Mummy Jokes

A mummy calls a restauraunt. - Hello, I'd like to reserve a table for the pharaoh Sakhrakhotep I.
- Could you spell it out, please?
- Of course. Bird, two triangles, wavy line, the sun, bird again, jackal's head and a scarab.

A little boy asks grandpa to make a noise like a frog. Grandpa asks why? Because mummy said the moment you croak is when we're all going to Disneyland!

What's the Mummy's plan to destroy Superman? He's going to lure him into the crypt tonight.

Archaeologists in Egypt have unearthed a tomb containing a mummy covered in chocolate & nuts. Excited they believe it is the remains of the long lost Pharaoh Roche.

I just found out that Archeologist were recently digging in the Pyramids of Egypt and found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts. Experts on site identified the mummy as Pharaoh Roche.

Baby Whale Baby Whale says to Dad Whale, ‘Dad where did I come from?’
Dad Whale says, ‘ You came from me son, I put a seed in Mummy Whale and it grew into you’
Baby Whale says, ‘thanks Dad’
Dad Whale says, You’re Whalecum.’

A mummy calls a restaurant. • Hello, I'd like to reserve a table for the pharaoh Sakhrakhotep I.

•Could you spell it out, please?

•Of course. Bird, two triangles, wavy line, the sun, bird again, jackal's head and a scarab.

Archeologists in Egypt have discovered a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts. They believe it to be Pharaoh Rocher.

Why was the Egyptian kid confused? Because his daddy was a mummy

How does the mummy plan to destroy Superman? He's going to lure him into the crypt tonight.

Egyptian joke A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher.

Dad how are babies made? Dad: Daddy plants a seed in mums tummy.
Daughter: Does mummy swallow the seed?
Dad: Only if she wants new shoes

I keep having bad dreams about an ancient Egyptian mummy attacking me while I'm cooking. I call them my... Rameses kitchen nightmares.

"Mummy, can I lick the bowl?" "No Samantha you can flush like everyone else does"

Archaeologists digging in Egypt discovered a Mummy covered in Chocolate and Nuts Experts believe it to be a Pharaoh Roche

How does a mummy attract a mate? Pharaoh moans.

BREAKING NEWS! Archaeologists digging in a pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate & hazelnuts, and believe it to be Pharoah Rocher.

Why did you go to Egypt for honeymoon? To make the wife a mummy.

Archaeologists excavating a pyramid in Egypt has found a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts they believe it to be Pharaoh Rocher

Archaeologists have recently found a mummy while excavating a tomb in Egypt Oddly enough, the mummy was covered in chocolate and hazelnuts. They believe it to be the tomb of Pharaoh Rosher.

A new mummy has just been discovered in Egypt! It was found covered in chocolate and nuts. They believe he was called Pharaoh Rocher.

I was in the car with my son. "Daddy, why did you and Mummy break up?" he asked.

I said, "I don't want to talk about it right now."

"Why not?" he asked.

"We're on the way to a funeral," I replied, "Where we're supposed to be sad."

A mummy phones a restaurant and asks to reserve a table for the Pharaoh Sakrakhotep I... The woman at the restaurant says, “Could you spell it out, please?”

The mummy says, “Of course: bird, two triangles, wavy line, bird again, jackal’s head, and a scarab.”

Mothers on Facebook. Full time mummy is not a job. Only Tutankhamun can claim that...

Why was the Egyptian boy confused? Because his daddy was a mummy

A tour guide is leading a group through a museum in London. “This mummy here is over 5,000 years old,” the guide told the group. “It’s possible that Moses saw it.”

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A tourist raises her hand and asks, “When was Moses ever in London?”

A mummy calls a restaurant - Hello, I'd like to reserve a table for the pharaoh Sakhrakhotep I.
- Could you spell it out, please?
- Of course. Bird, two triangles, wavy line, the sun, bird again, jackal's head and a scarab.

Archaeologists digging on a Pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts. Experts believe it to be Pharaoh Roche.

Why didn't the british boy's mother ever dress up for halloween? Because she already was a mummy.

Who does a pharaoh talk to when he's sad? His Mummy.


I'm sorry.

Why was the Egyptian boy confused? Because his dad was a mummy.

A good boy asked to his mummy..... Little Charles approached his mother and asked her "Mummy, whats a girlfriend" To which his mum replied "If you're a good boy, you will get one." Charles then asked, "What if I am a bad boy?" His mum answered "You will get many.

Archaeologists have discovered a mummy in Egypt encased in chocolate and surrounded by hazelnuts They are calling it "The Pharaoh Rocher"

What did the mummy say to the other mummy when they farted at the same time? "Looks like we had a Tutankhamen."

Mummy DNA shows that the ancients don’t have much in common with modern Egyptians But at least they have Tutankhamun

Why didn't the mummy go on vacation? He was afraid he'd relax and unwind!

Today I'm going to celebrate Independence Day...... Or as my two children like to call it,

"The day mummy joined the angels."

Breaking News: Veteran Egyptologist confirms ancient rectangular object found in 5,000 year old mummy's hands is 2017 Blackberry smartphone "But that's about it" he stated, "and here I thought we'd found something worthwhile"

What does the Mummy use for commerce? Crypt-o-currency!