Hilarious Radio Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Radio Jokes

An old Ukrainian is cleaning his hunting rifle one day when his grandson runs in "Grandfather, the radio says that the Russians have gone into space!"

"All of them?" he asks, putting down his rifle.

"No, only one."

He starts cleaning the rifle again.

Score: 13236

Yesterday I saw an ad that said "radio for sale, $1, volume stuck on full" I thought, "I can't turn that down"

Score: 1992

As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal." "Until the pressure got to him."

Score: 501

If a man's signature is called a "John Hancock" what do you call a woman's? Historically insignificant.

Full disclosure: Heard on the radio this morning on my way to work.

Score: 326

I swear if I hear Uptown Funk one more time... I will smash my radio. Don't believe me? Just watch

Score: 307

Just because someone found out how to connect a keyboard and a portable radio together doesn't make them a nerd That would be stereotyping.

Score: 292

Guy calls in on radio show **Guy**: Hey! I found this wallet with $2k, an Amazon gift card, and it says it belongs to someone named 'Ryan'
**Host**: Oh how nice of you. Do you want me to ask Ryan to reclaim it?
**Guy**: No, I want to request a sad song for Ryan

Score: 250

I walked in on my wife singing the other day. Surprised, I said "Oh, I thought you were the radio."

Flattered, she asked "Did you come to listen?"

"No," I replied, "I came to turn it off."

Score: 188

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

Score: 159

Two policemen . . . Two policemen call the station on their radio.

"Hello. ..... Is this the Sarge?"

"Yes?"

"We have a case here, Sarge. A woman has shot her husband
dead for stepping on the floor she had mopped."

"Have you arrested the woman?"

"No sir. The floor is still wet."

Score: 136

I just heard an old man tell this joke on live radio... - Knock, Knock

- Who's there?

- Little Boy Blew

- Little Boy Blue, who?

- Jared, from Subway, that's who

Score: 100

A blond girl turns on the radio and hears that 2 Brazilian men were killed As she starts to cry she asks "How many is a Brazilian?"

Score: 95

Wife: We're not talking over the radio. This relationship is over. Husband: This relationship is what? Over.

Score: 86

I was travelling on the West Coast when I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that said: "I miss Detroit" ...so I broke a window, stole the radio, and left a note that said, "Hope this helps."

Score: 78

Think New Yorkers don't get along? I just saw two complete strangers share a cab... One took the wheels and tires, the other took the battery and the radio.

Score: 77

Missing South Africa In Toronto I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read:
"I miss South Africa."

So I broke the window, took the radio and left a note that read:
"I hope this helps."

Score: 76

I walked into a shop and saw a radio for sale because the volume was stuck on high... ...I thought, I can't turn this down!

Score: 61

Yesterday I saw an ad Yesterday I saw an ad that said "radio for sale, $1, volume stuck on full." I thought, "I can't turn that down."

Score: 57

Score: 51

Good night kids Me : good night kids

Kids : good night dad

Me : good night monster under the bed who eats bad kids

Wife ( through radio under the bed) : good night

Score: 49

Yesterday, I saw an ad that said, "Radio For Sale, $1 , Volume Stuck on Full." I can't turn that down.

Score: 48

I saw an ad on Craigslist "Radio, $1, volume stuck on high." I thought, "I can't turn that down...”

Score: 48

Why is the ocean so salty? Probably because the land doesn't wave back.

Credit: local radio

Score: 44

What’s the difference between Chris Brown and a radio station? Radio stations only have 90 minutes of nonstop hits.

Score: 44

Did you hear about Paul Walker on the radio? And the dashboard and pretty much the rest of the interior

Score: 40

A blonde is driving in her car and turns on the radio.. It says that two Brazilian men were killed. She stats crying and says, "How many is a brazilian?"

Score: 39

my wife is alot like pandora radio she is always asking me if I am still listening

Score: 37

I ap-p-p-p-lied for a j-job as a r-r-r-radio an-n-nouncer. Sh-sh-shame on them, rej-jecting me because I'm b-b-b-black.

Score: 36

Dear JUSTIN BEIBER haters... Dear JUSTIN BEIBER haters*
.
.
.
I owe my life to justin.
On march 9th, 2012 I was in a coma for 6 months after a terrible car crash.

One day my nurse turned the radio to Justin's song, So I got up and turned the radio off.

Score: 33

Hey Grandma, be careful. They said on the radio someone is driving the wrong way down the highway. "That's funny, I see hundreds of them"

Score: 33

What does the flint water crises and Chicago PD have in common? The amount of lead put into black people.

(It was funnier over the radio)

Score: 28

A police officer called the station on his radio... "I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped."

"Have you arrested the woman?"

"Not yet. The floor's still wet."

Score: 23

Princess Dianna was on the radio the night she died. And the steering wheel, and the dashboard, and the windshield...

Score: 23

Two kangaroos are in the bathtub. cuz why not One kangaroo says, "Pass the soap."
The other kangaroo says, "No soap...radio!"

