents

Funniest Monopoly Jokes

I almost got raped in jail My family takes monopoly to seriously

Score: 11353

Been in Jail for 5 minutes and I've already been raped twice... I really need to stop playing monopoly with my uncle.

Score: 2000

You can tell Monopoly is an old game... ...because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.

Score: 1650
Funny Monopoly Jokes
Score: 1542

There should be a millennial edition of Monopoly where you just walk around the board paying rent, never able to buy anything.

Score: 1405

I almost got raped in jail I think my family takes monopoly way too seriously

Score: 1209

You can tell monopoly's an old game... ...because there's a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail

Score: 795

My brother didn't like jail My brother took going to jail really badly. He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him and smeared the walls with his own faeces.

After that, we never played Monopoly again.

Score: 735

You can tell Monopoly is an old game... ...because there's free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.

Score: 589

I almost got raped in jail My family takes monopoly way too seriously

Score: 388

If I had a dollar for every gender I'd have 2 dollars and a lot of monopoly money.

Score: 342

I've been in jail for only 10 minutes and I have already been raped and beaten 3 times... This is definitely the last time I play monopoly with my dad

Score: 306

I beat my wife and she immediately divorced me. Some people take Monopoly way too seriously.

Score: 287

If I had a dollar for every gender... I'd have $2 and some monopoly money...

Score: 219

My brother went to jail. He didn't take it very well. He was yelling insults and attacking everyone, he even threw his faeces on the wall. I don't think we will play Monopoly with him again.

Score: 210

If I had a dollar for every gender I would have two dollars and a lot of monopoly money.

Score: 196

Remember in Monopoly, when some insufferable kids couldn't agree who was banker, they'd refuse to play completely? Welcome to the shutdown...

Score: 161

My brother took going to jail really badly. He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him and smeared the walls with his own faeces. After that, we never played Monopoly again.

Score: 109

My Brother took going to jail really badly. He refused food or drink. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him, and started throwing things.

We never played Monopoly again.

Score: 103

I was asked to help design the first Monopoly board... I thought, I'll give it a Go.

Score: 99

I've always suspected my wife was cheating. Yesterday I found the evidence I was looking for... She kept the monopoly money hidden in the cushion of the couch.

Score: 94

Do you know the Greek version of Monopoly? It's called Monopoulos and you just borrow all the money from the bank.
Everyone loses.

Score: 79

I just found a monopoly set without instructions. What are the chances?

Score: 63

My brother took being sent to prison really badly. He was yelling and screaming, took off his clothes, and would not accept any food from anyone.

That was the last time we played monopoly.

Score: 55

I almost got raped in jail. My family takes Monopoly way to seriously.

:)

Score: 48

A guy walks into a Bar And asks for a beer.


The bartender: 'do you want a normal beer or a no-alcohol?'


'It depends. Do you want normal money or Monopoly's?'

Score: 44

My wife found out I was cheating and broke up with me I didn't know Monopoly was such a big deal for her.

Score: 40

You can tell Monopoly is an old game... Because there is luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.

Score: 36

I've been in jail for 5 minutes and I've already been raped twice I hate playing Monopoly with my uncle

Score: 33

I've been in jail for less than an hour and I've already been raped twice! This is the LAST time I play monopoly with my dad

Score: 30

What does Monopoly and this sub have in common? Both keep reusing the same ideas and people still buy it.

Score: 28

I've only been in jail for three minutes and I've already been raped three times. I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.

Score: 13

I got raped while in jail twice It’s not fun playing monopoly with my uncle

Score: 11

The weird thing about the game Monopoly Is that only one company can make it.

Score: 10

I almost got raped in jail today… My family takes Monopoly way too seriously…

Score: 9

When I went to jail, i walked up to the biggest guy and punched him as hard as I could. That's the last time my dad played monopoly with me.

Score: 8

If I got a dollar for every gender, I'd have $2, two fifty cent coins and a bunch of monopoly money.

Score: 5

I always get raped in jail... I hate playing monopoly with my uncle.

Score: 3

If I had a dollar for every gender created in 2016 I'd have one million dollars, unfortunately it would be in monopoly money because none of them are real.

Score: 3

My brother got sent to jail He wasn't taking it very well, and got quite angry. He started destroying houses in my street and finally stopped when he got to the hotel.

That's the last time I play monopoly with him.

Score: 3

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New Monopoly Jokes

Monopoly is so unrealistic! I mean, really. Everyone starts off with the same amount of money? Rich people go to jail? Come on.

Score: 1

My nickname in bed is monopoly Because I take two hours to finish

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What's Joseph Stalins least favourite board game? Monopoly.

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Did you hear that they removed some Monopoly game pieces? I guess they were thimbles of an older time.

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