Painter Jokes

Why did Van Gogh become a painter? Because he didn't have an ear for music.

I always wanted to be an abstract painter. I won't go into detail.

I tried to be a self-portrait painter. But in the end it just wasn't me.

My wife was cheating on me with the painter. I caught him red-handed.

I started studying art history. I'm really learning a lot. This painter named 'Renaissance' is just amazing.

I'm writing a book about getting work as a painter. It's a primer for paint jobs.

Shakespeare Joke Painter: "Y'are a dog."

Apemantus: "Your mother's of my generation. What's she, if I be a dog?"

What do you get when you cross Hank Hill with Bob Ross? A Pro-painter.

Why was Hitler such a bad painter He could only paint reichtangles

What do you call a surrealist painter that converts to Islam? Muhammad Dali

My grandpa left me a violin and an oil painting in his will. When I took them to be valued I was told they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius Sadly, they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.

Did 'ja hear the one about the criminal painter? he was framed

What did the car-painter say to the carpenter? "You sound just like me!"

What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Painter? Mohammed Dali

What do you call a 15th century Renaissance painter who is also a crab? Leonardo da Pinci

Everyone said to Vincent Van Gogh " You can't be a great painter, you've only got one ear" And you know what he said? " “You’ll have to speak up, I’ve only got one ear”

Did you hear about the painter who died? Apparently it was due to too many strokes

What happens when a painter can't finish a joke? Sketch Comedy

How did the unsuccessful painter die? Art failure.

Why did the mathematician fail as a painter? His art was derivative.

Why was the painter fired? He lacked luster

Hitler wanted to be a painter but failed. Ended up almost killing entire ethnicities of people. He never did learn to mix the colours.

What did the painter do when he was angry? He made a scene.

Why did the painter from Boston have trouble making friends? He was way too autistic for his own good.

What do you call a painter with a brown finger? Picasso

I was talking to a painter once I asked him why did he insist on old styles, he told me that old habits dye hard

A very famous painter died recently. I don’t know anything about the case, the details are sketchy.

My painter friend died recently. He died from a stroke.

Someone pretending to be a painter told a very convincing story and stole your Mexican food. What happened? You’ve been hit by a chili-con-artist

What do you call a painter with a mental disability? An autist.

An Italian painter loved spice So he boughtachili

Why did Hitler go from a painter to a massmurderer? He couldn't paint a good picture of himself

Why is it hard to tell if a painter is sad? Because they mask it really well.

Hear about the famous chain-smoking Dutch painter? Vincent Van Cough

Who's Nelly's favorite painter? Heeeeey! Must be the Monet!

Painter sees a critic standing in front of his painting... Walks up to him and asks "What's your opinion of my painting?" Critic: "It's worthless!"
Painter: "Yeah I know, but I'd like to hear it anyway"

I’m a painter and my friend is an author I recently did a painting and sold it at auction for a hundred dollars. At the same time my friend published a short story for the same price

I guess a picture is worth a thousand words

What's the difference between someone who makes wooden furniture and someone who does paint jobs? One is a carpenter and one is a car painter

What do you call an artist that puts off his work? A procrasti-painter