Politics Jokes

Hey Baby, are you russian? Because you seem to be influencing my erection.
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*Full Disclosure: Someone else made this as a snarky comment on a politics subreddit and I realized it would make a good joke*

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks',
meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.

[Politics] Trump: 'The less immigrants we bring in the better' Pence: 'The fewer'

Trump: 'I told you not to call me that yet'

I asked my doctor when we could anticipate an end to the coronavirus epidemic He said “I don’t know. I’m not really into politics.”

I have degrees in Politics, Economics and Psychology. I don't have a job but at least I know why.

If A Democrat Wins, I'm Leaving, If a Republican wins, I'm also leaving.

This has nothing to do with politics.

I just really want to travel.

Did you hear the one about Bernie Sanders? Probably not, the /r/politics mods deleted it before anyone saw.

TIL where the word 'politics' comes from 'Poly' is from the Greek meaning *many*, and 'tick' is from *a bunch of blood sucking parasites*

What's the difference between organized crime and politics? One's organized.

If you ever lost in the woods don't panic! Start talking about politics and someone will show up to argue with you. Just follow them back when they leave.

I majored in Politics, Computer Science, and Dance. Now I'm stuck writing Al Gore Rhythms.

My girlfriend dumped me because she didn’t agree with my politics I’m right and she left

The word politics is derived from two words The word poly meaning many and the word ticks meaning blood sucking parasite.

We use a very accurate term to describe our government. Politics, poly meaning many, and ticks meaning bloodsucking creatures.

What's the difference between US Politics and WWE? one is a predetermined charade that takes a tremendous amount of willingness to suspend disbelief


the other is pro wrestling.

What do you call 3 mentally handicapped people applying for the same job? American politics

Tip: if you don't want comedians weighing in on politics.... ...don't elect a joke.

(Credit to Bo Burnham)

The etymology of the word "politics" is surprisingly accurate. "poly" meaning "many", and tics meaning "small bloodsucking parasites."

Whats the difference between the government and corporations One controls politics, the other is the government

You may not believe that Blackface happened in Canadian Politics... It's Trudeau.

A bigot redneck and a psychopathic grandma get into an arguement Someone filmed it and decided to call it politics

If poly means many and ticks are blood sucking parasites, then politics must mean...

What do you get when you combine tragedy and comedy? American politics.

r/Jokes is getting stale At least we still have /r/politics

What do you call a parody when the actors are unaware it's satire? Politics.

I've finally understood the meaning of "politics" It's derived from "poly", the Greek word for "many", and "tics", a blood sucking parasite.

Nearly 200,000 Californians evacuated due to Oroville Dam reaching a likely catastrophic failure. You may think this isn't the time to bring up politics however this is Trump's fault. No man made structure was built to hold so many liberal tears.

[Politics] Illegal immigrants are lucky The government is helping them escape the US

...and into mexico, where a booming ladder industry is providing plenty of jobs

I just compiled my new app, its named "Politics". It's corrupted.

Politics is self describing The word politics comes from poli- meaning many,

and -tics, meaning blood sucking parasites.

American politics is like sand It's coarse and gets everywhere.

Chinese politics must be awesome! I mean... Who wouldn't want an entire day dedicated to "erections"?

Why did Julius Caesar want to quit politics? All that backstabbing was too much for him.

I Know It's Bad Politics but... I've secretly been running a smear campaign on all the toilets at work.

A blond is asked the definition of Politics. She says "Simple! It comes from two words. The first, poly- which is Latin for many. And ticks, which are blood sucking bugs."

credit - Taylor Mason

The difference between chess and politics: Only in politics can it be a blunder to play the game.

Polish people are really knowledgeable about politics. Every time the news is on they keep saying "Let's see what the Poles have to say."

Politics From "poli" meaning many and "tics" meaning bloodsuckers.

When German politics go right, they go far right. Right through Poland