Pervert Jokes

I got fired from my job.. ..for being a pervert

I don't understand why, though, I'm always hard at work.

A con artist, a pervert, and a racist walks into a bar. The barkeep looks up and says "The usual, Mr. Trump?"

So I got fired from my job last night for being a 'Pervert' I don't understand why, I'm always hard at work...

What do you get when you cross a pervert with a pirate? AAARRRRRR Kelly

Your fetishes are nothing to be ashamed about! Unless your fetish is being humiliated, then you should feel ashamed you nasty little pervert.

Your fetishes are nothing to be ashamed of Unless your fetish is humiliation. Then you should be ashamed, you nasty little pervert.

What did the pervert say when he was kicked out of the public pool? "I was only practicing my breast stroke"

A pervert, a con artist, and a fascist walks into a bar... The bartender asks: "What'll it be, Mr. President?"

How did the pervert find the sheep in the tall grass? Very satisfying.

Whats the difference between a pickpocket and a pervert? One snatches watches and the other watches snatches

Where does the pervert keep the underwear he steals? In his briefcase!

That Rorschach guy is a pervert, all he draws are penises.

People think I'm a pervert... People think I'm a pervert because I sleep with a 9 year old. But you have to remember, dog years are 7 times longer than ours.

So when Spiderman produces a white sticky substance it's "cool" Why is it whenever I produce a white sticky substance I'm considered a "massive pervert"?

We asked 100 women what body wash they preferred: 99% replied with “GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM YOU PERVERT!”

What's a pervert's favorite train stop? Molestation

You know what really grinds my gears? That pervert who sneaks in my gear shop at night

Some pervert broke into my house today and jerked off on my wall. It’s ok though. It was a load bearing wall.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one, Michael J. Fox has a small one, Madonna doesn't have one, The Pope has one but doesn't use it, Dominique Strauss-Khan uses his all the time. What is it?

A last name you pervert.

What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? A pervert wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on his face.

What do you call a doctor who is trained in neurosurgery and is covering for a gynecologist? A pervert.

What do a vegan and a pervert have in common? They both get excited then they see a chickpea.

What's the difference between a kinky person and a pervert? A kinky person uses a feather. A Pervert uses the whole chicken.

Bonus:: Why did the pervert cross the road? He was stuck to the chicken.

My girlfriend called me a pervert... but what does she know, she's only 13 years old.

What's the difference between erotic and pervert? Erotic is when he tickles you with a feather.
Pervert is when the chicken is still attached.

What Do You Call A Fight Between an Illegal Immigrant and a Pervert? Alien V. Predator.

What starts out hard but gets soft after it comes? Ice cream you pervert

What's the difference between a daydreamer and a pervert? A daydreamer stares out of windows.

Would you like to go see a meteor shower? What are you some kind of pervert?!?

a pervert calls a retirement home an old lady picks up.

he starts directly "hey granny guess what i am holding in my hand ? "
granny replies " oh if it fits in one hand only then i am not interested "

What begins with P ends in S and is long and hard? Process, you pervert.

Whats long, hard, and gets women excited? A diamond encrusted submarine you freaking pervert.

What does a girl have two of but a cow has more? Legs, you pervert

I tried to get an overseas job with a large Christian church and they were very rude to me. A lady answered the phone and I said " I am interested in a missionary position can you help me?" . She called me pervert and hung up!

If you have a cricket ball in each hand what are you? A pervert sexualy harassing a Male cricket.

What do you call a pervert in a management position? P.I.M.P.

Is President Trump as big of a pervert as President Clinton? Close but no cigar.

What is a pervert's least favorite food? Catfish.

The first guy to suggest peeing on a jellyfish sting was called a pervert but it worked I said to my wife as she complained of a toothache