Mosquito Jokes

Contents

Funniest Mosquito Jokes

Confucius Say It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve a problem without violence.

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Funny Mosquito Jokes
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Mosquito bit me 8 times. Mosquito byte.

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A mosquito bit Hillary Clinton the other day... It was later found to have hit itself in the back of the head with a fly swatter.

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What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scaler.

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I saw a mosquito flying over my head and i caught it Then, I took off its wings and I shouted to it "Go Fly!"
but it didnt fly.
Conclusion: Mosquitoes go deaf when you remove their wings

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What's the difference between me and a mosquito? A mosquito will stop sucking after you slap it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

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What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a rock climber? You can't. A mosquito is a vector, but a rock climber is a scalar.

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It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles, that you realise... ...there is always a way to solve problems, without using violence.

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What do you get when you're bitten by a mosquito wearing a fedora? M'laria

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What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing! You can't cross a vector with a scaler.
(Great math joke that came up in Calculus the other day)

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I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. "Something that buzzes and is guaranteed to drive me crazy" she replied.

So I bought her a pet mosquito.

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Did you hear about the mosquito comedian? He was malarious.

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What Africa Really needs If only Africa had more mosquito nets

Then every year we could save millions

Of mosquitos from dying needless from aids

\- Jimmy Carr

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What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar.

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*Tips fedora at a mosquito* M'laria

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*tips fedora to mosquito* M'laria

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What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito will stop sucking when you smack it.

*Heard this from my hubby last night.

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What does the neckbeard mosquito say to the female mosquito? M'laria

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What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

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Whats the difference between a blond and a mosquito? If you slap a mosquito it will stop sucking!

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What’s the difference between a mosquito and a hooker? The mosquito stops sucking when you smack it...

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What do you get when you combine a mountain climber with a mosquito? Nothing! You can't cross scalars and vectors.

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What do you get if you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber? No one knows. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

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Mosquito bit me 8 times. Mosquito bytes

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What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking!

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whats the difference between your sister and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it

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What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? If you slap the mosquito it stops sucking

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What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? The blonde doesn't stop sucking after you smack it.

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Why did the cockroach break up with his mosquito girlfriend? He saw her sucking someone else.

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Father and son go on a kayaking tour When they get home Mom notices he has a swollen black eye.

Mom: "Omg, what happened to your eye?"

Son: "There was a huge mosquito in the kayak"

Mom: "Did he bite you?"

Son: "Nope, Dad killed it with the paddle"

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What's the difference between your mum and a mosquito? When I slap your mum, she doesn't stop sucking >:)

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Yesterday 8 mosquitoes bit me! I guess I now have a mosquito bite

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If only Africa had more mosquito nets... then every year we could save millions of mosquitos dying needlessly of aids.

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What's the difference between a ho and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.

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A teacher asked learners in a class, what's the difference between a mosquito and a fly? All learners kept quiet except Mike Mike: a mosquito can fly but a fly can't mosquito

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A mosquito landed on Vladimir Putin's arm the other day... It was later found to have swatted itself in the back of the head.

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What happens when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar.

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Stealing mosquito repellent... Jacking Off!©

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New Mosquito Jokes

General mosquito was a viscious man. So it was great news to hear that he had been killed by... General Mosquito Spray.

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What is the difference between a fly and a mosquito? A mosquito can fly but a fly cannot mosquito.

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What happened to the biologist who swallowed mosquito larvae? She pupaed her pants.

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Once in a lifetime What is once in a lifetime opportunity?

A mosquito sitting on your wife's face.:😛

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Once in a lifetime opportunity… Unknown: Define once in a lifetime opportunity.
Unknown: A mosquito, landing on your wife's face.

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What's the difference between a scalar and a vector? One climbs mountains and the other's probably a mosquito.

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What d'you get if you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito? You can't cross a scalar with a vector.

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Whats the difference between a mosquito & a hot blonde chick? A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it

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What did the Russian athlete say when he was stung by a mosquito during the Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro? zika blyat

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Why was the young mosquito up all night and stressed out? He was studying for a blood test

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