Hilarious Monster Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Monster Jokes

We all know Albert Einstein was a genius... ... but his brother Frank was a monster

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Everyone knows Albert Einstein was a genius... but his brother, Frank, was a real monster.

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People shouldn't be shamed for their kinks. Me, I get really turned on when someone smells like musty sweat and coal. But I always get called a monster when I admit to being attracted to miners.

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Everyone pees in the pool... But you do it once from the high dive and you're some sort of monster.

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How do you scare a child? Tell them that a monster is in the closet. How do you scare a conservative? Tell them that *their* child is in the closet!

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How does a pirate greet a sea monster? What's Kraken?

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What do you call monster made out of blood? A hemogoblin

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Dracula decided it was time to give his son "the talk" Dracula: You see, when two monsters love each other very much, they-

Son: They do the mash

Dracula: *nodding* They do the monster mash

Score: 106

Go to a dog shelter to find a dog, you're a hero. Go to a women's shelter to find a wife, you're a monster.

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What's a homophobic child's worst nightmare? A monster coming out of the closet

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I never understood how Dr. Frankenstein got overpowered by his monster... ... I mean, the guy was an amazing body builder.

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We all know Albert Einstein was a genius But his brother Frank was a real monster.

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What do you call the Loch Ness monster on drugs You're high ness

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Good night kids Me : good night kids

Kids : good night dad

Me : good night monster under the bed who eats bad kids

Wife ( through radio under the bed) : good night

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THE 5 Secrets to a perfect marriage 1. Have a wife who is a great Cook
2. Have a wife who is great at cleaning
3. Have a wife who is a monster in bed
4. Have a wife who is great with your kids.
5. Make sure those 4 women NEVER MEET.

Score: 43

People are hypocrites My friend got called a hero for donating a kidney, but when I turn up to donate 10 they call me a monster!

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He Made A Monster Dr. Frankenstein entered a bodybuilding competition and discovered he had seriously misunderstood the objective

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A man and wife went to a new dance club... The first song was "The Twist," so they did the twist.

The second song was "The Monster Mash," so they did the monster mash.

The third song was "Come on, Eileen." They were thrown out.

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Did you hear about the boy who survived being run over by a monster truck? When reporters interviewed him at the hospital he was alert and said that he just felt very tired.

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The flying spaghetti monster never died... He pastaway.

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We all know Albert Einstein was a genius... Did you know his brother Frank was a monster?

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Why did the sea monster eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes? No one can eat just one potato ship.

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What do you call a fake Flying Spaghetti Monster? An impasta.

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Stupid joke I made when I was young What do you call a fat monster who’s okay-at-best at his job?

Meaty ogre

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We all know that Albert Einstein was a genius... But his brother Frank was a monster!

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Hey! Did you hear about the monster with five legs? His pants fit like a glove

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What do you call a milk monster that wants to take over the universe? >!Galactose!<

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Dr. Frankenstein is experimenting with a new monster made with a cheese body. It's Frankenstein's Muenster.

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What's the difference between Frankenstein and The Cosby Show? On the Cosby Show, he was both the doctor and the monster.

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In three seconds, anagram the word SNIGGER into a derogatory term for a group of people based on a distinct physical trait. The word we were looking for is GINGERS. You monster.

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What did Mike Wazowski call his tattoo parlor? Monster's Ink.

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What time did the Monster eat the prime minister? 8PM

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Albert Einstein was a genius... But his brother Frank was a monster.

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Abort a baby at 1 month, nobody cares. Abort it at 24 months, suddenly you're a monster.

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I don't know why women have a fascination with Twilight. The reason being, vampires and women are entirely different. One is a blood sucking monster that preys on the helpless and the other are vampires.

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What do you call a Baby with no arms and no legs.... A Monster

(from my 3 year old!)

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There's a homophobic monster under your bed... That hates the monster in your closet.

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What has 140 metal teeth and holds back the world's biggest monster? My zipper.

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how did Cookie Monster decide who'd win the oscars? he went through all the nom-nom-nominations.

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What do you call an awful Halloween night handjob? The Monster Mash

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New Monster Jokes

Why does Frankensteins monster always look so unhappy? Why does Frankensteins monster always look so unhappy?

Would\`nt you be unhappy if you had your nuts on the side of your neck!

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What has 78 teeth and holds back a monster? My Zipper

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Deep at the bottom of the darkest trench off the ocean lives the most feared sea monster to ever exist. The Kraken, Urbutt.

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A monster was silent and moved his body to express himself. What is his name? Frankenmime

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What’s a scary monster that can fit on your finger? The boogy man.

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Which monster do u kill to get high Medusa cause you'll be stoned

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What do you call a monster that blows? A windigo

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Alfred Einestein was a genius But his brother Frank was a monster

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Albert Einstein may have been a genius... ...but his brother Frank was a monster!

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Have you seen the nails on Frankenstien's monster? Screws with your head

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Senator Al Franken introduces a new hoppy flavor of energy drink with a thick foamy head. However, it seems no one likes Franken's Stein Monster.

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What has a hundred teeth and holds back a monster? My zipper.

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Yo momma so fat....... She got in a monster truck and made it a low rider.

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What do you get when you cross BBQ'ed pork with a gigantic sea monster? Release the Kracklen!

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I think girls hate Ducatis, Whenever I offer them a ride on my monster they just scoff and walk away.

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What's the difference between The Cosby Show and Frankenstein? Cosby was both the doctor and the monster.

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and the Chupacabra? One is a monster that scares Mexicans, the other eats their goats.

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What do you do when you see a blue monster? Cheer him up

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How do you reach the Flying Spaghetti Monster? You have to sail pasta seas.

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At what time was Justin Trudeau eaten by a monster? Ate P.M.

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Irish Nessie Over in Ireland, in a lake near Dublin, thay have their own Nessie.

It's a monster that likes to ring doorbells.

It's a knock-less monster.

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If Cookie Monster was going to eat a country, what country would he eat? Viet-nom-nom-nom-nom

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Elliot Ness, Cookie Monster, and John Locke start a law firm. Locke Ness Monster.

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