Score: 21

I was in Florida recently to visit a good friend... and saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read, "I miss Detroit."

So I broke the window, stole the radio, and left a note that read...

"I hope this helps."

Score: 20

My wife's favorite song is "Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers. She says so every time it's on the radio. I reply "I know, I know, I know, I know, I know..."

Score: 19

I can’t get my satellite radio to work I’m having sirius issues

Score: 17

Wife: We're not talking over the radio. This relationship is over. Me: This relationship is what? Over.

Score: 16

German ocean rescue radio headquarter *A call comes to the radio*

"German Ocean Rescue, what is your problem?"
"Help, we are sinking, we are sinking!"
"What are you sinking about?"

Score: 15

You could tell my parents hated me... My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. (RIP Rodney Dangerfield)

Score: 14

New Radio Jokes

A Scottish Canadian man called me on my radio talk show. He started insulting me and repeating what I said in a weird voice It was call-in mockery

Score: 2

Did you ever hear about what happened seven days after Cuba Gooding Jr. watched the cursed tape from The Ring? The Video Killed the Radio Star.

Score: 1

Do you know why NE-YO turned the radio off ? “Because he so sick of love songs@

Score: 0

Iran listening to amrican Radio Radio: "it seems like our strongest solider Joe just lended in Iran"

Iran:"how's Joe?"

Radio:"Joe mama!"

Score: 0

What happened to the sheep with the getoblaster It was radio active

Score: 0

A man is driving to work as he turns on the radio "Very important announcement! A Wrong-Way-Driver on the Dan Ryan Expressway!"

The man seems confused.

"A wrong-way-driver?? There's hundreds!"

Score: 2

A girl is singing her favorite songs Her grandma comes in the room and says: ,,Oh, that was you, I thought it was the radio."

Girl: ,,And you came to listen granny!? :D"

,,Naw, I wanted to turn off the radio."

Score: 7

My girlfriend is my own personal radio DJ She plays the same songs over and over every day

Score: 2

A brother and sister, and husband and wife, are sitting in the living room listening to the radio. Suddenly, “Sweet Home Alabama” started playing. The two looked at each other and exclaimed, “Our song!”

Score: 5

I used to host a morning radio show targeting the unemployed, It started at 2pm

Score: 6

What happened to the shark that wanted to work at a radio station? He died after he went on air

Score: 1

I'm 75 and someone assumed that I listen to AM radio... How dare they stereotype me like that

Score: 8

I listened to a colonialist radio station the other day on the way back from work It was just white noise.

Score: 2

While driving home I heard on the radio that convicts had escaped a prisoner transport after colliding with a concrete truck. Authorities say to be on the lookout for hardened criminals.

Score: 6

What is Harry Potter's favorite radio station? Sirius XM

Score: 3

3 Brazilian A blonde was listening to the radio when suddenly she heard "3 Brazilian men died in a fatal car accident." The woman then asked, "How much is a Brazilian?"

Score: 5

I just bought myself a radio controlled pork polisher It's called Guglielmo Marconi's Baloney Zamboni

Score: 1

Why did the scientist abandon making his electron radio? There was too much static.

Score: 3

How does a Ham Radio buff send a break-up message? Remorse Code

Score: 6

Two radio antennas got married The wedding wasn't much but the reception was excellent

Score: 4

Pearl Jam's "Alive" song just came on the radio... You don't gotta rub it in Eddie Vedder.

Score: 2

Prince William and the Archbishop of Canterbury are playing checkers... William makes his move, when over the radio they hear that the Queen has died. The Archbishop says to William "I'm so sorry for your loss." to which William says "King me."

Score: 2

I could tell my parents hated me My bath toys were a toaster and a radio

Score: 3

I'm selling this new shower radio I just bought a few days ago. It keeps singing the wrong lyrics.

Score: 3

So I heard Chris Christie is delving into sports radio... It would give all those people stuck on the bridge something to listen to.

Score: 2

A police officer called the station on his radio "Uh... Sir, we got a interesting case in here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped"

"Have you arrested the women?"

"No... the floor's still wet"

Edit:Grammar

Score: 3

Talk is cheap. But AM radio still can't turn a profit.

Score: 4

What do you call a Hispanic radio station? Mixed Signals

Score: 2

Two radio antennas got married.. The wedding was okay,but the reception was great.

Score: 2

So the boxing kangaroo says to the microwave... "No soap radio!"

Score: 1

So a radio talks to another radio Over.

Score: 9

What's the difference between Chris Brown and a radio station? The radio station only has 90 minutes of non-stop hits.

Score: 4

Why are DJ's called 'radio personalities' ? Because if they had the looks they'd be on TV.

Score: 2

Two Germans are out at sea... They are minding their own business when a panicked radio message came in, "we are sinking, help! WE ARE SINKING!"

And the Germans responded, "What are you sinking about?"

Score: 1