Contents
Contents
Nobody ever asks how Coca-Cola is doing... It's always, "Is Pepsi okay?"
Why was the Pepsi employee fired? He tested positive for coke.
So I asked the bartender for a rum and coke. He said, "Is Pepsi okay?"
"Sure, whatever," I said.
So he handed me a glass of pepsi and coke.
Why did the Pepsi executive get fired? He tested positive for Coke.
First day on the job as a drugdealer
*giggles*
"We don't have coke, is Pepsi ok?
*gets stabbed*
The CEO of Pepsi was fired this morning.
They found trace amounts of Coke in *her system.
*I have to be factually correct.
I feel bad that nobody’s checking up on Coca Cola’s well-being. When everyone asks if Pepsi is okay.
What's the wifi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first.
Me: Okay, I'll have a coke.
Barman: Is Pepsi okay?
Me: Sure. How much is that?
Barman: £3.
Me: There you go. So what's the wifi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.
*First day as drug dealer*
*Giggles* "coke isn't available, is Pepsi ok?"
*gets stabbed*
I saw a Pepsi getting run over today It was soda- pressing
Did you hear about the Pepsi delivery drivers who were fired? They tested positive for coke.
Handjobs are like Pepsi. Never your first choice but you'll take it anyway.
I got fired from my job at Pepsi I tested positive for Coke
I just got fired from my job at the Pepsi factory... I tested positive for Coke.
No one ever asks how Coke is doing. It's always, "Is Pepsi okay"?
Guy walks into a bar and orders a whiskey-coke.
Bartender asks if Pepsi is okay and guy says that's fine.
Bartender turns around to make the drink and when finished presents the drink and says "here's your pepsi-coke."
It’s ironic Whitney Houston did all those Pepsi endorsements Then over dosed on Coke
Man orders a drink from the bar
Man: "Rum & Coke please"
Bartender: "Rum and coke? Um, Is Pepsi OK?"
Man: "Yeah, Pepsi is fine."
Bartender: "Great, one Pepsi & Coke comin' right up."
Why was the pepsi worker fired? He tested positive for coke!
I shoplifted 23 cans of Pepsi from the store and got arrested, but the judge dropped the charge He knew i stole 23 cans of Pepsi, but he said that doesn't make a case.
A man walks into a bar and asks for a rum and Coke
The bartender says "sorry to disappoint, but is Pepsi okay?"
It had been a long day, so the man said "yeah, that's fine"
The bartender turned to pour the drink, then handed it to the man.
"Here you go. Pepsi and Coke"
I got fired from my job at Pepsi today I texted positive for coke
What’s the WiFi password?
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.
Okay, I’ll have a coke.
Bartender: is Pepsi okay?
Sure. How much is that?
Bartender: $3.
There you go. So, what’s the password?
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.
Man: I'll take a rum and coke
Bartender: Is pepsi ok?
Man: Yeah, that'll do.
Bartender: *hands him coke and pepsi*
A Pepsi employee was fired today He tested positive for coke.
A latino goes to a vending machine He gets a soda for 75c. He puts in 65c. The machine says "dime", so he whispers quiero una pepsi porfavor
Did you hear about the Pepsi employee that got fired? Turns out they found coke in his system and fired him on the spot.
Pepsi just fired their CEO For testing positive for coke.
I got hit in the head with a Diet Pepsi yesterday. Don't worry, it was a soft drink.
A Hispanic man goes to a vending machine... A Hispanic man goes to a vending machine and puts in 40 cents. The machine displays "DIME" on the screen. The man gets close to the machine and whispers, "Yo quiero Pepsi"
Sean Spicer, United Airlines CEO and Pepsi's PR team walk into a bar... They're all getting fired, so drinking on a Tuesday is acceptable.
There's a lot of anger out there about the MLK speech/Dodge Ram Superbowl ad... Kylie Jenner should hand out some Pepsi to calm things down.
Why is Pepsi never the punchline of a good joke? Because nobody ever gets it.
Dicks and vaginas are sorta like Coke and Pepsi
I strongly prefer one, but my dad thinks they taste the same.
Credit: Bo Burnham - Love Is....
A latino goes to buy soda for 75 cents, he puts in 65 The machine reads "dime" so he gets closer and whispers "quiero Pepsi".
The past few days summed up
Pepsi: We just pulled the worst PR stunt of the year.
United Airlines: Hold my beer.
Sean Spicer: LEEEEEEEEEEROY JEEENKINS.
What do you call a soccer team everyone hates? Pepsi United
I almost had to go the hospital today because a stranger threw a can of Pepsi at me... I'm just glad it was a soft drink. Otherwise, I would have had to get surgery.
I feel like a plastic bottle in a Pepsi factory I'm soda pressed.
The entire United Airlines incident could've been avoided... if someone had offered a Pepsi.
Coke.
Me : I'd like a pepsi .
Waiter : we have coke
Me. : Okay , I'll take a gram of that and pepsi .
An officer asked me "Do you have any coke?" I said "No, is Pepsi okay?" The joke is I got arrested.
They always ask me at restaurants if Pepsi is okay... But nobody ever cares to ask how Coke is doing 😔
Yeah, drinking Pepsi isn’t great for my health... But at least I’m not snorting coke!
Dicks and Vaginas are kind like Coke and Pepsi
I strongly prefer one but my dad thinks they taste the same.
-Bo Burnham, songwriter for Sesame Street
A cop pulled me over and saw 4082.33 grams of Coke in my backseat I had for a party. The store was all out of 12 packs of Pepsi.
What happens when a Pepsi guy comes back to life? Reincarbonation
The secret to World Peace has been discovered!!
Everyone must drink Pepsi while having their phone carrier changed to T-Mobile and drive a Dodge Ram truck!
And make the world a better, cleaner place by using Tide!
I love my drug dealer, but him joking that he “only has Pepsi” then threatening to kill me five minutes later is getting old
An undercover cop approaches a career stoner
and asked him, "Hey man, I'm looking to score some coke."
The stoner thinks about it for a moment and asks, "Is Pepsi okay?"
What do you call a bubbly cheerleader? Pepsi.
Pepsi: Well THAT was the PR nightmare of the century.
Fox News: Hold my beer.
United Airlines: Jinx, owe me a Coke?
Pepsi: For reals?
Sean Spicer: Make it a double.
The United CEO, the Pepsi head of marketing, and Sean Spicer walk into a bar. The bar bursts into flames.
The doctor on the United Airlines flight could have avoided being beaten so easily. All he had to do was give the air marshal a Pepsi.
How we can solve the issue with Syria.... Fill those tomahawk missles with Pepsi and it's all going to be right as rain.
Jim you get a little racist when you're thirsty Have a Pepsi
Pepsi had a new idea about how to package their cola But then they canned it.
I tried selling drugs once. I tried selling drugs once. The guy asked me for some coke and I paniced and asked him if Pepsi was ok.
What is a shorter way to say "The President and the CEO of the Pepsi corporation"? Answer: Two leaders of Pepsi!