Mosquito Jokes

Confucius Say It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve a problem without violence.

Mosquito bit me 8 times. Mosquito byte.

A mosquito bit Hillary Clinton the other day... It was later found to have hit itself in the back of the head with a fly swatter.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scaler.

I saw a mosquito flying over my head and i caught it Then, I took off its wings and I shouted to it "Go Fly!"
but it didnt fly.
Conclusion: Mosquitoes go deaf when you remove their wings

What's the difference between me and a mosquito? A mosquito will stop sucking after you slap it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a rock climber? You can't. A mosquito is a vector, but a rock climber is a scalar.

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles, that you realise... ...there is always a way to solve problems, without using violence.

What do you get when you're bitten by a mosquito wearing a fedora? M'laria

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing! You can't cross a vector with a scaler.
(Great math joke that came up in Calculus the other day)

I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. "Something that buzzes and is guaranteed to drive me crazy" she replied.

So I bought her a pet mosquito.

Did you hear about the mosquito comedian? He was malarious.

What Africa Really needs If only Africa had more mosquito nets

Then every year we could save millions

Of mosquitos from dying needless from aids

\- Jimmy Carr

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar.

*Tips fedora at a mosquito* M'laria

*tips fedora to mosquito* M'laria

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito will stop sucking when you smack it.

*Heard this from my hubby last night.

What does the neckbeard mosquito say to the female mosquito? M'laria

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

Whats the difference between a blond and a mosquito? If you slap a mosquito it will stop sucking!

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a hooker? The mosquito stops sucking when you smack it...

What do you get when you combine a mountain climber with a mosquito? Nothing! You can't cross scalars and vectors.

What do you get if you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber? No one knows. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

Mosquito bit me 8 times. Mosquito bytes

What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking!

whats the difference between your sister and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? If you slap the mosquito it stops sucking

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? The blonde doesn't stop sucking after you smack it.

Why did the cockroach break up with his mosquito girlfriend? He saw her sucking someone else.

Father and son go on a kayaking tour When they get home Mom notices he has a swollen black eye.

Mom: "Omg, what happened to your eye?"

Son: "There was a huge mosquito in the kayak"

Mom: "Did he bite you?"

Son: "Nope, Dad killed it with the paddle"

What's the difference between your mum and a mosquito? When I slap your mum, she doesn't stop sucking >:)

Yesterday 8 mosquitoes bit me! I guess I now have a mosquito bite

If only Africa had more mosquito nets... then every year we could save millions of mosquitos dying needlessly of aids.

What's the difference between a ho and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.

A teacher asked learners in a class, what's the difference between a mosquito and a fly? All learners kept quiet except Mike Mike: a mosquito can fly but a fly can't mosquito

A mosquito landed on Vladimir Putin's arm the other day... It was later found to have swatted itself in the back of the head.

What happens when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar.

Stealing mosquito repellent... Jacking Off!©