Contents
Contents
A polar bear walks into a bar.
The bartender asks what he'll have.
The bear says "I guess I'll have a................beer."
The bartender asks "Why the big pause?"
The polar shrugs. "I don't know, I was born with 'em."
A polar bear walks into a bar A polar bear walks into a bar. Bartender says "what can I get you?" Bear replies " I'd like a gin......... And tonic" Batender asks "Why the big pause?" The polar bear looks at his hands, turning them back and forth "I don't know, my dad had 'em too."
A polar bear walks into a bar
A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a brandy.........................................................................................................
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.......... and coke." The bartender asks, "What's with the big pause?"
The bear responds, "I dunno... I've always had them."
What do you call a polar bear wearing ear muffs? Anything you want. He can't hear you!
A polar bear walks into a bar
A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I'll have a Bud Lite. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and coke.”
The bartender asks “What's with the big pause?”
The bear responds: “I dunno... I've just always had them.”
Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects? They were looking for the ark tick.
A polar bear falls into the water
"Help! I'm dissolving!"
A black bear shows up and says, "But bears are insoluble"
"That's easy for you to say. You're not polar!"
A polar bear walks into a bar
Bartender: What'll you have?
Polar bear: I'll have a gin and...................tonic.
Bartender: OK but why the big pause?
Polar bear looks down and says: I don't know...i was born with them.
What is the difference between a polar bear and the World Series? One has cubs
Where does a polar bear keep his money? In a snow bank.
Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.
A polar bear walks into a bar.
The bartender asks "what'll it be?"
The bear says "I'll have a gin......and tonic."
the bartender says "ok, but why the big pause?"
The bear looks down and says "I don't know, I've always had them."
What's the difference between a Trump voter and a polar bear? One is a fat, white, mindless killing machine with no conscience or future, and the other is a bear.
A polar bear walks into a bar
and says to the bartender, "I'll have a gin and uhhh........ tonic."
"Sure thing," says the bartender. "But why the big pause?"
"I don't know," says the polar bear. "I was born with them."
A polar bear walks into a bar and says "I'd like a Gin ............................. and tonic please". The barman asks "What's with the big pause?" To which the bear replies "I don't know, I've always had them".
A polar bear walks into a bar
"I'll have a whiskey....and coke", said the bear.
"Certainly, but why the big pause?"
"Because I was born with them", replied the bear.
How do you catch a polar bear?
Go to the arctic, take a can of peas.
When you get there, cut a hole in the ice and place peas all around the edge of it.
When the polar bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole.
What did the seal with the broken arm say to the Polar bear? Do not consume if seal is broken.
A Polar Bear Walks Into A Restaurant...
and says to the waiter, "I'll have a turkey sandwich and a large....coke". The waiter replies, "What's with the long pause?"
"I don't know," says the polar bear, "I've always had them.
----
Pause=Paws. No one thinks I'm funny.
A polar bear walks into a restaurant..
The polar bear tells the waitress,
"I'll have a Diet Coke, a double cheeseburger and a-"
...
...
... "side of fries."
"What's with the long pause!?" The waitress asked.
The polar bear replied,
"I was born with them."
How to catch a polar bear
First, you dig a hole in the ice,
then you sprinkle peas around the hole
When a polar bear bends down to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole!
Why did the polar bear join the terrorist group. Because that is where the ISIS.
How do you catch a polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice, and surround it with peas. When he goes to take a pea, you kick him in the icehole.
Polar bears aren't the best animals in the world. But they're all white.
Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub.
One of the bears says:
"Can you pass the soap?"
The other bear says:
"No soap, radio."
A polar bear walked into a bar.
"A rum and coke please." He asked.
"Certainly", replied the bar man, "but why the big pause?"
"I was born with them", answered the bear.
How do you capture a polar bear?
1. Dig a hole in the ice.
2. Place a bunch of peas around the hole
3. When the bear comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
How do you catch a polar bear? You make a hole in the ice and line it with peas. When the bear goes in to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
How do you catch a polar bear?
You cut a big hole in the ice and line the edge with green peas.
When the bear comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ice-hole!
Where do polar bears go to deposit money? A snowbank
Sexually and mentally confused white bear Bipolar bear
Today, my teacher asked me to summerize my work... So, I took out all the parts about polar bears and eskimos.
Hey girl, do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Just enough to be awkward when meeting a girl, hi my names steve.
Why is the polar bear so friendly? Cause he's an ice guy!
How did the narcissistic polar bear get so ripped? Because he took a lot of polar roids.
(cheesy pickup line) How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice
What does a polar bear need to go through to publish a book ? The seal of approbation.
What do you guys think of polar bears? I think they all white.
Which bear can dissolve in water? A polar bear
Why are certain bears so attracted to each other? Because they are polar bears (hence forming permanant dipole interactions)
A polar bear goes into a bar . . .
. . .and says to the bartender: “I’ll have a Gin and… Tonic.”
The bartender asks, “Why the big pause?”
And the polar bear replies, “I don’t know, I’ve always had them.”
What do you get when you take the Cosine of (Polar Bear)?
A Cartesian Bear.
What has my life become?
What's the dumbest animal in the Amazon jungle? The polar bear.
Travel advisory: Polar bears visiting the South Pole have been reporting extreme manic depression. It's not easy being bipolar.
How do you catch a polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice and place peas around it. When the bear comes to take a pea, kick it in the icehole.
What do you call a gender-fluid arctic mammal with anger issues? A bi-polar bear!
A polar bear walks into a bar ...
The bartender says "Hey we have a drink named after you"
The polar bear says "Huh, you have a drink named Ted?"
What does a polar bear get for lunch? 30 minutes like every body else.
Always bring a polar bear on a date. They're great at... _breaking the ice_!
How do you trap a polar bear? You cut a hole in the ice and line it with peas. When the bear bends over to take a pea, you kick him in the icehole.
Why do polar bears like bald white men? Because they have a big white bear place
What lives at the North Pole and takes Lithium?
A bi-polar bear.
[OC, circa 2005]
How do you capture a Polar Bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, and place peas around the hole.
When he goes to take a pea, kick him in the icehole
My Grandad used to tell me a story about how he once saw a Polar Bear fall from a great height
...He said it was a great ice breaker
*ba-dum-tschh*
A polar bear goes into a bar
bartender: "Hey, I got a drink named after you"
Polarbear: "Do you have a drink called Allan?"
Whats the dumbest animal in the desert? The polar bear.