One Arm Jokes

I got a strange note in my bag at the Taco Bell drive-thru last night... The lady seemed very frazzled and the note said "help there are two armed men inside."

I drove off laughing, thinking "well yeah it would take forever to make tacos with one arm"

What does an Italian have when he is missing one arm? A severe speech impediment.

I have a job helping a one armed man type capitals. It's shift work.

What do you call a kid with one arm, one leg and one eye? Names

What has four legs and one arm? A pitbull terrier in a childrens' playground

I saw a bloke with one arm and one leg was about to be hanged. ​

I started shouting out letters.

What do you call an Italian with one arm? Speech impaired.

I found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters It's shift work

What has four legs and one arm? An attack dog in an elementary school.

My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under one arm and says, “A beer please, and one for the road,”

I saw a bloke with one arm and one leg was about to be hanged. So, I started shouting out letters.

If a guy with only one arm speaks sign language, is it a speech impediment or an accent?

What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment.

What does an Italian have if he’s born with one arm shorter than the other ? A speech impediment.

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You wave at her.

I just got a job helping a one arm typist do capital letters. It's shift work.

I've found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters It's shift work

What does an Italian have when one arm is shorter than the other? A speech impediment.

What is yellow, has one arm and can't swim? - an excavator

Do you think that's funny?
Well, the excavator operator doesn't

I saw a man with one arm shopping at a second hand store. He never found what he was looking for.

Why did the French give USA the Statue of Liberty? Because they have no use for a statue with only one arm up.

People with only one arm... Am I right?

What animal has four legs and one arm? A pit bull on a playground.

One arm butlers they can take it but they can’t dish it out…

How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? Wave to him

How do you get a one armed man off a tree? You wave to him

My son just told me the school security guard got fired and the new one has only one arm. He asked, "How will he be able to break up fights with only one arm?" I replied, "Single-handedly."

In a world with no weapons, the one armed man . . . Could still have a better punchline than this.

how to you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? you wave at her.

Why did the man with one arm cross the road? He wanted to get to the second-hand shop

How do you make a guy with one arm fall out of a tree? Wave

How do you get a one armed stoner out of a tree? Wave at them..

What did the cow say to the blind farmer with only one arm? Moo

I've just got a new job helping a one armed typist do capital letters It's shift work

I've started a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters. It's shift work...

I got a new job helping a one armed typist write in capitals It's only shift work, though.

One armed butlers... They can take it but they can't dish it out.

It must suck to have one arm Until you get arrested