Photographer Jokes

What's the fastest way to earn money as a photographer? By selling your camera.

Did you hear about the photographer who ran out of subjects? He shot himself.

Being married to a photographer is depressing... ...they're always looking at the negatives.

A photographer had his lens fall off his camera He was fined for indecent exposure.

What does a Terrorist Photographer do? Photobomb

Did you hear about the photographer that got locked in his darkroom? He died of exposure. It was not a pretty picture.

I dream of becoming a selfie photographer.. I can just picture myself doing it.

Had to quit my job as an underwear model because the photographer kept telling me, "I'm just a cashier" and that I "need to leave Macy's."

Why was the photographer arrested? Indecent exposure.

I used to get into fights at the drop of a hat. Which is probably why I got fired from my job as a graduation photographer.

What did the photographer say when he retired? "I can't take it anymore!"

Why was the photographer always depressed? He could only see the negatives.

When I was younger I wanted to become a pirate! Now I am a photographer, because every pirate has to own a Canon.

A photographer shot his subject with a Canon. She was blown away.

I'm gonna try and shoot the whole school Said the yearbook photographer

What's the name of an Asian photographer? Phil Ming

Popeye was a really good photographer, Because he was “Popeye DSLR man!”

What do you call an unpredictable, out-of-control photographer? A loose Canon.

I'm working on a script about a mobster who attempts to reinvent himself as a professional photographer. I'm gonna call it... *The Selfie Made Man.*

I wish restaurant food looked like the pictures on the menu.
A hostess asked me how everything was.
I said, "My compliments to the photographer."

A photographer and a mechanic have a child After two long days of searching for the perfect name, they name him Cam.

The photographer was positioning my new husband and me for our wedding photos when he asked, “Have you ever modeled?”

My cheeks instantly turned red. “No, I haven’t,” I said. “But I always thought …”

The photographer interrupted me: “I meant him.”

Why did the Photographer kill himself? A. He had a problem with perspective

Did you hear about the bartender who almost got crushed to death at an Irish wedding? The photographer told all the men to stand next to the one person who made their life worth living.

Why did the photographer get arrested? He was charged with shooting kids and framing the parents.

Where does a digital photographer hang his work? On a jpeg.

Did you hear about the water thief-turned-photographer? Apparently he was a great pitcher-taker.

(Credit goes to my husband.)

I've snapped a bunch of necks Being a necklace photographer isn't too bad

I was an ISIS photographer for a while but got fired due to the way I was setting up the shots... They said I kept cutting the heads off people.

A photographer went to a Catholic church... ...and caused a mass shooting.

What’s the difference between a police officer and a racist photographer? A police officer will happily shoot a black person.

I think my photographer friend is secretly in the Air Force. He keeps asking if he can use a drone to take aerial shots at my wedding.

What do you call a chlamydia-infected photographer whose father has the runs? A snap-happy clappy chappie with a crappy pappy.

I'm a fish photographer Or as we say in 'Murica, a school shooter.

I have a photographer friend who works for a school We usually call him school shooter

Why couldn't the photographer see straight? He took too many shots.

Why did the photographer got killed? Because he was framed!

What does a church photographer and Stephen Paddock have in common? They're both mass shooters.

What do you call a photographer who conducts seances? A visual medium.