Hilarious Negative Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Negative Jokes

Did you hear about the math teacher who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.

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My drug test came back negative. My drug dealer has some explaining to do.

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Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers? He would stop at nothing to avoid them

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When counting down, I can't stand negative numbers I stop at nothing to avoid them.

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My girlfriend is like pi plus the square root of negative one. Complex, irrational and barely more than a 3.

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Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them

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Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

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What's Autocorrect's blood type? typo negative

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My house-mate is terrified of negative numbers He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

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My drug test came back negative My dealer sure has some explaining to do..

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Did you hear about the mathematician who was scared of negative numbers? He'd stop at nothing to avoid them...

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Your momma's so fat, she's like the negative cosine of X... They both go down after pi

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I never misspell words. My blood is typo negative

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Ever hear of the mathematician that was afraid of negative numbers? He stopped at nothing to avoid them.

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There was a drug test at work today... Mine came back negative. My dealer owes me an explanation.

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You know what sucks? Negative Pressure

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I got my IQ test results back They were negative.

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I heard that, while a double negative makes a positive, a double positive doesn't make a negative... Yeah right.

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How many members of a particular ethnic minority does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Enough to reinforce my negative stereotype about them.

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My girlfriend is like the square root of negative one hundred A perfect ten, but imaginary

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I'll stop at nothing... ...to avoid using negative numbers.

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How do you tell an optimistic tree from a pessimistic tree? If it's negative, its roots are imaginary.

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The grammar teacher said "In English, two negatives make an affirmative, but two affirmatives never make a negative." A student replied... "Yeah, right!"

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My teacher said that two positives can't make a negative. Yeah right

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Drug test A couple of days ago I had to do a drug test and it came up negative. Now, I have to have a serious talk with my dealer...

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I was born pessimist My Blood Group is B negative

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Do you know about mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.

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2 people walk into a building... and 3 come out. A logistician says "There must have already been a person in the building". A biologist says "They must have reproduced", and a mathematician says "There are now negative one people in the building"

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Someone once told me: In English, a double negative forms a positive. In some languages like Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language does a double positive form a negative. Yeah, right.

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Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them

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My girlfriend is like the square root of a negative 100... She's a perfect 10! But she's also imaginary.

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I hate negative numbers. I'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

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Two atoms bump into each other, and become stuck. "Oh, no," said the first atom. "We're going to be stuck like this forever!"

"It'll be okay. Try not to be so negative! Think positive for a second."

The first atom thought real hard, and the two flew apart.

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My goal in life is always turn the negative into the positive... which is why I lost my job at the HIV clinic

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My girlfriend is like the square root of negative 100 A perfect 10 and imaginary

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After many years as an accountant, I was asked to take a personality test. The results came back negative.

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A white supremacist gets tested for diseases So much for their "pure blood" claim, the only thing that came up negative was their IQ test.

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How many black people does it take to start a riot? Negative 1

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Double positives One day, during a lesson at the community college, the professor is explaining how a double negative will always be positive but a double positive can never be negative.

To which his student replies "yeah right"

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New Negative Jokes

The pope just twated negative for the coronavirus Which is a good thing since touches alot of people day to day.

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Listen, I've smoked pot everyday for 17 years and I can't think of any negative consequences. Seriously, help me out here.

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An MIT professor once said:"In all of the worlds languages, never can two positives make a negative." Yeah right.

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What did a Proton said to an Electron? Dude, don't be negative

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American Politics: How to win the 2020 election Cut interest rates to such a low level (negative) that the banks start PAYING YOU interest for your mortgage debt, consumer (credit card) debts and student loan debts.

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Did you hear about the guy who is surrounded by positive people at his workplace? Yeah. He really hates his job at the HIV clinic. He is such a negative moron.

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My grandfather was a cop. He was dying because he needed blood for blood tranfusion. Everytime we would ask "Anything you need?", he would say "Oh, Negative".

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DC Electricity is a great consultant It’s always either positive or negative

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Why does Magic Johnson love the life he lives? Because he went from Negative to Positive.

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"I can't believe it, this firewood practically burns out almost immediately." "Oh dude, that's a negative log."

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Due to the negative connotation of the phrase "colored people" the NAACP is thinking about changing their name to reflect more modern terms like "African Americans" But then they said NAAAA.

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My girl friend is like the square root of negative 100. She's a perfect 10, but imaginary.

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Politically Correct Politicians Because of its negative connotation, Waterboarding shall now be called: 'Forced Hydration.'

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Why didn't anyone talk to e^iπ at the party? He was a negative one.

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The difference between venomous snake, poisonous snake, and toxic snake A venomous snake kills you when it bites you.
A poisonous snake kills you when you eat it.
A toxic snake kills you with negative emotions.

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Why are the Sith never negative? They only deal in absolutes.

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Newly leaked documents from the Whitehouse show the results of Donald Trumps IQ test. It came back negative.

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All the other animals on the farm accused the horse of being too negative. After all, he is a neigh sayer

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I've been getting very negative news recently, but despite all of that covfefe

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In 2017 I caught up with the coffee world and bought a french press and an aero press I finally caught up and now I have to buy a godamn negative press for my covfefe.

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What chemical compound prevails over constant negative press? Carbon monoxide vanadium di-iron

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What's the difference between a seal and a sealion? A seal is neutral but a seal ion has a positive or negative charge

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My college professor talked about double negatives today He said that you could use a double positive to describe something, but never a double negative.

Yeah, right.

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With all this negative talk about Africa I thought I would mention something positive about the people there... Their AIDS test results

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What's the proper punctuation for a negative pregnancy test? A period.

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What do you call two pessimists dating? A double negative.

Credit to /u/copperbonker

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Two protons walk into a bar... And see three electrons in a corner. One turns to the other says they should leave. The other asks him why and he says "I don't like them, the always turn everything so negative".

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My girlfriend broke up with me for being a negative person. Why am I nonplussed?

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This mnemonic joke helps you remember the alphabet... Acronym

Based

Comedy

Doesn't

Ever

Feel

Good

Honestly,

I

Just

Keep

Lamenting

My

Negative

Opinion,

Perhaps

Questioning

Reality

Serves

The

Universe

Very

Well

...

Xylophone, yak, zebra.

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Why do electrons never take HIV tests? They know their negative.

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A proton walks up to an electron The proton says, "Why so negative?"

The electron says, "My wife is cheating on me."

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What do you call a negative Scotsman? A peshimist.

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Are electrons pessimistic or optimistic? Obviously pessimistic, they are always negative!

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A motivational speaker retired due to depression He discovered he had B Negative blood

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I told my friend a joke about my blood type... He said it was a little too negative.

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What subject of "How to..." book is the hardest to sell? Suicide. You'll only ever get negative reviews.

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Have you heard of the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.

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What do you call a pessimistic Mexican doing math? Negative Juan.

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An english professor said to his students there is no way to use two positives to express a negative One student smirked to his friend "Yeah right."

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What do the negative ion and the positive ion have in common? They're both in favor of net neutrality!

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Negative people There is a special place for all the negative people in the universe.
It's called the 3rd Quadrant.

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I was going to make a joke about amplifiers but I got too much negative feedback.

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Namast'ay Away from negative people.

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What do you call a negative horse? A neigh-sayer

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Booster cables are racist Because being black is negative.

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My doctor asked if I was happy with my blood test results... I told him it was definitely a positive so I don't wanna b negative

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I would joke about Oxygen... but that would be too negative.

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