Hilarious Pope Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Pope Jokes

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Why does the pope not want to be cremated? Because he is still alive.

Score: 395

After weeks of speculation that the new pope would be black... ...alter boys at the Vatican are letting out a collective sigh of relief

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Why did Popeye beat up the Pope? He heard he was going to Mount Olive

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A. Schwarzenegger has it long, Brad Pitt short, Madonna does not have it and the Pope does not use it. What is it? A surname.

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I heard the Pope's first choice for a guest was in fact Hillary... But he couldn't afford her speaking fees

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The Pope walks into a synagogue... The rabbi says, "Why the wrong faith?"

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The pope walks into a mosque The imam says "Hey, why the wrong faith?"

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How does the Pope make online purchases? Using his Papal account.

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The Pope walks into a mosque The Imam asks "Why the wrong faith?"

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The pope walks into a Mosque A Muslim looks up and asks

"Why the wrong faith?"

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What do you call it when somebody kills a perfect circle of religious leaders? A 360 No-Pope

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What do you call a traveling Pope? A Roamin' Catholic.

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The Pope is sick. Apparently the Pope resigned because he was sick with bird flu. He got it from a Cardinal.

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Why hasn't there been a black pope? Because black men are afraid of being fathers.

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So the Pope joined twitter so he can "Reach out to a younger generation." He is certainly not the first Catholic to have done that.

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Clint Eastwood, the Pope, and Yoda walk into the bar... It was at this point I realized I had done WAY too many tequila shots.

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Trump's is short, and Arnold Schwarzenegger's is long; Madonna doesn't have one, and the Pope is not supposed to use his. Of course I'm talking about... ... their last name.

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For some reason the Pope didn't... sponsor my program for terminally ill Chinese children. He said he didn't like the name - What's wrong with "Youth in Asia"???

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The new Pope got Bird flu... ...I heard he caught it from one of his Cardinals.

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What does the Pope use to clean his counters? A Papal towel.

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How does the pope refer to his secret superhero identity? It's his altar ego.

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It’s ridiculous that the pope has to go around surrounded by armed guards these days I know he’s a priest but he’s not going to do anything out in public

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Whats the difference between a Pope and acne? Acne doesn't come on a boy's face until he is around 12.

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What type of car does the pope drive A Christler

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What is the Catholic Church giving up for Lent? Answer: The Pope!

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What do you call the Pope when he is sleepwalking? A Roamin' Catholic.

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What's The Pope's favorite chord? G Sus

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How do you castrate the pope? Kick the altar boy in the chin.

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The Pope walks into a synagogue the Rabbi asks, "Why the wrong faith?"

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The pope blessed the people of Ireland today. So don’t pick a fight with an Irishman. For a short time, all their attacks do maximum damage.

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What does the Pope use to get you out of jail? Christian Bale.

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What is The Pope's favorite workout program? Cross-fit

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What does the Pope use his filing cabinet for? Storing his Papalwork.

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What do you call it when somebody kills a perfect circle of christians? 360 no pope

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What does a midget pope and my oldest underwear have in common? They're both a little holy.

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Did you hear what the Pope was giving up for lent? His job.

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A blond, a rabbi, a schoolkid, a lawyer, a prostitute, the pope, a pirate and George Bush walk into a bar... The bartender says:

Is this a joke?

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What did the Pope call Batman when he caught him leaving church early? Christian Bale

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What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive? Popeye almost killed him!

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New Pope Jokes

Donald Trump, the Pope, the oldest man in the world and a 10 year old are all on a plane when it is about to crash. Donald Trump reaches for the boys backpack when the German Pilot regained control of the plane and says ‘no jokes’

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The pope just twated negative for the coronavirus Which is a good thing since touches alot of people day to day.

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Why the pope prefers twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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You heard about the Pope getting stuck in the elevator right? When asked to comment he said it was an elevating experience.

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What pronouns does the Pope go by? He/hymn

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A List of World Leaders and Whether Or Not They Own a Fried Chicken Chain Trump: No

Merkel: No

Putin: No

Trudeaux: No

Pope: Yes

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What is Pope Francis' favorite genre of music? Shoegaze

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It's official the Pope has canceled Easter. They found the body.

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What is the difference between the Pope’s luggage and a group of teenage girls? One of them are totes blessed and the other are blessed totes.

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Where does the Pope swim? In the Holy See.

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When asked what sort of women he would consider sleeping with the pope replied Nun.

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For Halloween I'm going to dress my dog up as a famous pope. I was thinking Pope John Paw.

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Have you heard about Pope Harry? I was told he smells quite nice.

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Why do stoners love the Pope? He sell a bit.

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Why does the Pope kiss the ground after he lands? He flies Alitalia.

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Pope Francis warns the public about the evils of Horoscope readings... Born: December 17, "Your ideas are abstract and don't always make reasonable sense."

What a Sagittarius thing to say...

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What is the difference between the pope and... ISP: Please pay a fee of $0.99 to see the rest of this joke.

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A good one to get Catholics in church. This has to be done in their most sacred place in front of others.

Knock, knock?

Who's there?

The Pope

The Pope Who??

(Just shake your head in shame)

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What is the painting in Milwaukee of Pope Benedict called using 17,000 Colored Condoms? Eggs Benedict.

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The Pope, Hitler and Batman walk into a bar Bartender says, "Holy Seisse Batman."

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A child molester, old dude, and pope enter a bar... And he orders a drink.

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Since assuming the title in 2013, Pope Francis has visited more than 27 countries. I guess he really is a roamin' Catholic.

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What is the name of the bar in the Vatican? The Pope-acabana

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"Betty White" What the African American said when he heard there was a new Pope.

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How do Protestants like their orange juice? without Pope

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What did the Pope say when a cougar crossed his path? Oh my gosh I almost Puma pants.

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my daughter's joke How does the Pope fly to Mass?

In his HolyCopter.

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What Did The People Say When A Mole Was Elected As Pope? HOLEY MOLEY!

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